In every season there’s defining games with different outcomes. Some games are a springboard for better times and some cruelly sap every last bit of purpose out of you. The benefit of hindsight allows you to isolate those games and mull over them.
We don’t need hindsight for this though; we know how important it really is.
It’s a game of opportunity and such things at St Domingo’s make us a little twitchy as we have an annoying habit of passing them over.
The league isn’t over but we’ll probably finish where we deserve anywhere from fifth to eighth. Those Champions League little daydreams we were having are probably going to have to be deferred for another season at least. The oldest cup competition in the world still holds a strong pull for Everton as we’ve had some boss times in it and it’s usually signalled better times for us.
It’s the third of five consecutive home games for us and we’ve won the first two, maybe not too convincingly as we liked but last time out there was some green shoots of recovery as Everton finally went for the throat of someone.
If we was from somewhere sh*te then this would be a local derby as Wigan are barely twenty miles down the East Lancs, M58 or M6 depending on where you are. There’s no aminosity between the clubs or fans as a lot of us don’t mind them at all and we have plenty of support from those parts. The acceptable face of woolism is something they should be proud of.
Being too nice to them would be a condescending pat on the head for Wigan which I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate so we’ll focus on some of their niches, or downright weird things for those wanting a bit of background on our opponents. In these two paragraphs we’ll swerve the pie thing or it gives me a free run on us wearing trackies and having muzzies.
Most people’s experience of Wigan comes from a few different source. Being pulled to Wigan Pier on particularly unenthusiastic day trips from school are one. Having to change at Wigan Northwestern for trains heading north are another and the third is banging a Wigan girl which is a prerequisite for growing up within a thirty miles radius of there.
For many of us they’re our mars, our sisters, our wives but scouse girls present a problem in that the pyjama wearing Fanta skinned fascists are as sound girls as you’ll find but trying to nail them between the ages of 17 and 26 is a bit difficult. You see like one of them weird tropical birds of Madagascar trying to get their end away you really have to work for it. Some food and drinks, acceptance from their mates and family, sufficiently hiding your [Poor language removed] side for a period of time is the only way to get in there.
Thankfully Mother Geography gave us two gift alternatives, the Wirral girls and the Wool girls. The Wirral girls sound like our version but aren’t so into Gucci and give out. The wool girls aren’t into Gucci at all but instead binge drinking, cheap pop music and getting rooted all over the show. Uncomplicated, pleasant creatures who have been dealt a bad hand by having to mate with gel headed, dull speaking, XR2i driving wool males. It never lasts due to cultural differences ultimately but it’s a meeting of two worlds that most of us have dabbled in and came out a better man for it. Reet mucky.
Wigan’s fans are not battling some sworn sh*t town enemy like Blackburn and Burnley but have the enemy within their own town in the form of Rugby League fans. A mate from there once tried to explain it to me but I’d bore you unnecessarily further. They really don’t like each other though. I side with the football lids as I can’t work out Rugby League. It’s a game played by fat headed steroided beauts who run into each other dead fast for eighty minutes. Like some really sh*te wool version of British Bulldog. I can remember Ellery Hanley being boss on Grandstand but Rugby Union seems to have loads more to it. League is like the American version of it with a bit of Gladiators thrown in for good measure.
There’s a whole school of thought on Roberto Martinez being the man to replace Moyes when/if he does depart these shores. I can see both sides of the argument as he’s done well with what he’s got at Wigan and is thoroughly nice chap but then his Wigan teams do have a propensity for being spanked by average teams like last week’s four nil reversal at home to the sh*te.
During the week there have been mixed messages about what type of team Wigan will put out. In previous rounds they’ve done an Arsenal and fielded their fringe players to keep their usual players fresh for the league with Martinez prioritises. It’s a possibility but I just can’t see anyone swerving the opportunity of getting to a semi-final at Wembley, especially in Wigan’s case if you’ve never ever achieved it before. It’s a game where Goodison needs to be at it’s angry snarling hostile best because there’s a real chance of our collective anxiety transmitting from the stands to the players which we need to swerve. Remember the atmosphere outside Goodison after the Middlesbrough quarter final a couple of years ago? Let’s have some more of that.
