Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[BiggyRat]

Lost my nan. Lost my family, lost my home and I may lose my job. 2016 can [Poor language removed] right off.

If you're still following Everton then you haven't lost your sense of humour!

(But I wholeheartedly agree about 2016. Time to move on I think...bring December forward)

 

[Sunderland afc]

Lost my nan. Lost my family, lost my home and I may lose my job. 2016 can [Poor language removed] right off.

Hope you can turn it around.

 

[hallamblue]

Been informed today that we are going through our 4th service review in six years.

Trying to stay positive but by God it's hard. Trying to put on a brave face when inside I'm going through hell.

Survived the last three of course and confident in my ability again but the interviews etc are like hell on earth. Determined not to let this get me down and going to throw myself in my writing to take me to other places where I can hopefullly forget all about the review.

You've survived the last 3 because you're good at your job. I'm currently on the other side of the fence, having to lay people off. Take it from me, if you are good at your job and a hard worker they will be desperate not to lay you off.

 

[COYBL25]

Hello all

Just thought I'd throw my tuppence worth in, although I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve. I've been suffering from what I think is depression for a few months now. It seems to have been building for a while as I've been unhappy in many areas of my life - with work, relationships and with the world in general - for some time. It all really began to manifest itself a few months ago when I started having problems sleeping, and more recently everything seemed to just hit me: out of nowhere, I suddenly felt anxious over seeing people, even my girlfriend, and found that when I was putting myself into social situations I had a strange feeling of being overwhelmed. Really difficult to put my finger on, but I just didn't feel comfortable or at ease. I was finding it difficult to relax and talk; I felt nervous as I was speaking. My GP had by this point signed me off with an acute stress reaction, linked to several stress-points in my life that I had made her aware of. I've refused medication so far, and gradually began to feel a little bit better a few weeks back, but then all of a sudden again, I felt like I'd been hit for six.

As mentioned, I've felt unhappy with my relationships - for example, whilst I still have my circle of friends from my school days, increasingly over the last few years I've felt that we have less and less in common, we rarely socialise and although on the odd occasion that we do socialise we have a grin, I've began to feel isolated and in many respects lonely. Also, I have come to feel that I don't 'fit in' as much any more, either because those I'm tending to socialise with now are friends of my closest friends (i.e. not really my mates) and have different interests to me, and/or most of them take drugs, and I stopped taking any over 10 years ago. It often feels like I'm the odd one out, struggling to keep up with everybody.

More importantly, I have had a nagging feeling that my relationship with my girlfriend has no future - and if I'm completely honest, I even entered into the relationship feeling that we weren't right for each other. Nevertheless, we've been together for near 7 years (!), but increasingly I've felt down about our relationship and felt a sense of 'distance' that I think has been exacerbated by her chronic addiction to her phone...I'm sure many of you recognise that modern day problem. I was beginning to feel really down about our relationship, unbeknownst to her, and literally had a breakdown last week: I was awake all night thinking and then in the morning, after she'd left for work, I had a complete meltdown: floods of tears, feeling of utter despair, guilt, a tsunami of negativity. We've agreed to spend time apart, and now I'm struggling to 'move on', as it were. After seven years of spending almost all of my time with my girlfriend, seeing my mates occasionally and feeling 'drifted' from them anyway, I suddenly find myself now, in my mid 30s, with no real relationships I value, a job which I can't stand and no idea where to start to change my situation. I am overthinking things again, judging myself as pretty useless and thinking that everybody else who knows me probably thinks the same.

All in all, it's a pretty [Poor language removed] time at the minute - I'm trying to keep my mind occupied as much as possible with things I (sort of) enjoy doing, but those little waves of negativity and depression are never far from lapping at the shore. I'm going to try and exercise a bit more (currently go through the motions when I go to the gym) and continue to try and use mindfulness and meditation techniques to try and recognise that the thoughts are just that: thoughts. I understand they don't objectively mean anything, but I still struggle a lot of the time to recognise that.

Sorry to have rambled on. Maybe what I've been going through resonates with some of you. All the best.

Hi mate.

What you are describing there is almost text book " General Anxiety Condition " G.A.D.

You've become locked in a cycle of anxiety, where everything little thing you do worries you and sends your anxiety levels through the roof on an almost permanent basis.

