The Late Show...With Your Host, Cena

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Baines' left foot said:
Got a wee problem here.

Right, so my mate and his girlfriend came back from London this weekend as it was his birthday. I saw them on Friday night as I picked them up from the train station and was talking about going out the following night (last night). I didn't get a text or call all day and couldn't get through to anyone, didn't think much of it. I fell asleep in the evening until about 11pm. I woke up thinking SH*T, yet no calls or texts. I turned my phone off and then on again and then a few missed calls and texts came through. Obviously my phone is utter wank. By this time though I was sweaty as [Poor language removed] for falling asleep with the heating on and wasn't at all ready, so I swerved it.

I feel terrible now though and I'm really not sure how to excuse myself.
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Don't fake your own death, we don't want to lose you. Throw yourself down the stairs from about half way to give you enough injuries to make it look like you were robbed, then e-mail them to say you cant text as your phone was robbed and you're really sorry about not making it.

Failing that tell him his mrs made you feel uncomfortable by making you touch her special place when you last saw them.
 


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