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"Kazuyoshi Miura, the world's oldest professional footballer at 56, has extended his stay with Portuguese second-tier side Oliveirense." Oh well, that's our top target gone

Clowns

We're going to end up with Phil Jones aren't we

Keep noticing other premier league clubs are linked with teenagers abroad, yet we are just linked with man utd reserves. Also worryingly seen that Forest want rid of Dennis.

Is he our best player or signing this summer? No. But let's all get behind him, we're building a young hard working team, and as seen with Iwobi, a.bit of support can go a long way and he definitely has potential to improve and be an asset to us

I'm wondering if we're trying to get a player in exchange and maybe even another on loan and that's delaying things

Need some players to stand and point to let him know

Gotta love it when look on this next fixture page, and an advert is on there for funeral plans...

It'll be all Dwight on the night He's scoring tomorrow, don't worry...

Think they want him done and in stands for their next game, according to BBC

Forgotten our pin number, asking Tramere if we can borrow a fiver

Passes medical, comes on pitch tomorrow before the game. Falls over, out for a year

Not heard of him. Does he play for Burnley?

See Forest are link with Jizz Hornkamp. No idea who he is but maybe we should check him out. He may come good for us...

"Let's go buy a Dwight, Up to the highest flight Let's go buy a Dwight And send us soaring"

Our DoF was seen hanging about the local tip to see if any usable chairs were bring thrown out...

After it becomes apparent we can't afford anyone from Watford or Burnley, we are linked with players relegated from the championship to league 1. We still fail to sign anyone else all summer, and panic on deadline day, and try to re=sign JJK for 10m

It's like something your Nan gets you for Christmas if she doesn't have time to knit you a hideous jumper

1. Lukaku has a massive falling out with the Chelsea hierarchy and we pick him up on loan 2. He and dcl form a lethal partnership, both well into double digits by Christmas and propelling us up the league 3. Rather obviously the media christen them Dom and Rom. They both score a hattrick as...

Dom only gets a game if Kane is out or rested, won't matter what he does domestically as Southgate has his favourite players. He seems to set up well for the start of games but doesn't know how to change things up if needed. His subs were always Henderson, grealish, and if needed a forward...