little curly alan ball
Player Valuation: £70m
For those in Helmand Province , Afghanistan generally , or otherwise Serving their Nation , when they could be at home with their Families .
Stay Safe , People . That , is a Goddamn' Order !!!
For My Mother , My World , L.C.A.Barb , Me Aunty Do' , Our Eva and Archie ,...
An' I'm STILL very sorry .....
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Welcome , everyone to our small corner of the Sabbath .
The subject of today's Lesson is another whom could legitimately be termed as a Bridesmaid , as opposed to The Bride , in the affections of the average Evertonian , but is without doubt as committed as any before him in giving his all each time he dons the Royal Blue Jersey . Moreover , he graduated from our own Academy and is now our joint longest serving player . Oh , and in winning the F.A. Youth Cup is one of only 2 members of the current squad to lift Silverware whilst an Everton Player .
Ladies and Gentlemen , may I introduce , Tony Hibbert .
Anthony James Hibbert was born on February 20 , 1980 in the Great City of Liverpool , England . A Schoolboy Talent , he was entered into the Everton Academy as a Youngster and Graduated into an Apprentice Contract on August 1 , 2000 . Initially a Midfielder , Hibbo was transformed into a Full Back during his formative time as a Pro' . Moreover , played a major role in the F.A. Youth Cup Triumph in 1998 , beating Blackburn Rovers 5-2 on aggregate , alongside Leon Osman . Due to our precarious financial position , allied to a historical Club Ethic of producing our own players , Tony Hibbert was now pushing for a place in Walter Smith's First Team Squad . His impressive displays in the Reserves saw him finally promoted , and he made his First Team Debut , on 31st May 2001 , away at West Ham United , and after Stuart Pearce caught Hibbo in the Chest , was instrumental in winning the Penalty which ultimately earned us a 2-0 win . From there he would make only 2 more Substitue appearances , one an impressive showing against Bradford City that Season .
The following Season , 2001-02 , the Team was struggling . It was The Nadir of Smith's tenure . Ginola , Hughes - both of them , Gascoigne , etc , as we stumbled but never actually strode forwards and it became patently apparent that he was nearing the end . Young T , maintained his impressive displays in The Stiffs , and would make 8 First Team Starts and another 4 as Substitute . Sterling displays in games against Blackburn Rovers and particularly a fine showing against The RS , in which he was a constant threat as a marauding overlapping Full Back , resulted in Hibbo's luck changing , along with the general fortunes of the Club ; with the appointment of David Moyes as Everton Manager . Tony playing the majority of his games on 2001-02 , under Moyes' tenure , as the quiet lad from Huyton began to find his feet .
2002-03 Season dawned with optimism for both Evertonians generally , and also Anthony James Hibbert . However , in typical fashion , our initial 5 games were 1 win , two draws , 2 losses . So , not Champions then,..??? Hibbo started the Season as Ginger's First Choice Right Back . He had seen something in the kid , particularly in his ability to Jockey and Tackle cleanly . The following 5 games were no real pointer , either . Three wins , 2 defeats . One of those wins was the League Cup Tie at Wrexham which saw the First Team Debut of one , Wayne , " Asbo " Rooney . This would be significant for Young T , on a number of levels . Moyes , in the process of Weeding Out , Smith's Over-The-Hill Brigade , and showing his penchant for Youth , sought to tie down his two main Starlets , Asbo and Hibbo to new Long-Term Contracts , and in a typical Kenwright-esque Pomp and Cermony , Ceremony , wheeled them out before the Nation's Media . As it turned out , Rooney mainly chewed chewy and Hibbo was , well , Hibbo . Nodding a lot and answering questions politely but succinctly . It was kinda , Toe -Curling , tbh , but the Mission was Accomplished , so , all good . On the pitch , Tony Hibbert picked up an injury following the home Derby - nils each over Christmas . He would be out until March , returning in another nils each against West Ham at The Old Lady . He maintained his place in what was a relatively disappointing end to the Campaign . Nevertheless , the Team ended in 7th position in the Premier League , a veritable Quantum Leap from Walter's W*nkers .