They’ve got some decent player and some cack ones so with being so unsure of the line-up I’ll focus on the ones who could do our heads in. The forward Kone falls firmly into this bracket. He is the perfect Heitinga kryptonite of pace, power and direct running. He gave our Dutch ex ace defender a torrid time earlier in the season hopefully Distin sticks to him or Heitinga wakes up from his season long slumber. Di Santo will be up there too and he splits opinion. Sometimes he looks like a very good target man with no mean skill and other times he looks like a striker who scores six goals a season. Which he usually does in fairness.
Like a 3am comedown presenter on Europe MTV, Paul Scharner will be there and with the scent of Everton in his nostrils. The [Poor language removed] is usually good for a goal against us and I thought we’d swerve him but he’s back at Wigan and will need to marked on set pieces into the box. It’s frustrating as he’s crap but some players have lucky teams and we’re unfortunately his.
McArthur is the man who makes them tick in the middle. He does nothing spectacular, a la Darron Gibson, but if allowed time on the ball he probes and passes Wigan into a better team. They’ve got a credible threat from the wings in Maloney and Beaseujour so we’ll need Baines and Coleman to be at their best and keep them pinned the [Poor language removed] right back.
Defence is absolute tosh but you knew that from their position in the league and shipping four goals at home to Liverpool. Caldwell MOM all over this like. Decent keeper in Al Habsi.
Phew. Everton it is then.
Moyes said he can see signs of Jelavic getting back to his best which I'm struggling to see. He needs taken out of the first team for a few games for me, play Anichebe or someone else there for the time being. Hopefully he’ll come good again.
Fellaini’s header was catnip to blues in the Reading game. We’ve got a long history of forwards throwing their head at the ball in the opposition’s box and taking one of two defenders out with them. Better first half from him, we’ll need him for this.
Mirallas was one of the stand out performers. Due to injury and feeling his way back in we’ve missed that kind of energy that he brings. He’s like a nine year old playing FIFA with a load of tricks which he stumbles on sometimes by accidents but when they do come off and he gets his confidence up then he’s a player of genuine class. Nice finish too.
A big highlight was the second half performance of Pienaar who ran the show. You could see the difference as he twigged he was on form and was demanding the ball and doing something productive with it every time he got it. This was prompted by a switch from the left to the right to play with Coleman. Mirallas then shined on the left. Which sort of makes sense doesn’t it? Any blue worth his or her salt knows that were ace when we have a Kevin on left and Steven on the right. Gibson is carrying his injury but was a bit more effective and Osman continued to be very average in the middle.
The injury to Jagielka is a blow because he’s been the one central defender who’s consistently played well all season but now’s Heitinga’s chance. With his contract running down it might be his last one too. It just increases my anxiety levels a bit with him and Distin in the middle for as much as I like them they are prone to a [Poor language removed] up each every couple of games.
Coleman is one of the real success stories of the season. He’s really starting to develop into a very good right back, if Baines could recapture some of his usual form then we’ve got two very talented full backs indeed and when was the last time you could say that? Mucha – with his head like a harvest moon – made some decent saves and may start again but you and I both know he’d a headf*ck moment away from costing us a game and Howard being shoehorned right back in.
It was a quarter final twelve years ago which signalled change and the start of Moyes’ time at Everton. Defeat in this tie and with our last avenue of success firmly closed could signal the final months of his time with us too.
This is no place for doom and gloom though; it’s a home tie against a poor Wigan team. Win this and were two games from a too long wait for a trophy with a day or two at Wembley thrown in for good measure. It’s painful slipping into our best of the rest jumpsuit that the media have stitched nicely for us. We’re not the best of the rest though, were Everton and we have a history of winning things. Any player in royal blue on Saturday who leaves anything on that beautiful green pitch has let themselves and club down.
