Just found this on NewsNow - some light hearted fun at this tedious time of year!
http://www.footballfancast.com/2012...52201-07ee0d6e000005dc-887112_636x467-100x100
10. Strong defence – Nine times out of ten you’re going to be wrong. It’s the way it goes as an ‘in the know.’ So make sure you’ve got the excuses lined up. None of the ‘well you can’t be right all the time’ rubbish, make it creative. ‘Honestly guys, Sergio Ramos WAS a dead cert to join City, it’s just his missus is good friends with Carlos Tevezand he told her the Manchester restaurants are still useless. And Ramos is a man who likes a good paella. Reckon it will be back on January though.’ If you want to keep your job as the best ITK in the business, it’s important to perfect the art of excuses. Because you’re going to need them. A lot.
9. Impervious to criticism – I’ll be honest, there’ll be a lot of flak coming your way. People don’t like the fact their star striker has just been linked with their local rivals for a cut price fee. So they’ll be bound to tell you what they think of you in no uncertain terms. Then you’ll get the disappointed folk who are dismayed at the fact your certain tip didn’t pay off at the bookies. Ah well, maybe next time! Don’t rise to the bait, keep your cool and stress the difficulty of a job like yours. At the end of the day, they’ll still come back for more gossip next time their club is involved.
8. Humility – On the off-chance you actually call one correctly, now’s the time to play the humble card. No bragging to the rest of the world about your wonderful gift of foresight. Don’t forget, you’re always right! You’re an ‘in the know,’ it’s your job to call these moves correctly.
7. Deadline Day – This is your forte. Your D-Day, your Waterloo. If you’re not in constant action at the end of August and January, you may as well just give up. The sporting world goes mad for Deadline Day as people find themselves desperate for news on any potential signings that will boost their sides’ chances for the rest of the season. Deadline Day is so mental, it makes Jim White more popular on Sky Sports News than Georgie Thompson. Take your chance while you can, all the other ‘in the knows’ will be in full swing on this momentous occasion so you’ve got to be at the top of your game. Carpe Diem and all that.
6. Big Named Players – With the greatest respect to Cheltenham Town, nobody in the gossip world really cares if Billy Bodin of Swindon Town has been spotted in a taxi on his way to Whaddon Road. Keep them big, keep them high profile. Through a few world superstars into the mix, after all no one can understand enough Italian to check the Azzurri press for confirmation that Gigi Buffon has just signed for Tottenham. Everyone likes a good English rumour as well though, if only for the fact that the hacks can start laying intoLiverpool for splashing out another £20 million on more overrated English talent.
5. Geographical Knowledge – This is a crucial element for an expert ‘in the know.’ All the best rumours start with seeing a player check into a nearby hotel or landing in the terminal of the local airport. Well, if you spot Robbie Keane house hunting in the footballers’ belt in Alderley Edge, Cheshire, don’t then declare him to be signing for Tottenham later. The same applies for airports. If Kevin-Prince Boateng is meant to be signing for Newcastle, he’s not exactly going to be swatting off the paparazzi at East Midlands airport. A few well-placed geographical spottings will heighten your credibility infinitely.
4. Wisdom – Be clever with what you’re posting. Don’t be afraid to jump on the bandwagon of other stories, just add your own twist to it. If you spot a rumour developing, hijack it and turn it into your own. The internet or newspapers are useful for this, indeed there are plenty of sites that offer Transfer Rumours »â€>transfer rumours in abundance. You don’t have to be creative all the time. Keep the people guessing as well. A few mysterious posts in the middle of the night from a different country has everybody on tenterhooks and eager for the morning’s news. Variety is the spice of life don’t forget.
3. Superiority and Conviction – Take a firm stand. It’s not much good to the rumour-hungry pack of wolves out there if you’re ‘only 60% sure’ that Arsenal have tied up that last minute deal for Mario Gotze. People will look elsewhere for harder, better evidence and you’ll fall by the wayside pretty quickly. Take the moral high ground if people question you and sneer viciously at them in 140 characters for ever suggesting you could be wrong. Give the people what they want, you’re the ‘Gossip God’ after all!
2. Good Sources – Let’s be honest, no one’s going to take you seriously if your mum’s cousin’s second brother’s wife’s gardener has revealed the information that Darren Bent is heading to Liverpool. It’s a somewhat tenuous link. Ideally, your ‘source’ is someone at the club already, maybe a member of security on the gate who’s seen Bent heading through the Anfield entrance, or the tea lady who’s justdelivered milk and one sugar to the England striker in the boardroom. Now that will get their attention
1. King of the Tweet – Twitter is to the modern day ‘in the know’ what Lionel Messi is to Barcelona. Indispensible. How else are you supposed to spread your rumours? Pick yourself a mysterious and omnipotent username (something like TheGossipGod will suffice) and attach a suitable profile picture. Build your followers wisely and tweet those that might seem distracted by a lovely titbit now and again. Use your hashtags astutely as well. Picking the right player could get your work flagged up to thousands of people, especially if that player is already trending. The bulk of your mischief making will be done on here, so make sure you keep up a visible presence on the world’s most gossipy social networking site.
http://www.footballfancast.com/2012...52201-07ee0d6e000005dc-887112_636x467-100x100
10. Strong defence – Nine times out of ten you’re going to be wrong. It’s the way it goes as an ‘in the know.’ So make sure you’ve got the excuses lined up. None of the ‘well you can’t be right all the time’ rubbish, make it creative. ‘Honestly guys, Sergio Ramos WAS a dead cert to join City, it’s just his missus is good friends with Carlos Tevezand he told her the Manchester restaurants are still useless. And Ramos is a man who likes a good paella. Reckon it will be back on January though.’ If you want to keep your job as the best ITK in the business, it’s important to perfect the art of excuses. Because you’re going to need them. A lot.
