Summer Transfer Window 2019

Everton's Transfer Window

  • Good

    Votes: 394 49.0%
  • Alright

    Votes: 329 40.9%
  • Poor

    Votes: 81 10.1%

  • Total voters
    804
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Hello mein frandelinos and welcome to the first edition of the Weasel Index, Summer 2019.

View attachment 59164
Weasels in their natural environment, recording a podcast. Credit as usual to @Sapie88 from beyond the GOT grave.

Is it the unseasonably warm weather?

Is it that the King Goblin himself, James Pearce, has summoned them all with his Kopite scribblings and misappropriation of videos of Man City players, out of context and with the journalistic rigour of a typing pool intern?

More on Pearce (try this phonetically, it works too) as the summer progresses.

But.

We will never know why they have returned again.

But they have upset the transfer window lawn of GrandOldTeam.com and their mating calls can be heard throughout the land.

"Don't shoot the messenger".

"Heard from a mate who..."

"Just passing the info on"

"No wonder all the good ITKs leave".

Squawking. Chirping. Bleating. They are multiplying.

And now we must keep a record. An Index, if you will.

As ever, 10 points for a Weaseling (a rumour), accumulative until the end of the transfer window. Public. There for all to see.

But if the rumour is right, the Origin of the Weasel (the prime rumourer) goes directly onto The Mole10 Glory List (this might be renamed, I can't remember).

Many of you will remember @themole10 , unequivocally the greatest source of transfer rumours and by all accounts, an actual published journalist. Who was this daring servant of the people? Which year did he win the Pulitzer?

We may also never know this. But we know, instinctively, that the shoddy journalism of the hated lickspittle Pearce would have been anathema to him. So we honour his memory.


Weasel Index so far:

Dount Coun't on it - @TheCount says Andre Gomes a done deal https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/andre-gomes.104835/post-7041148

The only PED that @arminisgod likes is for cycle-cheating - but he's saying two strikers will join us on Tour this summer https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7028339

MalcomNigh? @SerenityNigh predicts the Barcelona winger joining soon https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7024984

Callum Wil-he, Won't he? Serial fibteller @royalblue66 reckons Callum Wilson is on his way https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/joão-pedro-sousa.107103/post-7035204

Talking bol-uks (I've done this one before)? @bol-uk is walking in Memphis, meet and greets on Stockton Heath https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7037198

Speaking of James (booo), an old favourite returns. James Rodriguez to fight it out with Dowell and Lookman next season. I'll @Azza a guess and say this one isn't happening. https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7024771

Kurt rustled? Zouma won't be coming home says @Chimpy Glassman https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-6925557

An early double rumour here - magic! @Wizard says Batshuayi IN Cenk OUT. Double points and excellent use of "take it or leave it" and "Will continue to pass on information that I trust though" . Actually that's a quadruple. https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7027995


Week One Index (won't actually be weekly as I'm too lazy)

1. @Wizard 40 Weasel Points
=2. @TheCount 10 Weasel Points
=2. @arminisgod 10 Weasel Points
=2. @SerenityNigh 10 Weasel Points
=2. @royalblue66 10 Weasel Points
=2. @bol-uk 10 Weasel Points
=2. @Azza 10 Weasel Points
=2. @Chimpy Glassman 10 Weasel Points

@themole10 Glory List

No confirmed signings and not a single Weasel called Lossl before the papers.

THE WEASEL INDEX NEEDS YOU!!

What was that, the nibbling on your ankle?

The squeak in the night?

The podcast in your ears?

As ever, we need our true GrandOldTeam.com heroes, the Weasel Hunters. You have waited. You have watched. And now, we call on you once more to serve.

We thank you for your service.
 
Lukaku
McCarthy
Barry
Deulofeu


??

Stop this nonsense.

Deulofeu is a substitute at Watford as he couldn’t make some of our worst ever premier league line ups.

The other two formed one of the worst Everton midfields I’ve ever seen after proper footballers like Pienaar and Osman were sidelined they both got exposed as the championship chumps they are.
 

Hello mein frandelinos and welcome to the first edition of the Weasel Index, Summer 2019.

View attachment 59164
Weasels in their natural environment, recording a podcast. Credit as usual to @Sapie88 from beyond the GOT grave.

Is it the unseasonably warm weather?