Get the [Poor language removed] right into these Everton so I can tell me mar, me mar.
We don’t need hindsight for this though; we know how important it really is.
It’s a game of opportunity and such things at St Domingo’s make us a little twitchy as we have an annoying habit of passing them over.
The league isn’t over but we’ll probably finish where we deserve anywhere from fifth to eighth. Those Champions League little daydreams we were having are probably going to have to be deferred for another season at least. The oldest cup competition in the world still holds a strong pull for Everton as we’ve had some boss times in it and it’s usually signalled better times for us.
It’s the third of five consecutive home games for us and we’ve won the first two, maybe not too convincingly as we liked but last time out there was some green shoots of recovery as Everton finally went for the throat of someone.
If we was from somewhere sh*te then this would be a local derby as Wigan are barely twenty miles down the East Lancs, M58 or M6 depending on where you are. There’s no aminosity between the clubs or fans as a lot of us don’t mind them at all and we have plenty of support from those parts. The acceptable face of woolism is something they should be proud of.
Being too nice to them would be a condescending pat on the head for Wigan which I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate so we’ll focus on some of their niches, or downright weird things for those wanting a bit of background on our opponents. In these two paragraphs we’ll swerve the pie thing or it gives me a free run on us wearing trackies and having muzzies.
Most people’s experience of Wigan comes from a few different source. Being pulled to Wigan Pier on particularly unenthusiastic day trips from school are one. Having to change at Wigan Northwestern for trains heading north are another and the third is banging a Wigan girl which is a prerequisite for growing up within a thirty miles radius of there.
For many of us they’re our mars, our sisters, our wives but scouse girls present a problem in that the pyjama wearing Fanta skinned fascists are as sound girls as you’ll find but trying to nail them between the ages of 17 and 26 is a bit difficult. You see like one of them weird tropical birds of Madagascar trying to get their end away you really have to work for it. Some food and drinks, acceptance from their mates and family, sufficiently hiding your [Poor language removed] side for a period of time is the only way to get in there.
Thankfully Mother Geography gave us two gift alternatives, the Wirral girls and the Wool girls. The Wirral girls sound like our version but aren’t so into Gucci and give out. The wool girls aren’t into Gucci at all but instead binge drinking, cheap pop music and getting rooted all over the show. Uncomplicated, pleasant creatures who have been dealt a bad hand by having to mate with gel headed, dull speaking, XR2i driving wool males. It never lasts due to cultural differences ultimately but it’s a meeting of two worlds that most of us have dabbled in and came out a better man for it. Reet mucky.
Wigan’s fans are not battling some sworn sh*t town enemy like Blackburn and Burnley but have the enemy within their own town in the form of Rugby League fans. A mate from there once tried to explain it to me but I’d bore you unnecessarily further. They really don’t like each other though. I side with the football lids as I can’t work out Rugby League. It’s a game played by fat headed steroided beauts who run into each other dead fast for eighty minutes. Like some really sh*te wool version of British Bulldog. I can remember Ellery Hanley being boss on Grandstand but Rugby Union seems to have loads more to it. League is like the American version of it with a bit of Gladiators thrown in for good measure.
There’s a whole school of thought on Roberto Martinez being the man to replace Moyes when/if he does depart these shores. I can see both sides of the argument as he’s done well with what he’s got at Wigan and is thoroughly nice chap but then his Wigan teams do have a propensity for being spanked by average teams like last week’s four nil reversal at home to the sh*te.
During the week there have been mixed messages about what type of team Wigan will put out. In previous rounds they’ve done an Arsenal and fielded their fringe players to keep their usual players fresh for the league with Martinez prioritises. It’s a possibility but I just can’t see anyone swerving the opportunity of getting to a semi-final at Wembley, especially in Wigan’s case if you’ve never ever achieved it before. It’s a game where Goodison needs to be at it’s angry snarling hostile best because there’s a real chance of our collective anxiety transmitting from the stands to the players which we need to swerve. Remember the atmosphere outside Goodison after the Middlesbrough quarter final a couple of years ago? Let’s have some more of that.
