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Erm, we would have been relegated without Doucoure's goal. And before that if we hadn't come back from 0-2 against Palace. But I guess you are happy with that.

Constant bed wetting stuff is much worse. Like, bravo, someone came up with this but is it really necessary for every dumbskull to repeat it 10 times per day?

We very nearly got relegated twice in the last five years. And during Moyes's first time our net spend was lowest in the PL which usually means bad things. So we are not a PL team because of the great leadership.

Yeah? Everyone thought we were favourites to go down. Remember how the first home match went? Hey, maybe we should've sold Branthwaite and bought someone for 2 million to replace him?

I'm sure you base this on the great leadership and business acumen club has shown in the past 30 years?

Nice to know we have a sub who would struggle in the Championship playing if even one of Tarkowski, Branthwaite or JOB is injured.

So who plays RB when he plays CB? Injured Coleman or not-good-enough Patterson?

OK, you think goals is the only thing that matters. I think everyone can completely disregard your opinions about football from now on.

I will absolutely laugh my ass off if we sign Harrison.

Btw, it starts to look quite likely that team goes to US without any additions. So three matches where Moyes will basically give lots of minutes to players who will never be first team players.

Newsflash: even wingers are expected to do more than just score goals these days.

So new signings don't need to gel in? Just throw them into the first team right away and that's fine?

What's this? Talking sense to lads who think a youngster with zero first-team experience will be better than someone who has played in three of the five top European leagues?

Probably are. There is a good chance neither will ever be a PL player.

Players who have left played in a total of almost 200 matches. Wank or not, who plays those games now? Young played tons at both flanks. Who plays LB if Mykolenko gets injured again? Who plays RW? And who is the sub for that position?

Just a thought but maybe, just maybe most of the Luiz talk came from his agent? We may have made an inquiry but it never went further because Luiz isn't interested. But his agent tried to use that to drum up interest from elsewhere and that hasn't happened so now this latest twist.

How many matches do they play in a season in NFL?

So they would be better than e.g. McNeil playing that position?

Why would I say that? Of course someone like Branthwaite is worth the risk, but we are not talking about players who might come good several years down the line. Unless of course you think our right wing situation is so good we don't actually need anyone there for this season. We signed...

We have signed players to the youth team this summer so I guess they should be counted?