There doesn't have to be a reason for it happening, it can happen to anyone, almost creeps up on you unnoticed, Normally hiding behind depression.

One of the most common symptoms is to what I'd describe is turning every little thing into a major event and worrying about it before it even happens - a social event for example.

Have a look at " Cortisol ". This is a naturally occouring chemical in the brain, which under normal conditions is released during the waking process. However it's also released as part of the " fight or flight " process - during moments of anxiety / fear.

It could be that because your anxious all time that your body is producing too much of this chemical and the effect is almost to turbo charge your anxiety.

The key to treating anxiety imo, is to understand it first and then try to treat the symptoms.

Things like Coffee deffo make it worse, as does Ale the day after - " The Fear ".

Look at Cortisol and what it does / how it does it. This may help explain what's going on with you and help you understand / treat it.

Also there's a great NHS run forum - Mentalhealth.org, that has whole threads on GAD and you can great advice on there too.

GAD is one of the most common forms of anxiety going mate and I wager that you know someone within your circle of family and freinds who has it and is hiding it.

 

[upthetoffees]

Just wanted to introduce myself on this thread, which is actually what I initially discovered this forum through, on twitter. I've dealt with depression/generalized anxiety for as long in my life as I can remember. It's been hard for me to maintain relationships and friendships. I feel sometimes it's only getting worse, and then I'll have a good day. Those good days are what keep me putting my feet on the floor every morning and standing up. It's almost easier to discuss all this with some sort of anonymity, so that's why I'm here.

I may not be the best person to talk to for advice, but I can tell you the truth, and sometimes that goes further than anything else. This thread is super important on a forum like this, where at the end of the day we all bond over a sport and a team that we all love with all of our hearts. There's not a Toffee I know that isn't 100% committed and die hard. I'm glad to see that's being channeled in a way such as this.

Thanks guys.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Lost my nan. Lost my family, lost my home and I may lose my job. 2016 can [Poor language removed] right off.

So sorry. Don't know what to say to you. But sending hugs x

 

[COYBL25]

Lost my nan. Lost my family, lost my home and I may lose my job. 2016 can [Poor language removed] right off.

What's happening with work mate ?

I resigned from a job that I'd done for twenty years in 2007 after it made me ill in the end.

I thought it was the end of the world at the time, but it wasn't mate. No matter how bad you think things are you'll get through them and come out the other side a better person. I genuinely mean that mate and if you want to PM me, please don't hesitate.

 

[artetas sock]

Just so you know guys and guyesses!

You can and will get over this.

Going through another mini crisis myself, but believe me, once you've got through one you can then see the next one coming.

I'm not saying it's easy, but keep visiting this thread, there are lots of empathetic people on here going through the same thing.

Keep strong, you have more positives than negatives, but deep down you know that.

Give me a message privately anytime.

 

[Twinkletoes123]

I have been lurking on here for well over a year but finding it extremely difficult to post myself. I am not a great talker and normally suffer alone but there are so many helpful, inspirational posters on here that make me feel not alone. I have been struggling for years with anxiety and depression which stems from being sexually assaulted years ago, At the age of 14, which I kept to myself. I never told anyone about it until I met my husband 9 years ago, he took it quite badly and made me report it at the police station, which was traumatic. I just want to forget it but it won't go away as certain things trigger which sends me into a downward spiral. I spoke to the doctor as I have been having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks and was prescribed citalopram. I am in a constant battle and the only person I will speak to but we both find it difficult is my husband as I have no other family apart from my daughter. I am sorry if I haven't put myself across well, and for rambling.

 

[Armel]

I have been lurking on here for well over a year but finding it extremely difficult to post myself. I am not a great talker and normally suffer alone but there are so many helpful, inspirational posters on here that make me feel not alone. I have been struggling for years with anxiety and depression which stems from being sexually assaulted years ago, At the age of 14, which I kept to myself. I never told anyone about it until I met my husband 9 years ago, he took it quite badly and made me report it at the police station, which was traumatic. I just want to forget it but it won't go away as certain things trigger which sends me into a downward spiral. I spoke to the doctor as I have been having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks and was prescribed citalopram. I am in a constant battle and the only person I will speak to but we both find it difficult is my husband as I have no other family apart from my daughter. I am sorry if I haven't put myself across well, and for rambling.

