If only....

[billycopper]

I've just read that Jelavic (15) has been caught offside more times than any other player in the Premier League.

Add that to the fact that...

• We've hit the woodwork more times than any other side in the division...
• We've had more shots (218 as of 14th Nov) than any of our rivals...
• Baines has created more chances than any other player in the top European leagues...
• We could have had another 3 points if the ref hadn't made mistakes in the Newcastle, Wigan and Liverpool games..

If we were even a fraction more clinical and we'd had a little more luck we could be at least matching United and City.

 

[bluejock]

If your granny had baws, she'd be your grandad.

Don't let it bug you pal.

 

[noharmdone]

Only cos Saha hasn't started for Makems mate.. Always offside.

Don't go on about hitting the woodwork, I hated that last season with the reds..

Jelavic is fine.

 

[Steven Naismith]

Jelavic is fine, no worries about him. He'll get going soon enough, but these things even them selves out , don't they?
IMO we haven't even got going this season yet apart from 2/3 really good half performances, when we hit our top potential form and were "on our day" as well as Felli and Jelavic bossing games, I fear no one

 

[billycopper]

Twelve times we've hit the frame of the goal at the last count.

By most stats we look like either the most attacking, most cavalier or most wasteful team in Europe!

 

[bluejock]

We probably are the most attacking side in the league right now, which unfortunately leaves us more open at the back and more prone to conceding sh*te goals.

 

[tommye]

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

 

[Steven Naismith]

Isn't that a mike basset speech?

 

[bluejock]

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Rep this please. Fantastic Kipling segue.

 

[SpeedEFC]

Hitting the post is just as bad as missing then have the ball go out for a throw in for me, if the shot isn't going in the goal it's not worth talking about. I just hope Everton pull their finger out and stop giving us the excuse of moaning about bad luck, I'm a firm believer in making your own luck and even though it would be nice to get a helping hand from the officials now and again we should be blaming no one but ourselves for the recent slump in performances. Don't worry though, once our boss slotter remembers where he left his shooting boots we'll be back on track and wondering why we were worried about this recent blip.

 

[Azzurri]

if only if only,
the wood pecker sighs,
the bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,
as the wolf waits below
hungry and lonely,
he cries to the moo-oo-oon
if only if only.

 

[bluejock]

if only if only,
the wood pecker sighs,
the bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,
as the wolf waits below
hungry and lonely,
he cries to the moo-oo-oon
if only if only.

Never heard this but I like it. Rep this too please, fans of words.

 

[noharmdone]

I hope Jelavic is reading this thread.. Defo slot if he is.

 

[bluejock]

Slot Niki you angle faced, boss slotting, otter slotter.

 

[DanEFC92]

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

England will be playing 4-4-f*cking-2