So , Progresso ,.. Tony Hibbert would make 24 First Team Starts with another 1 as Substitute . Yet again , he failed to trouble to Scorer Statisticians ,..
The Season of 2003/04 dawned with a residual optimism amongst Santo Domingans . A new Young Manager , 2 boss kids , and our most laudable Premiership finish in 7 years . Tony Hibbert would miss the Campaign's opening through injury , finally making his bow against The Barcodes , in a 2-2 draw at home on September 13 . However , in general , the Campaign never really got started . Despite Rooney's presence , the squad was too bereft of , well , anything really . We had bodies but little quality . A win , two draws , 3 losses . Hibbo had missed the 0-3 RS Derby hiding at home , and the highlight for Blues of the year was 2 games against The Mancs . We lost unluckily , 2-3 at Old Trafford - Anyone present will recall the , Hibbo / Asbo Double-Up on Ronaldo , an' Asbo's scything tackle , somewhere around his waist ;...and again were most hard done by as they came back to defeat us 3-4 , after being 0-3 down at Half Time , in the return fixture and best game at The Old Lady that year . The following week , we were , Coated 0-3 at Birmingham , and the week after were in another Corker of a Match as Asbo grabbed 2 in a 3-3 draw at Southampton . On Easter Monday , after another decent showing , we were subject to a Shearer Super-Strike and lost 2 late goals to go down , 2-4 . In a typical manifestation of the Campaign generally , our last 7 games realised but one win , along with two draws and 4 defeats . The last of which was Asbo's final game for Everton FC , away at Man' City's , The Council House . Now , Meself an' Brother-In-Law take the kids . In what was amongst my worst ever , No-Show Everton Performances , we are beaten 1-5 . It was , 0-4 at Half Time , which is when we left - the first time either
myself , Nor , an' more pointedly , The Young'uns , had ever done so . It was stomach churning . A 17 year old kid , patently , Too Fukn Big For His Boots , an' it was spreading through the Squad like a Virus . Something had to be done . Tony Hibbert , now Everton's First Choice Right Back , made 31 Top Level appearances , with another as Substitute . Yet again , of course , he did not score a goal .
In years to come , 2004/2005 , as Young Evertonians peruse the Moyes Epoch , will surely appear as the highlight of not just Ginger's Mangership , but indeed , since The Dome Mk 1 . It began , in an atmosphere of depression akin to that of Smith's Darkest Hour . Asbo had been the Player of The Tournament , at least to all those favouring the 3 Lions he was , at the Euro Championships in Portugal . As Everton's Centre Forward he finished Joint-Second Top Scorer in the Competition . Unfortunately , at NO TIME did he mention either Everton nor being Everton's Centre Forward - his Childhood dream ; and basically Angled for a move from the moment that his Metatarsal snapped in the Portugal Match . He got his wish 3 days before the close of the Transfer Window . Moyesy moved swiftly to secure one piece of awesome business however , in securing the services of Millwall's Tim Cahill , fresh from an appearance in the F.A. Cup Final .Tony Hibbert began the Season at Right Back , and was thus embarrassed with the rest of our side as Arsenal , once more , gave us an opening day hiding , 1-5 . Our next game was away at Crystal Palace , and in a fine performance we win 3-1 and Cahill signs that evening . Both aspects were significant for our Season . The Players , having lost Rooney , then been Coated by , Uppa De Arse , could of , and may well have , lapsed back into the , Manchester City - 04/05 , mindset . The Palace win mattered . I went . They celebrated Large with us at the end . We then beat West Brom at home , before going to Manchester twice in a fortnight . A very creditable draw at Old Trafford - Asbo of course was still out ; as Timmy makes a very impressive debut , and an even better victory at Man City , as Our Little Aussie scores his first St. Domingo Score , but in pulling his shirt over his head is dismissed . I went there too . They celebrated mad at the end once again . 2 Away games in Manchester in 2 weeks . Four points from 6 . Better than decent like . From there , beat Boro' at The Old Lady , before another brilliant away day , at Portsmouth , as Timmy made himself at home . 2 losses in London in 4 days , Chelsea in the League , Arsenal League Cup , did not de-rail us . Meanwhile , Tony Hibbert was playing some of the best football that he ever would . Always an excellent Tackler / Jockeyer , indeed , his performances against Cristiano Ronaldo were noted elsewhere . Moreover , he used his pace to press forwards and was involved in many Everton goals during this Campaign . Moreover , he never got booked until November 28 !!! Indeed , there began to be talk of an England Call-Up , as the Media began to , ever so slightly thaw their view on Everton Football Club and its Players .
