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ZE FORUM EES NOT A SAFE PLACE OV A NIGHT JA? ZAT IS VEN ZE GHOULS ARE OUT TO FEAST

AHH VE HAF A GATHERING JA? **flies in through window, bites roztitute, flies out into cloud of smoke**

VOKEN UP TODAY FROM MEIN ZUMMER HIBERNATION UND I HAF CAST MY EYES UPON A CACAPHONY OV REDEECULOUS POSTING IN ZE EVERTON FOREUM JA? ZIS CANNOT AND VILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE UNCHECKED. TONIGHT VEN I RISE FROM MEIN CRYPT TO FEAST, I VILL BE TARETING ZOSE ZAT REQVIRE ELEIMINATION FROM ZE...

I AM VERY CAREFUL NOT TO BE PICKING ZE FIGHTS VITH SNIDERMAN. HIS AIMS UND MINE ARE OF A SIMILAR NATURE JA? ZER EES A JARGERMAN ON ZE LOOSE TONIGHT ZOH

ZE SNIDERMAN VONT HELP YOU HERE MEESTER EEJY.

I VAN TO SHOW YOU LOVE MEESTER AZOOL, YIU HAF BEEN VARY SUPPORTIVE. BUT I CAN ONLY SHOW ZE LOVE THROUGH BITING UND ZAT INEVITABLY LEADS TO BLOOD AND DYINGS **regrets murdering childhood friends**

BE VARY CAREFUL ON ZE STREETS TONIGHT JA? ZE SNIDEPIRE EES IN ZE MOOD TO FEAST **attacks waitress for bringing complimentary garlic bread"

AH MEES HELEN, ZE SNIDEPIRE MEANS NOT TO CREEP. SOMETIMES ZE URGE TO FEAST STRIKES AND ZERE IS NO CHOICE BUT TO BIT VICH EVER POTENTIAL VICTIM EES NEARBY. VOULD A TRIP TO MY CASTLE IN GOTSYLVANIA HELP MEND ZE FENCES? **puts on best cape**

ZEE CLOUD COVERING ZE MOON MAKES EET PERFECT TO HUNT VICTIMS JA? **removes Sniderman jammies, climbs out of coffin and flies out window**

YOU SINK MEESTER NEESON SCARES ME? HE EES VUN OF US YOU KNOW? VE HAVE ZE PARTICULAR SKILLS

I GET ZE SMELL OF BLOOD IN MY NOSTRILS FROM MILES AVAY. VE TARGET ZE VEAK AND YOU MEIN FRIEND ARE ZE VEAK.

EES A GOOD NIGHT FOR FEASTING JA? **files teeth into points and brushes for 90 seconds as recommended by Gotsylvania dentist Dr Gurlov**

ZE GREEN UND RED BUTTONS SHOULD BE FURZER APART FFS

I HAV HEARDS ZEES CLAIMS BEFORE MEESTER NUMBER ONE EVERTONISN THOUGHT HE VAS IMMUNE. HE VASNT.

AH I NOT PRESS ZE RIGHT BUTTON EES MISTAKE JA? I RECTIFY SOON

AH MEESTER VINCREDIBLE. HOW NICE TO BE MAKING YOUR ACQVAINTANCE. VILL YOU JOIN ME IN MEIN VAULT FOR A SMOOTHIE? EET EES CHERRY FLAVOUR I PROMISE YOU **empties the throat of a college girl into blender**

YOU SINK ZAT VILL STOP ME? I AM NO STINKING COMMON VAMPIRE. ZER EES NOTHINK ZAT CAN STOP ME. I AM IMPERVIOUS **walks past rep bar without creating reflection**

MARCO I AM VANTING TO GEEV YOU A FRESH START JA? I VARN YOU THOUGH, I HAF TASTED YOUR RED UND I VILL NOT HESITATE AGAIN JA?

I AM VANTING TO RID ZIS GLORIOUS PLACE OF ZOSE WHO SEEKS TO VINGE UND MOAN UND CAUSE ZE STRESSES EET EES MAYBE MY ACCENT YOU ARE HEARING? I AM NOT FROM ZEES PARTS

I AM AVARE OV ZEES ANTI HEROS YOU SPEAK OV. ZEY ARE NOT OF MEIN CONCERN. I AM MERELY LOOKING VOR A PLACE TO REST AFTER MEIN JOURNEY