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Please don’t joke about that, gave me palpitations for a whole summer our pursuit of him. And when he finally washed up on these shores with The Wolfs, he was still just as bloody good

Some really edgy stuff in here tonight, I may have to Mubarak round to the start and see what I’ve missed

That’s right. Quite helpful that it says the posters name too but I hear you!

Dickxie Dean

Possibly yes. Remember a lot of “Lettuce Hat” chat and of course the Yarmolenkometer fluctuating between Yarmolenkon and Yarmolenkoff

“We are the English Ca-ra-Mel and we’re mulling making a bid for you “

I’ll never forget Sarah and Amy, broke my effing heart those 2

I couldn’t multiquote your one mate, but it’s appreciated

Thank you brothers. And to all, let’s be strong and keep the faith. It’s not easy being an Evertonian, but let’s hope for better times. It’s not so long ago 777 almost took us to the cleaners. Onwards and upwards 💙

Evening all. Anyone feeling brave enough to give me a pissometer update?

One terrible incident earlier, a poor chap lost full control of his bladder and delivered a total soaking. That said, we’ve seen way worse in here before. Current pissometer rating 5/10.

Blimey, not taken today’s pre-season result too well then. We all know it’s frustrating mate but this is a full on duvet, sheet, mattress and pyjama soaking

No mate, it’s the transfer thread, it’s a “use your noggin” free zone

Delighted to have you here friend, do you bring us news of medical examinations once more?

Fair enough, just the 2 seems puzzling though

And for clarity (and with respect) are you suggesting that’s a bad thing backed up by stating you’d only want 2 of his top 20 (in terms of fees) W.Ham signings?

Of course his previous record warrants scrutiny, especially if as you suggest he’ll have the final say on transfers in the new “flatter structure”, however, there’s definitely some decent signings on that list beyond Kudus and Bowen; Emerson, Paqueta, Soucek and Coufal from a cursory glance

Morning friends. I hope you’re all strapped in and ready for another session. I’m hoping for the usual thrust of false hope, genuine interest, slagging of the current/previous regime (your choice but you must choose one), drivel and tetchiness as according to some (you know who you are) the...