Very good of you to post. I sympathize with the talking part; strangely enough on here I suddenly write lengthy posts. Post loads of other posts here.

It seems to me you suffer from PTSD, if that's the case you should really really see a therapist or such (even more important than your medication). I hear Cognitive behavioral Therapy and EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) work really well. However these kind of therapies re-expose you to the traumatic event. I've heard that there is also something like somatic experiencing. There you don't have to relive the trauma; but it also sort of works. Don't know how it works.

Oh what also helps me you're not your thoughts or such; that's just an illness. You're still you. Also thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts create emotions though; this is something that you have to learn to cope with.

I found your post very clear btw.

PS: I sort of like every post on here. It's a supportive like. Off course I don't like negative things happening to people. It's my acknowledgement of having read your post. I hope people recover and I wish them well; that's sort of how my likes work.

 

[hallamblue]

I have been lurking on here for well over a year but finding it extremely difficult to post myself. I am not a great talker and normally suffer alone but there are so many helpful, inspirational posters on here that make me feel not alone. I have been struggling for years with anxiety and depression which stems from being sexually assaulted years ago, At the age of 14, which I kept to myself. I never told anyone about it until I met my husband 9 years ago, he took it quite badly and made me report it at the police station, which was traumatic. I just want to forget it but it won't go away as certain things trigger which sends me into a downward spiral. I spoke to the doctor as I have been having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks and was prescribed citalopram. I am in a constant battle and the only person I will speak to but we both find it difficult is my husband as I have no other family apart from my daughter. I am sorry if I haven't put myself across well, and for rambling.

I would really recommend speaking to a counsellor. They won't judge, you don't have to be careful what you say or consider anyone else's feelings, and it can be a huge release of tension in my experience.

 

[Twinkletoes123]

Thank you both, what's stopped me from counselling is the talking and re-living what happened. My mum always told me to talk about things but I'm a more keep them all locked inside person, when I have tried to talk about things in the past I have always failed. I feel people don't understand me and people have called me weird because I am not like them. I am now a recluse that never goes out and has panic attacks.

 

[hallamblue]

Thank you both, what's stopped me from counselling is the talking and re-living what happened. My mum always told me to talk about things but I'm a more keep them all locked inside person, when I have tried to talk about things in the past I have always failed. I feel people don't understand me and people have called me weird because I am not like them. I am now a recluse that never goes out and has panic attacks.

Talking about it may be painful, but hopefully it will help you start the process of moving on with the rest of your life. People who call you weird really aren't worth worrying about. There is no guarantee that counselling will work, and you have to commit fully to it and share things you don't want to share but I do think it's worth a try, and there is a lot less risk in saying those things to a stranger than someone you know.

 

[kithnou]

I have been lurking on here for well over a year but finding it extremely difficult to post myself. I am not a great talker and normally suffer alone but there are so many helpful, inspirational posters on here that make me feel not alone. I have been struggling for years with anxiety and depression which stems from being sexually assaulted years ago, At the age of 14, which I kept to myself. I never told anyone about it until I met my husband 9 years ago, he took it quite badly and made me report it at the police station, which was traumatic. I just want to forget it but it won't go away as certain things trigger which sends me into a downward spiral. I spoke to the doctor as I have been having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks and was prescribed citalopram. I am in a constant battle and the only person I will speak to but we both find it difficult is my husband as I have no other family apart from my daughter. I am sorry if I haven't put myself across well, and for rambling.

The others have given you some sound advice. I wanted to welcome you by congratulating you on taking the step in here to talk about your past and your battle. I hope things work out for you.

 

[Woolly Blue]

Lost my nan. Lost my family, lost my home and I may lose my job. 2016 can [Poor language removed] right off.

It'll get better mate.

Once you started looking for work a year or two ago, you found jobs dead easily, and will do again.

You might not see as much of your daughter as you'd like too, but you will in years to come, and at least you're not in an empty relationship any more.

Grief tends to fade and you'll end up smiling about the times you had with your nan. You plainly loved each other and she knew the real you, which is someone we often see on here. You're a decent bloke Bry. People just need to get to know you to realise that.