On a serious note, this is the account I received from Sgt Townshend of 600 Squadron who was based at Manston during the Battle of Britain:
This is the attack on Manston airfield on 14th August 1940: “Once again we were blessed with good weather. With the bombing of two days previous the aerodrome was in fairly poor shape with craters filled-in as best as could be to allow the fighter squadrons operating by day to get in and out.
“I was once again detailed for duty on top of the firing butts to keep a look-out for any movement of aircraft whether friend or foe that should happen to be in the area, and keep Sector Control informed. I also had an Armourer detailed to be with me. The Army were also on duty down below with their Bofors guns, and also in a field nearby. It must have been around 1215-1230 pm., I cannot recall the exact time, when my phone rang. Amber alert had turned to Red and an enemy formation which was given to me as fifteen-plus was approaching Manston from offshore between Margate and Ramsgate. No squadrons were on the deck this time – squadrons were up already. I could hear faint aircraft engines in the distance which was more of a drone but I could sight nothing. I had, in the meantime, checked all four .303s to make sure they were cocked and on ‘fire’ position. The telephone line to Sector Control was open all the time and information was being fed to me direct. ‘Formation appears to be thirty-plus and has turned to swing along the coast flying up and down between Margate and Ramsgate. Keep a sharp watch-out, we believe they are feinting this raid.’ What they were up to they only knew, as we were left guessing. Once again, the all-black long-nosed Blenheim showed up and flew parallel with the ’drome. The same as two days previous. Then suddenly over the ’phone – ‘they are turning and heading across the coastline. Manston was about three miles or so from the coast. ‘Could I see them?’ – No, I could hear them and the noise was increasing. The last message I can remember was ‘They must be nearly on top of you.’ They were. The identical attack as on 12th August. I picked the two long lines up through the haze, identical in detail as before. I grabbed the mounting with the four Brownings fixed to it and had the leader of the nearest formation to me in my sights. Both lines of the formation swept past between myself and the hangars. They were that close that I still think today that I could have thrown a stone and hit one or other of them. As it was, I opened fire and to my utter amazement watched a row of bullet holes ripping through the port wing right along the aileron section, the bullet holes travelling towards the fuselage. The formation was pulling out at just above hangar height. This particular Me 110 rolled slightly, never pulled out, and went straight in, I would say about fifty to seventy yards from my position. At the same time the Bofors guns were firing away and between my watching the one I was going for, the leader of the starboard formation broke in two at where the Gunner/Radio Operator sat. This happened just over the hangar which had been hit. Think I can say I witnessed the most amazing escape I was ever to see throughout my war service. As the aircraft broke in two so a body shot out horizontally and a parachute opened. How, I would never know, because it was impossible for this gunner to have opened it. The ’chute opened for that fraction of a second long enough for him to save his life as he fell to the ground in front of the remains of one of the hangars. The forward position of the aircraft hit the ground and scattered bits and pieces all over the ’drome. This I would say was a definite Bofors gun hit. Once again F/Lt Pritchard came across to speak to me on top of the firing butts. ‘How many rounds did you fire Townshend?’ I started to count the spent cartridge cases on the floor. I could not count all but estimated to him that it was in the region of 250-300 rounds. It was a rough guess. There was also an armoured car with a scarf-ring mounting fitted with, I believe, a .303 Vickers gas-operated gun somewhere behind the hangar area. I did read that a Corporal Clark was in this and shot one of the Me 110s down. This I would disclaim.
“In summing up these particular raids I would say that the vast majority of Station and Squadron were under cover in shelters etc.. I was in the grandstand seat and think that without doubt that I must be one of the very few who can give the exact details of what happened on 12th and 14th August 1940.
“I was on first readiness that night of the 14th August. I went across to the crew room to put my flying kit on and as we were not taking off for some time, I strolled across to where the Me 110 had gone straight in. The breakdown cranes were put in position to lift the tangled heap out. Our squadron doctor was on the scene along with others and on seeing me dressed for flying, asked what I was doing gazing at this lot. I told him that I wanted to see what was going to be pulled out. His reply was that I should not see it as it was not going to be a pleasant sight. I had to face up to the life we were leading and I had to harden myself to it all. I told him this and he understood. The crane had winched the wreckage up and it was hanging in mid-air. The doctor and some medical orderlies were busy cutting through the harness, which was holding the remains of the pilot in his seat. When they had cut through, they got the pilot’s body out. After it was put on a blanket, they opened-up the flying suit and from one of the pockets they found what I believe was a diary. I think I am correct in saying that there was an entry to the effect that this was the pilot’s first trip leading a formation. Yes, it did harden me, but I could not help but feel sad. I have often thought back, even these days. They were doing their job, as we had to do ours.”