Is it that the King Goblin himself, James Pearce, has summoned them all with his Kopite scribblings and misappropriation of videos of Man City players, out of context and with the journalistic rigour of a typing pool intern?

More on Pearce (try this phonetically, it works too) as the summer progresses.

But.

We will never know why they have returned again.

But they have upset the transfer window lawn of GrandOldTeam.com and their mating calls can be heard throughout the land.

"Don't shoot the messenger".

"Heard from a mate who..."

"Just passing the info on"

"No wonder all the good ITKs leave".

Squawking. Chirping. Bleating. They are multiplying.

And now we must keep a record. An Index, if you will.

As ever, 10 points for a Weaseling (a rumour), accumulative until the end of the transfer window. Public. There for all to see.

But if the rumour is right, the Origin of the Weasel (the prime rumourer) goes directly onto The Mole10 Glory List (this might be renamed, I can't remember).

Many of you will remember @themole10 , unequivocally the greatest source of transfer rumours and by all accounts, an actual published journalist. Who was this daring servant of the people? Which year did he win the Pulitzer?

We may also never know this. But we know, instinctively, that the shoddy journalism of the hated lickspittle Pearce would have been anathema to him. So we honour his memory.


Weasel Index so far:

Dount Coun't on it - @TheCount says Andre Gomes a done deal https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/andre-gomes.104835/post-7041148

The only PED that @arminisgod likes is for cycle-cheating - but he's saying two strikers will join us on Tour this summer https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7028339

MalcomNigh? @SerenityNigh predicts the Barcelona winger joining soon https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7024984

Callum Wil-he, Won't he? Serial fibteller @royalblue66 reckons Callum Wilson is on his way https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/joão-pedro-sousa.107103/post-7035204

Talking bol-uks (I've done this one before)? @bol-uk is walking in Memphis, meet and greets on Stockton Heath https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7037198

Speaking of James (booo), an old favourite returns. James Rodriguez to fight it out with Dowell and Lookman next season. I'll @Azza a guess and say this one isn't happening. https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7024771

Kurt rustled? Zouma won't be coming home says @Chimpy Glassman https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-6925557

An early double rumour here - magic! @Wizard says Batshuayi IN Cenk OUT. Double points and excellent use of "take it or leave it" and "Will continue to pass on information that I trust though" . Actually that's a quadruple. https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/summer-transfer-window-2019.106084/post-7027995


Week One Index (won't actually be weekly as I'm too lazy)

1. @Wizard 40 Weasel Points
=2. @TheCount 10 Weasel Points
=2. @arminisgod 10 Weasel Points
=2. @SerenityNigh 10 Weasel Points
=2. @royalblue66 10 Weasel Points
=2. @bol-uk 10 Weasel Points
=2. @Azza 10 Weasel Points
=2. @Chimpy Glassman 10 Weasel Points

@themole10 Glory List

No confirmed signings and not a single Weasel called Lossl before the papers.

THE WEASEL INDEX NEEDS YOU!!

What was that, the nibbling on your ankle?

The squeak in the night?

The podcast in your ears?

As ever, we need our true GrandOldTeam.com heroes, the Weasel Hunters. You have waited. You have watched. And now, we call on you once more to serve.
I’ve waited all year for this.
 
Stop this nonsense.

Deulofeu is a substitute at Watford as he couldn’t make some of our worst ever premier league line ups.

The other two formed one of the worst Everton midfields I’ve ever seen after proper footballers like Pienaar and Osman were sidelined they both got exposed as the championship chumps they are.

Bit harsh on Barry that.
 
Stop this nonsense.

Deulofeu is a substitute at Watford as he couldn’t make some of our worst ever premier league line ups.

The other two formed one of the worst Everton midfields I’ve ever seen after proper footballers like Pienaar and Osman were sidelined they both got exposed as the championship chumps they are.
Imagine thinking Leon Osman is a 'proper footballer' and PL winning Gareth Barry isn't.

LUNACY.
 
Bit harsh on Barry that.

People forget how bad he was in 14/15 - 16/17. I still remember the derby under Koeman when we were in the game even slightly on top up to half time then McCarthy went off and Barry came on and it was like having ten men for the second half.

He was so slow towards the end he used to hold hands with the centre backs and leave acres of space for the opposition just to waltz around in.
 

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