From that defeat at Arsenal , we win 3 and draw 1 , of our next 4 . We then face the RS at Goodison in the Year's first Derby . In a scrappy game , with us stll smarting from the 0-3 , its tight . Scrappy . Nevertheless , Lee Carsley , with one of the most unlikely Merseyside Derby winning goals , scores in the St. End goal . Cue , Iconic Everton Imagery , as The Piley-On , with Hibbo's feet visible , and Timmy atop , will forever warm the hearts of St. Domingan's , as we close out the match , 1-0 . The end of 2004 saw 2 defeats . Another loss to Chelsea and a , 2-5 hiding off
Tottenham . No matter , this side was made of sterner stuff . It would have to be , as Gravesen , the heartbeat of the side - or so we thought , departed for Real Madrid before Hogmany was out . Portsmouth were defeated - again , Plymouth , ditto , in the F.A. Cup , then Sunderland , then Norwich , late one Goodison February evening . And still we rolled along . The talk of a fourth placed - Champions League spot ; fight between ourselves and the Bealzebubs , had largely been ridiculed by the National Media . However , following a loss to The Mancs , 0-2 , we produce our finest performance , not just in a season , but I would argue in a decade , as we utterly dismantle Aston Villa at their place , as Mikel Arteta makes his debut and looks like hes played with Cahill since they were boys . Two defeats in two weeks , the first at Grey Skull , as Timmy scores a Kop End cracker but we go down , 1-2 , the week after Blackburn beat us . Nevertheless , 2 wins in a fortnight , Crystal Palace Mulahd 4-0 , as Vaughny takes Asbo's Record of Youngest Premiership Scorer , and gives us the second-different recipient of that honour in two years . On the Wednesday night , Goodison enjoys her finest night , certainly since the 4-4 , but some argue - for noise , since Bayern Munich . It was THAT loud , as Asbo spat the Dummy and Ferdinand was Bullied by The Big Man , whom scores the only goal as we defeat United 1-0 , our first victory over them under David Moyes . The roof near came off , as they say . Awesome night . One more victory , over The Barcodes , saw us nearly there . A typical Highbury Hiding as we bade farewell to the Marble Halls with a 0-7 Coating . Quelle surprise ... We then go to Bolton on the final day , and Cars' , scores in front of us and runs away with 4 fingers raised . Uncle L.C.A.B. and Bluefitzy, of this Parish - an' my Young Firm , were in Row A . There's pictures somewhere . So , there we were . 4th place secured , and , at that stage at least , elimination of The Vermin from their beloved Big Ears . Well , we all know what happened there . Still , Everton Football Club had over-performed . Every Man Jack of Us - and Woman Jacqueline of Us. Moreover , Tony Hibbert had been awesome . He had become a Fan's Favourite due to his enthusiasm and crunching tackles , and talk of an International Call-Up was no longer reserved to Bellefield . Indeed , Hibbo was the ACTIM Top Right Back in the Premier League . He played the third most games of anyone in the Squad , behind Kilbane and Carsley . He made 39 First Team starts and another one as a Substitute .