9. Impervious to criticism – I’ll be honest, there’ll be a lot of flak coming your way. People don’t like the fact their star striker has just been linked with their local rivals for a cut price fee. So they’ll be bound to tell you what they think of you in no uncertain terms. Then you’ll get the disappointed folk who are dismayed at the fact your certain tip didn’t pay off at the bookies. Ah well, maybe next time! Don’t rise to the bait, keep your cool and stress the difficulty of a job like yours. At the end of the day, they’ll still come back for more gossip next time their club is involved.
8. Humility – On the off-chance you actually call one correctly, now’s the time to play the humble card. No bragging to the rest of the world about your wonderful gift of foresight. Don’t forget, you’re always right! You’re an ‘in the know,’ it’s your job to call these moves correctly.
7. Deadline Day – This is your forte. Your D-Day, your Waterloo. If you’re not in constant action at the end of August and January, you may as well just give up. The sporting world goes mad for Deadline Day as people find themselves desperate for news on any potential signings that will boost their sides’ chances for the rest of the season. Deadline Day is so mental, it makes Jim White more popular on Sky Sports News than Georgie Thompson. Take your chance while you can, all the other ‘in the knows’ will be in full swing on this momentous occasion so you’ve got to be at the top of your game. Carpe Diem and all that.
6. Big Named Players – With the greatest respect to Cheltenham Town, nobody in the gossip world really cares if Billy Bodin of Swindon Town has been spotted in a taxi on his way to Whaddon Road. Keep them big, keep them high profile. Through a few world superstars into the mix, after all no one can understand enough Italian to check the Azzurri press for confirmation that Gigi Buffon has just signed for Tottenham. Everyone likes a good English rumour as well though, if only for the fact that the hacks can start laying intoLiverpool for splashing out another £20 million on more overrated English talent.
5. Geographical Knowledge – This is a crucial element for an expert ‘in the know.’ All the best rumours start with seeing a player check into a nearby hotel or landing in the terminal of the local airport. Well, if you spot Robbie Keane house hunting in the footballers’ belt in Alderley Edge, Cheshire, don’t then declare him to be signing for Tottenham later. The same applies for airports. If Kevin-Prince Boateng is meant to be signing for Newcastle, he’s not exactly going to be swatting off the paparazzi at East Midlands airport. A few well-placed geographical spottings will heighten your credibility infinitely.
4. Wisdom – Be clever with what you’re posting. Don’t be afraid to jump on the bandwagon of other stories, just add your own twist to it. If you spot a rumour developing, hijack it and turn it into your own. The internet or newspapers are useful for this, indeed there are plenty of sites that offer Transfer Rumours »â€>transfer rumours in abundance. You don’t have to be creative all the time. Keep the people guessing as well. A few mysterious posts in the middle of the night from a different country has everybody on tenterhooks and eager for the morning’s news. Variety is the spice of life don’t forget.
3. Superiority and Conviction – Take a firm stand. It’s not much good to the rumour-hungry pack of wolves out there if you’re ‘only 60% sure’ that Arsenal have tied up that last minute deal for Mario Gotze. People will look elsewhere for harder, better evidence and you’ll fall by the wayside pretty quickly. Take the moral high ground if people question you and sneer viciously at them in 140 characters for ever suggesting you could be wrong. Give the people what they want, you’re the ‘Gossip God’ after all!
2. Good Sources – Let’s be honest, no one’s going to take you seriously if your mum’s cousin’s second brother’s wife’s gardener has revealed the information that Darren Bent is heading to Liverpool. It’s a somewhat tenuous link. Ideally, your ‘source’ is someone at the club already, maybe a member of security on the gate who’s seen Bent heading through the Anfield entrance, or the tea lady who’s justdelivered milk and one sugar to the England striker in the boardroom. Now that will get their attention
1. King of the Tweet – Twitter is to the modern day ‘in the know’ what Lionel Messi is to Barcelona. Indispensible. How else are you supposed to spread your rumours? Pick yourself a mysterious and omnipotent username (something like TheGossipGod will suffice) and attach a suitable profile picture. Build your followers wisely and tweet those that might seem distracted by a lovely titbit now and again. Use your hashtags astutely as well. Picking the right player could get your work flagged up to thousands of people, especially if that player is already trending. The bulk of your mischief making will be done on here, so make sure you keep up a visible presence on the world’s most gossipy social networking site.
