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Meanwhile Moshiri demands a shrubbery.

My eldest’s been let down (again) so I’m after two for Sheffield United please.

Are these still available?

A goalfree dullfest to deflate the Sky hype, or a first-half Beto hat-trick followed by a crash zoom on Yaxley-Lennox’s gormless grid. Either’s fine by me.

And the first club to be docked points for breaching the spending cap is...

I have it on good authority that this is Onana's ringtone.

It’s not a right-hand side, it’s a retirement community.

Who is it that posts on here that says you rarely beat a team three times in a season? Well, that’s what we’ve got to do here. 1-0 Blues, nervy as hell.

Tavares you say?

Avoid relegation Win something Extend Dele's loan

Have you seen who’s refereeing? Any excuse and he’ll be whipping out cards right, left and centre.

My river’s Arabic so at least I can enjoy that.

Wow, we are mesmerisingly bad.

Their glottal stops in the chant “Lu’on” put my back right up. Bloody troglodytes.

Trentside Trees?

Has anyone tried firing up the Appeal Decision Tracker?

*tookened

McCoist was doing my head in. Everything Spurs did was fantastic, everything we did was somehow flawed. And Ange can rack off, the prize galah.

Honestly don’t understand this. You’ve clearly got access to the internet. Not everyone is free during box office opening hours due to work/child care/travel issues etc.