They’ve got some decent player and some cack ones so with being so unsure of the line-up I’ll focus on the ones who could do our heads in. The forward Kone falls firmly into this bracket. He is the perfect Heitinga kryptonite of pace, power and direct running. He gave our Dutch ex ace defender a torrid time earlier in the season hopefully Distin sticks to him or Heitinga wakes up from his season long slumber. Di Santo will be up there too and he splits opinion. Sometimes he looks like a very good target man with no mean skill and other times he looks like a striker who scores six goals a season. Which he usually does in fairness.
Like a 3am comedown presenter on Europe MTV, Paul Scharner will be there and with the scent of Everton in his nostrils. The [Poor language removed] is usually good for a goal against us and I thought we’d swerve him but he’s back at Wigan and will need to marked on set pieces into the box. It’s frustrating as he’s crap but some players have lucky teams and we’re unfortunately his.
McArthur is the man who makes them tick in the middle. He does nothing spectacular, a la Darron Gibson, but if allowed time on the ball he probes and passes Wigan into a better team. They’ve got a credible threat from the wings in Maloney and Beaseujour so we’ll need Baines and Coleman to be at their best and keep them pinned the [Poor language removed] right back.
Defence is absolute tosh but you knew that from their position in the league and shipping four goals at home to Liverpool. Caldwell MOM all over this like. Decent keeper in Al Habsi.
Phew. Everton it is then.
Moyes said he can see signs of Jelavic getting back to his best which I'm struggling to see. He needs taken out of the first team for a few games for me, play Anichebe or someone else there for the time being. Hopefully he’ll come good again.
Fellaini’s header was catnip to blues in the Reading game. We’ve got a long history of forwards throwing their head at the ball in the opposition’s box and taking one of two defenders out with them. Better first half from him, we’ll need him for this.
Mirallas was one of the stand out performers. Due to injury and feeling his way back in we’ve missed that kind of energy that he brings. He’s like a nine year old playing FIFA with a load of tricks which he stumbles on sometimes by accidents but when they do come off and he gets his confidence up then he’s a player of genuine class. Nice finish too.
A big highlight was the second half performance of Pienaar who ran the show. You could see the difference as he twigged he was on form and was demanding the ball and doing something productive with it every time he got it. This was prompted by a switch from the left to the right to play with Coleman. Mirallas then shined on the left. Which sort of makes sense doesn’t it? Any blue worth his or her salt knows that were ace when we have a Kevin on left and Steven on the right. Gibson is carrying his injury but was a bit more effective and Osman continued to be very average in the middle.
The injury to Jagielka is a blow because he’s been the one central defender who’s consistently played well all season but now’s Heitinga’s chance. With his contract running down it might be his last one too. It just increases my anxiety levels a bit with him and Distin in the middle for as much as I like them they are prone to a [Poor language removed] up each every couple of games.
Coleman is one of the real success stories of the season. He’s really starting to develop into a very good right back, if Baines could recapture some of his usual form then we’ve got two very talented full backs indeed and when was the last time you could say that? Mucha – with his head like a harvest moon – made some decent saves and may start again but you and I both know he’d a headf*ck moment away from costing us a game and Howard being shoehorned right back in.
It was a quarter final twelve years ago which signalled change and the start of Moyes’ time at Everton. Defeat in this tie and with our last avenue of success firmly closed could signal the final months of his time with us too.
This is no place for doom and gloom though; it’s a home tie against a poor Wigan team. Win this and were two games from a too long wait for a trophy with a day or two at Wembley thrown in for good measure. It’s painful slipping into our best of the rest jumpsuit that the media have stitched nicely for us. We’re not the best of the rest though, were Everton and we have a history of winning things. Any player in royal blue on Saturday who leaves anything on that beautiful green pitch has let themselves and club down.
Get the [Poor language removed] right into these Everton so I can tell me mar, me mar.
