Has this lad got a chant yet? Aware am inviting inevitable criticism but here's some suggestions...
He's big,
He's tall,
Wins every 'flippin' ball (or 'He's got it 'flippin' all')
Branthwaite, Branthwaite.
He went to PSV,
But now he's EFC.
Branthwaite, Branthwaite.
His touch,
His speed,
He's...