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My personal beauty is legendary in my small town, though most citizens here are blind. Many have been neurologically damaged due to toxic runoff in the water, but this doesn't in any way factor into the deep regard they have for me and my Fine Figure.

Fantastic, I'll be right over. Please alert the media. You'll recognize me right away by the stylish hump I have on my back. Also the pronounced sagittal crest over my brows. I walk with a stutter and speak with a limp.

That does it: identify your current location. I'm coming over there to punch you in the neck.

I'm a dangerous man to cross.

Simply an abomination. Something should be done. A council should be convened with sweeping powers to regulate such things, with extreme violence if necessary. I volunteer to video the proceedings and then market souvenirs to the hoi poloi

First time poster here, so pardon me if I sound cirumspect and bashful - as a Yank I know I'm supposed to only post about Donovan and Howard and the Glory Days of McBride, etc - but my favorite Everton player has been and will continue to be Fellaini. He's just the type of midfielder I love...