2005/06 was the most antipicipated Summer at L4,4EL . However , unfortunately for Young Tony , Moyes purchased Phillip Neville from Manchester United , thus placing pressure to even make the Everton First Team , never mind England . Still , The Gaffer went with Neville in a Midfield role , as our Season got underway early , with the prestigious Champions League Qualifying Round Tie , against Villareal . We were defeated by an outstanding outfit , though only narrowly , 1-2 , as Goodison witnessed both Gold Numbers on the Players Back's for the one and only time , to
date , and also the Majesty of Juan Roman Riquelme .
Our League Campaign began with the usual defeat off the Mancs , 0-2 , and a win over Blackburn . On the Wednesday , it was off to Spain , to ultimately be beaten 1-2 , but only after the most atrocious decision that Pierre-Luigi Collina ever made in his long career as he disallows a perfectly legitimate Duncan Ferguson Header near the end of the game , which stood at 1-1 at the time . It destroyed a side which were patently over-matched , and they broke away near the end as we let our heads go down . It was not a surprise , but it was a shame . So , we were in , we were out . Eufa Cup it is then . Well , no actually , but first we get beat 2 League games in a row . Fulham away and Redknapp's Portsmouth , 0-1 , as Johnson scores a cracker in the Gwladys Street . On the Thursday , My Mucka , bluefitzy , makes his way to Bucheresti to see us completely capitulate , 1-5 . Thus , we are , in effect out of all European Competition by September 15 - some going , when you consider it was in 2 Separate Disciplines .
The Premier League form was no better . Defeats against Arsenal and a home loss to Bainsey's Wigan just told us that the , Up-Down , Annual thing was still in full effect . After beating Dinamo Bucherest at home 1-0 , as Timmy opens his Euro account , we then lose 3 out of four . Simon Davies gets us a win at St. Andrews , Birmingham , and Middlesborough were despatched the following week . However , I travelled to West Bromwich with My Mate , Sandy , and the only thing either of us took from the game was his love for their Balti Pies , as we were blitzed , 0-4 . 2 more wins and a draw , before a run of , 4 defeats in a row , two of them , 0-4 - Bolton and Vila , and a 1-3 reverse against The Vermin at Goodison . However , Timmy Cahill scoring with three minutes remaining to secure the points at Sunderland , on the final day of 2005 , which saw of go on our best run of the Campaign . our next defeat came in an F.A. Cup 4th Round Replay , 1-4 at Chelski . A win , another defeat before two excellent home victories , 3-1 versus Bolton , and 4-1 against Aston Vanilla , before yet another 1-3 hiding at The Bealzebubs in the Grey Skull Derby . 3 draws and two losses in the next 5 saw a rescinding of our good start to 2006 . Indeed , we would gain only one victory from our last 7 games which of course manifested itself in our final League standing of 11th . It was a disappointment rather than a calamity but it did illustrate the potential of the squad if we could only add a body or two . Now , where've I heard THAT before , I wonder ...??? Anthony James Hibbert , playing through an injury for much of the second half of the Season made 38 First Team Starts , and of course , did not score a goal . Of any description . One other event , was the untimely and devastating to Evertonians , of The Last Of The Corinthians , Brian Labone , whom suffered a Heart
Attack , following - of course it was , a night out talking about and with Santo Domingans .
As L4 , 4EL readied itself for the impending 2006/07 , Premier League Campaign , as Andy Johnson was the Headline Purchase from Crystal
Palace , Tony Hibbert did not take part in his normal Pre-Season routine . This was due to his having infected by the ; Cryptosporidium Parasite . This is a Water-Born Infectant , and the symptoms are like a particulaly nasty stomach flu . Water retention is a major issue . Thus , for a Footballer , undergoing Pre-Season Fitness Training , it was an issue . Indeed , he would not appear until September and even then , would play just 4 games before once more being out until February . He also suffered - as did many Merseyside Footballers ; a high profile Burglary . Fortunately , unlike Jags , he was not home and thus , lost only possessions . Silver Linings / Clouds ....
