Dundee Utd v Everton, Wednesday 18th July, 19:45 KO

[Scottish Toffee]

Dundee is an utter hole wi 2 football teams (one who are shoite) who should merge as the town is not big enough for 2 teams. I like to call this me Hajj - get it up ye yous Dundee scum). All hail the mighty Arabs and their title winning team of 82 - Tangerines hu Akbar.

The oil rigs in the North Sea are more developed than Dundee, I couldn't believe it on ma first trip oot there, they had a Maccy D's ffs. Yous know, GTA is based on the lives of the average Dundonian. Aye, too feckin right it is. Me mate Ruaridh is the inspiration for GTA 4 so yeah. Also, we are famous for Jam, Jute and Journalism so yeah.

The women are skanks and filfthy so dinnae go tae Fat Sams otherwise you'll end up like Gary Glitter only worse or yous might have a wee wan running after you in 9 months time to crush your hopes and dreams just as Everton win the league. I maself know only too well the perils of slipping a couple o didge on the dancefloor and where it can lead as I am currently the father of 18 wee gobshoites by 18 different mas.

Enjoy the pleasures of this wonderful town you Sassenachs! I'll see you in Fat Sams you beauties.

Spot on mate!

 

[bluejock]

Preview up now

 

[Bigmaclad]

Those pies look wonderful

 

[Goat]

Those pies look wonderful

I thought they look a bit rank, dirty even.

 

[LTblue]

Is it wrong that I can't see beyond Paul Hogan when I hear Dundee? literally every time I think about this game I can only think about Rodwell in our new kit and then Paul Hogan.

 

[bluejock]

I thought they look a bit rank, dirty even.

This was the emotion I was trying to portray.

Tell you what though, half time on a freezing cold February night with a cup of bovril? Fantastico.

 

[Goat]

This was the emotion I was trying to portray.

Tell you what though, half time on a freezing cold February night with a cup of bovril? Fantastico.

I didnt say I wouldnt eat them lad, its food after all.

 

[bluejock]

Hahaha

 

[bluejock]

Spot on mate!

That is disturbingly accurate.

 

[Bigmaclad]

I thought they look a bit rank, dirty even.

Bet they still taste good!

 

[EFCNIKE]

Keep an eye out for a boy called Gary Mackay-Steven, a pacy winger with a good cross, an eye for goal and a propensity for pulling off ridiculous tricks like this.

Where's the Mackay-Steven money, Bill?

 

[bluejock]

Where's the Mackay-Steven money, Bill?

Honestly think the kid has what it takes to play in the Premier League. Not right away but I'd sign him and send him on load to the Championship for a season, maybe two.

 

[EFCNIKE]

Honestly think the kid has what it takes to play in the Premier League. Not right away but I'd sign him and send him on load to the Championship for a season, maybe two.

I'm all for flair players as we've none.

 

[LTblue]

I'm all for flair players as we've none.

*sighs* Baines, Fellaini, Osman, Barkley and Pienaar(when he signs) are all major flair players. It can also be argued that Gibson can produce an inventive pass or two.

 

[EFCNIK]

Oh ffs. I saw EFCNIKE's posts and thought 'I haven't posted in.....WAAAAAAITTTTTT A MINNUUTTTEEE FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU'