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Not great. But then he’s behind our defence.

down here at saints, we’re just slowly circling the relegation drain, before quietly, limply dropping out of the division. Fair play to you guys - you’re really going out in a blaze of glory.

If you can't beat us today, you might as well give up, lads - our brilliant manager has picked a team with literally no pace vs your ageing defence - our midfield is absolutely lightweight - back four look good on paper, but 3 of them don't want to play for us - immobile keeper who stops...

It doesn't have to be a good shot

I'll believe it when I see it. Our keeper is immobile. All you'll need is a single shot on target.

And anyway, Jenas said on football focus that you're just one player away from getting it right

Southampton Nil fan here. We never score at home so you can't lose. We're just terrible going "forwards". Just a bit ahead of sideways would be a better description. On paper, we have one of the best back fours in the league. Unfortunately 3 of them don't want to play for us, and are putting...

Cheer up. you'll still beat us on Sunday. Unbelievably we're even worse

Saints fan here, lads Was compelled to sign up when I read you lot saying how we're going to turn you over on Sunday. You have got to be kidding. We are the worst team in the league. Also. Martina. Lol.