The side itself , however , began well enough . AJ got a Home Debut goal - well , it was a huge deflection , but who's complaining ...??? We go to Blackburn and draw , then Tottenham and win for the first time since Lineker scored our winner . The week after , the Vermin come to Town . With the side now showing incredible self-belief and will to win , despite the previous Season's tailing-off , we attack them from the off . I've said this before within these quarters , but if you see Timmy's surreptitious Head-Lock upon Alonso in the build-up to our second goal is absolute microcosm of our mindset that afternoon . We were forceful , dominant but cool . AJ's pace terrified them , an' Me La couldn't beat us on his own that time , as Andy Johnson gave us yet another piece of EFC Iconography , with his 3 - 0 fingers gesture . It was very , very sweet indeed , an' the first time that I had ever witnessed us scoring 3 against them in a League Game . As I say , Suuuuuusssss ,..!!! Typically Everton though , from the RS match on September 9 - Hibbo picks up his first Premier League Red Card in the 1-1 draw a the Barcodes on September 21 , we would not collect another 3 points until beating Sheffield United on October 21 - 5 League games later . After knocking Luton out of the League Cup , 0-4 at their place , we have a draw , then 3 consecutive 0-1 losses , two of them against Arsenal , seeing to our exit from the League Cup courtesy of Adebayor .
A win , a draw , a hiding at Old Trafford , 0-3 . We beat West Ham , then lose to Pompey and Chelski in consecutive matches , as two wins and a draw see out 2006 . 2007 seemed more of an Annus Horribilus , as we lose to Man' City on New Year's Day , then are battered out the F.A. Cup , 1-4 at home to Blackburn - it was not pretty . The week after saw American Film Actor , Sylvester , " Ro-cky!!! .." Stallone paraded on the Goodison Turf , brandishing Merchandise from head to toe . The scarf above his head , the full works . Peeps even have it as their Avatar - My
Mate , Ijj' , for example . However , it was neither much help on the day as we struggle to a 1's each stalemate , nor in the longer financial term . Robert Earl ..??? Robert Schmearl ,... We beat Wigan , then endure a Grey Skull nils each , before taking our revenge upon Blackburn Rovers for Pulling Our Pants Down , in the F.A. Cup , as we beat them , 1-0 . Spurs vanquish us at Goodison , as the Boo-Boys came out for the first time under Moyes , as Hibbo comes back for a game but is injured and ruled out for a further 6 weeks , before we go to Watford and win - we usually do , in fairness . On March 3 , Myself an' Me Boi , Sandy , trek to Sheffield United . The game is remarkable for 2 things ; one , A.J's " Dive " - which was not a dive for our equalising penalty , which initiated a Media Storm , and resulted in the Ginger One taking a DVD of such incidents which we had been denied throughout the Season , ( which Keith Hackett , the Ref' Supremo concurred with ,..) . The other event of note , was after snapping his Metatarsal , Timmy was prostate in their area . Phillip Jagielka , Captain of the Opposition at this stage , with the game going
on , proceeds to help up , then assist off the playing area , one Timmy The Convict . A Class Act , on every level , Jags . Knew it that day , an' I still know it today . A fine home victory over The Gunners as A.J. scores our goal , then a draw at Vanilla - as Tony Hibbert returns to the team , before battering Fulham 4-1 at The Old Lady . A draw , then a late goal , McFadden's best in a Blue Jersey , sees us vanquish Charlton Athletic , prior to a defeat at the Boleyn Ground , West Ham . On April 25th , a Wednesday Evening , attempting to put out a Garden Fire , Alan James Ball Jnr , suffered a Heart Attack and died . Everton FC saw an out-pouring of grief akin to that of Labby 12 months earlier . We had lost , The Greatest Of Them All . On the Saturday , as luck would have it , I was very ill and missed my first home game in many a year . Moreover , Asbo Rooney , signed in a blaze of flash-bulbs and microphones alongside Tony Hibbert , now returned in a Manchester United shirt . Not only did he wear it , but upon scoring , kisses the badge . Well , after being brought up how he was , and having saw the naked grief of both the Family , Club Representatives and Evertonians generally , he still chose to disrespect a man who was twice the player he'll ever be , won a trophy Asbo willnever win , and as a Bolton Lad , showed more respect to Everton FC than a someone purporting to have supported us since boyhood , and whom had done very nicely thank you , from his association with Santo Domingo . Anyway , its why I call him Asbo ; Class-less little Mufuka as far as I'm concerned , but its all about opinions , I suppose . Incidentally , after racing into a two goal lead , Turner , our Young Debutant in Goal , makes a howler of an error . Its all they need as , smelling blood , and certainly fear , come back to overwhelm us , 2-4 . We beat Portsmouth and draw at Stamford Bridge in our final 2 games . We end up in 6th position in a Campaign of some real High's but also some Downer Days , as European Qualification was once more achieved . Still , there was progress . That much was undeniable . Tony Hibbert endured his unluckiest season in his career to date as regards injuries , as he made 12 starting appearances with another 1 as Substitute .
