My Football Diary
- Thread starter MickM86
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Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
Micks missus is foof deep in Spanish cock as we speak.
Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
"all that she wants, is another boaby" - ace of base (1993)
EFC David
Player Valuation: £30m
My diary from yesterday, went to the local pub about 12, never got served as I didn't have I.D ****ing livid, been going in there since I was 14 but new worker can **** off. I'm going to boycott it. Eventually got served in another pub. **** OFF NEW WORKER!!!! watched the game, thought City were slightly better. No shame. Went for a curry after it. I had a vindaloo. No pain no gain. Got legless, smoked a couple joints when I got home. Woke up rough.
ijjysmith
Calm
Good work mods.
orchard
Player Valuation: £60m
Oh yea, I forgot about that mate. Pat had this one covered as well ffs
Not bad that mate, plenty of drama, maybe a photo of said bartender for future reference might have helped us all out.
Stand down Mick, job's a good un
EFC David
Player Valuation: £30m
Not bad that mate, plenty of drama, maybe a photo of said bartender for future reference might have helped us all out.
Stand down Mick, job's a good un
She looked like Beth Twaddle or whatever her name is.
As she was going to the hairdressers, I left her house after waking at 8:30 with the time of being picked up at 9:30 so I had an hour to be ready. I managed to be ready but didn't have time for my usual morning porridge so had to have a quick protein shake. I made my way outside to see if she was there, no sign. I went back inside and called her, no answer. I went back outside as I thought she may be driving here, still no sign along the road so went back inside. My phone had a missed call from her so I phoned back, it rang out and went straight to voicemail. I hung up and seconds later she called, I let it ring three rings before casually answering "hellooooo" she explained she was on her way as she' only dropped her mum off at the MOT garage. When she arrived at mine it was 9:43, her appointment was 10 and she still needed to go to the cashpoint! I left the house wearing tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, in my openness pockets I had my match ticket, car keys, money, bank card, eye drops and phone so you could imagine how full my pockets were. I got into the car and enjoyed my final time with my girl for a week. She dropped me of along Rice Lane by Walton prison and I waved her off as she made her way to Bootle. I walked along towards Walton to my pick up point and done a quick check of my pockets to make sure I had everything. Wait! Something was missing! Where are my car keys? Noooooo! I don't need this right now! Are they in her car I wondered? They must be, they have to be! I remembered locking the front door but did I drop them in transit on the grass on the way to the car? I wouldn't have known as the grass will be soft. My mind wracked with worry, I made my way to a cafe to order some pasta and tuna for my day out. £3.70! I could've made it for less! I headed towards the pick up point and sent her a text to check her car ASAP! She never got back to me and my calls were goin straight to answer machine. I boarded the bus and tried to take my mind off the situation with pre-match Everton talk but all the lads wanted to do was smoke spliffs, sniff coke and drink alcohol. I happily sat with my carrier bag of tuna pasta and a glass bottle of j20 orange. We were on the m602 not far from the streets of Manchester and another dilemma entered my head. When shall I eat this pasta? I didn't feel like it now so half time would be a good time. But what if they refuse me entry into the stadium with it? What if they make me eat it at the front of the queue of Evertonians? I needed to make a snap decision and by this time we were not far from the stadium. The lads were in full voice and I decided to eat my pasta now! I finished it as we parked up the bus and entered the queue before we were sniffed by a sniffer dog and searched by a nice Scottish man who happened to be a steward, I think. I entered the stadium with ten minutes to go and wondered if I had time for a quick wee? Yes! I've got plenty of time! I headed into the toilets a quiet corner, I tried to release but there was a man who was smoking and the smell was disrupting my concentration. I looked at him as if to say "come on mate, do we have to do this now?" Eventually I urinated and made my way to my seat. I checked my phone again but still no text or call. I sent a message "Have you had chance to look?" My mind proceeded to think about my car being stolen and needed to forget about it as the boys of Everton ran out against a City side that was named with sheer quality. The Match kicked off and I couldn't help but worry about my keys! Michael, you are here for Everton! Focus on the game!
The match was truly under way and Romelu Lukaku put us 1-0 up after turning Lescott and slotting past Joe Hart. City came back strong and we all know the end result and for more of a match discussion you will see my views in the match thread. During the game my bird text "yes, your keys are here, I will leave them in mine" relief emerged over me and I could relax and study the game. There was chanting between both sets of fans and some witty chants coming from the City section. "Joleon Lescott, he does what he wants" after Lescott had the referee stop the game so Joe Hart could reach into his net and get him some fluids. Flabbergasted! The game ended and a few Everton fans were pissed off with the City jibes next to us and tempers flared. We walked out and made our way back to the bus. Few of the lads never got in and had to go to a local pub to watch it. They were happy enough. We made our way home and I stopped off at the pub having a j20 orange before finding a bus stop to get the bus towards home. There was no seats on the bus right away so I stood at the front, everyone was looking at me, why? Is it because I'm standing up on the bus? A seat became free and I sat in front of a couple who were talking about being off their faces the night before and wishing they'd knocked someone out. I got off the bus with a ten minute walk towards my girlfriends house were I had to walk to to pick up my car keys. Her mum give me the keys and dropped me off home. I got in and sat on my bed, "phew! What a crazy day!" The last thing I'd ate was pasta and that was about six hours ago! I went to tesco to pick up some chicken and pasta and on the way back to the car I walked into dominos. Hmmmm, a small pizza will do. I ordered a pizza with all kinds of meat on it, the lady said it was £5.99 so I went to the car to get money, leaving my tesco bag in the shop. A young couple walked into dominos and looked at my carrier bag quite odd, I walked back in and shouted "it's a bomb!" They just blank stared at me and I thought "ok" and waited for my pizza. I got home and watched eastenders on BBC I player before match of the day. Oh what a day!
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