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That's how Stracq talks around the house. He's learning English by watching Goldfinger over and over

As long as he lets me out the shed, I don't care

Yay! I'm a happy tortoise now

No, I'm a lettuce and strawberries kinda tortoise. I'm sure I could find you some meat though if you'd like to come to dinner? I getout of Stracq's shed tomorrw :)

I know. I've got my sunglasses all ready for my first venture into the sunshine tomorrow

I am. I woke up from my hibernate today and Stracq is letting me run free tomorrow, provided there's no hawks about, I even did a thread and stuff and a picture of me eating a strawberry

You seem very angry Mr Equaliser. Were you not happy with a point? You should have called yourself The Last Minute Winner instead

Oh. That's disappointing. Still, I get out the shed tomorrow so I'm happy :)

Hi davek. Are you a cat or an orange?

I like cute furry creatures. Are you friends with Elmo?

Hello GwladysGirl, do you have any lettuce for me to nibble?

My link isn't working, it keeps taking me to elephant porn

He should use whoever Stracq got to do his back lawn. Can't wait to get back out on it later <<puts on sunglasses ready to come out of shed>>

We have a union He's not bad honestly, just likes to play it safe before letting me out. If I'm not properly awake I might get eaten by an eagle or something

Elton John His music always gets me ready for coming out of my box

At least you lot can walk away if you want Would take me bloody ages

The sunshine. Getting bored of this shed now.

He likes to play upfront but doesn't like being lonely. He says he cant wait to play with Jelavic when his broken willy is fixed

Who? Everton? All I know is he loves the place and loves David Moyes even though he has "hair like fire" He's a little scared of that Pienaar guy though, says his voice is terrifying