Summer 2007 , passed relatively stress free at Casa Santo Domingo . No real outgoings . Beat's had patently not worked , which was a shame for both parties as well as his best mate in football , Andrew Johnson . As for incomings , David Moyes really was putting the pieces of the jigsaw together now , as he snapped up Phil Jagielka from relegated Sheffield United - some Blade told me this was happening as I left their ground in March ; Oraculer- as they might say , btw ...; and Leighton Baines , Wigan's excellent Young Captain , allied to a last minute of the window purchase , Ayegbeni Yakubu for £12M from Middlesborough . We began with an opening day win over Wigan . On the Wednesday , we go to Spurs and , after waiting 20 years for a " Win Bus .." , then 2 come along at once !!! ; as we pick up our second victory there in 12 months , 3-1 . The day after the Transfer Window closes , Ayegbeni Yakubu scores a Debut Goal within minutes - and unveils , " The Dove Of Love " , for the first time , as we go on to claim the points , 2-1 . We were defeated by The Mancs at The Old Lady , then have the home leg of the Eufa Cup Knockout Qualifying Round , as we play host to Metallist Kharkiv . We struggle , as the game finishes one's each , and not many Blues are filled with optimism for a Continental jaunt this season - and an aside ; this week also saw the admission of one , L.C.A.B. , to G.O.T. Fuk knows what happened to him ...??? . A defeat and 2 wins , one in the League Cup , before a nightmare trak to Ukraine , to play Metallist Kharkiv . In a stormer of a game , we come back to win 3-2 which not only sees us through , but is the catalyst for our going on a run in the competition . Our next two games are both unlucky defeats , the first to a late winner at The Barcodes and the other by the odd goal in 3 at in the Derby at Goodison as , Tony Hibbert chases Gerrard from the half-way line , but tackles him inside the box , and is dismissed and Lisa Simpson scores from the Penalty spot , as The Bealzebubs turn us over , 2-1 .
However , Kharkiv really was a catalyst . Despite those losses , and they were both unlucky , we go on a 7 game run where we win 6 . The latest in the sequence being the 7-1 Coating of The Mackems - Sunderland , as we all began to see that this team had , Honest To God , Potential . Next , came a stalemate against Pompey ,away , on December 1st . Between then , and December 28 , we play 9 games domesticaly and abroad . We lose 2 . The first our annual beating at Old Trafford and the other another Arsenal Arse-Kick , 1-4 at Goodison Park , as we bade farewell to
2007 . A Nightmare of an F.A. Cup defeat at home to Oldham Ahletic was the second in a sequence of 3 wins , three losses . Another of the defeats was the First Leg of the first League Cup Semi Final we had been involved in since 1984 . In truth , we were still , just , over-matched when playing the Chelski's , etc . This became evident as they arrived at The Old Lady and beat us 1-0 without us putting up much of a struggle . We were still ,
" Happy To Be There ..." , kinda , sorta ... Two Premier League draws and a win , before we face the Norwegians - no , Not The RS thi time , but rather , Brann Bergen in the Eufa Cup , twice in a eight days . We triumph 2-0 at their place , and trounce them 6-0 a our gaff , playing perhaps the best football ever produced by an Everton side in European Competition . We go to The Council House , Mancheser City and win again , with Jo' ," I'm the REAL Fod , Fod " , Lescott particulaly enjoying his goal celebration as I recall . Then Portsmouth are despatched at
Goodison , prior to our going to Fiorenze , Italia , in the Eufa Cup , Last 16 , First Leg .
Once more , in a performance , unlike most of the Season but almost a replica of the Chelsea Home Game weeks previously , we utterly fail to turn up and are beaten 2-0 . A victory away at Sunderland is a perfect , Shot In The Arm , as we required something . That was for certain . The Italians duly arrived at The Old Lady , not really expecting too mucxh , following our First Leg capitulation , How wrong could they be ...??? In a performance even better at times than the Brann Bergen one , lauded by some many , we drag back the two goals , one an absolute corker from Mikel Arteta which , upon hitting the net , as regads noise reverberation was up there with Duncan's '05 Man' United strike . The match goes to Extra-Time and Penalties , and of course , heartbreakingly , Jags , fair play for stepping up , has his saved and we are defeated . However , this time it was , With Honour . We gave it our all . It wasn't quite enough . Do better next time , etc . A draw and two League defeats , the second being a 1-0 defeat by The Vermin , at the Deep End . In our final 6 games we have 2 wins two draws , 2 losses . One of the draws is versus Aston Villa at our place . In the bouncing down rain , Pip Neville thinks one of his rare mis-hit strikes has won it for us . Alas , it hadn't , as they come back , like they always do against us to salvage a point . No matter , a Final Day home win over Newcastle sees us secure 5th place and yet another Eufa Cup opportunity . Tony Hibbert plays 29 matches from the start with another 6 as Substitute , as , all in all , we have another excellent
Season . However , he suffers medial ligament damage in our last away game , a defeat at the Emirates and is out for some months , seriously disrupting his Pre-Season to the extent that he didn't actually have one .
Optimism abounded at L4 4EL to such an extent during the Sumer of 2008 , that the record breaking tansfer of a very tall , Screech / Side-Show Bob Looky-Likey from Belgian whom no-one had neither heard , nor could pronounce his name once we were aware of it , was nevertheless met with fervent anticipation . We believed we had a side now . Not the best in the Division , but certainly not the worst , and one , which on its day could give anybody , the top 4 included , a game . Our first game was a travesty of a loss to Ince's Blackburn Rovers , 2-3 . We then beat West Bromwich Albion , lose to Portsmouth , heavily , 0-3 , then go to Stoke and pinch an excellent victory , 2-3 , as Arteta announces that he is back . Then come two draws , the first a 2-2 in the Europa League as it is now termed , as Standard Liege - Screechio's old team , come to Goodison - after putting up a similar performances against The RS over 2 legs in the Champions League Qualifying Round ; and gain an impressive 2-2 draw , effectively dismissing us at the first hurdle . A draw , a loss to Blackburn , and another Goodison Derby No-Show , as we have two dismissed and concede the same amount of goals withou reply , precedes our journey to Belgium for the formaliies of the second leg . We are of course dismissed as expected . This was on October 2nd . Between then and November 30 we play 9 matches . We draw 2 and lose two , but resurgence is in the
air . However , injury is a constant threat , and indeed would come to cost us a King's Ransom by the Season's end .
In yet a further Aston Villa last-minute heartbreak thing - perhaps the worst of them all as that little horror , Ashley Young scores in stoppage
time , after Jo' Lescott's celebration for his - believed ; equaliser actually created most of that time . Ho-hum . It was a heavy psychological blow but we were made of sterner stuff these days and the , all-for-one spirit really kicked in . We play 4 more games in 2008 , winning three of them , drawing the other . We put Keith Alexander - R.I.P's ; Macclesfield out of the F.A. Cup without much drama and avoiding a potential Banans Skin . A victory over Hull City before two trips to Grey Skull in 6 days . The first in the Premier League as Timmy becomes our highest scorer at Grey Skull since Dixie , and equalises with literally minutes left . I went beserk . I swear it . Mad Arse McGuinty , that night alright . Anyway , I went on me own on the Monday . For the Cup Game I got all kinds of tickets so , Me Boy , Me Young Firm , Brother-In-Law , Our Johnboy , Me Bessies - Blue an' Red , an' assorted Scalls an' Ne'erdowells , trek the 500 yards or so from ours to The Deep End . However , instead of our usual resigned pessimism , ths time we actually - don't say it too loud , but ; fancy it ... We hear upon entry that Arteta has a training injury - of course he has , and misses the game . No matter . We take it to them , and indeed take the lead . Lescott nodding in Timmy's header which was going in anyway . Before Me La gets his normal 30 yarder to bring us all back to Goodison to do it all again .
Leading up to the replay we face Arsenal and draw and Man' United and are narrowly vanquished , 0-1 . I won't go overboard about the replay night . Suffice to say , that we again take it to them . Goodison is packed to the rafters and , Oracula that I am , My final words upon leaving Me Boss, RS Mucka , Big Mark Davies , were ; " You haven't met Gosling yet ,.. " I was in fact clutching at straws as he countered with , The Ladyboy , Me La , etc . Still , who was laughing now , My Road End Friend ...??? Dan Gosling becomes Super Dan Gosling after an injury time Park End strike , and the decibel level is again of Fiorentina / United '05 proportions . So , Onwards Evertonians .... In a serendiptous occurence , we are drawn a home to Aston Vanilla in the 5th Round of The Cup . Finally , we show up properly , and utterly dismiss them from the competition , 3-1 . As I say , Onwards ,... Next come Middlesborough , as folks begin to realise that we are one game - THIS game , away from Wembley . Hmmm .... We needn't have fretted as we win 2-1 though - PNS . even despite their taking a lead , the game went without , given the occasion , without any great scares . OMFG !!! Wem-Ber-Ley !!! Really , Really !!! The kids go bananas and friends I haven't heard of for years , suddenly recall how much they DIGS L.C.A.B. As I say , Hmmmmm,... Our problem , however , is the remaing teams in the Competition were Arsenal , Chelsea and Manchester United . We draw the Mancs . Our form leading up to the game is , Iffy . Win against Stoke , lose to Pompey , beat Wigan , prior to yet another corker of a match against Aston Villa . This time 3-3 . Then comes The Semi Final ....
Due to various factors , primarily the tickets and eventual scoreline , THIS was our Cup Final , only we didn't know it then . I take a Mini-Bus full of My Very Bestest Peoples - every one a Raw Arse Blue . We ariive at the Stadium to discover tha Asbo and Ronaldo are not even at the Ground ... Despite the fact that we have no Centre Forward , with Yak having done his knee , we give as good as we get , though without ever really looking truly threatening . The tie goes into extra-time , and finally to the Playing Field Levelling , penalty Shoot-Out . Hibbo goes missing when Davey's looking for hands being raised . Timmy of course takes one , but misses. His face was the Archetypal image of Heartbreak . However , our other spot kicks are beautifully despatched by Bainsey , Vaughany , and , Cohones of Granite, Pip Neville and in a moment of Sweeeeet retribution , Jags steps up to see us into the F.A. Cup Final . All memories of Fiorentina are instantly erased , as he fires home , an' begins the now famous , Fingers as Pistols , pose ... I love him so ,... Having lost both Anichebe and Arteta in one game at The Barcodes - DO NOT think we've forgotten , RS Tawt Nolan ; as well as Yak , allied to sundry knocks and scrapes , we stumble our way to a 6th place Premier League finish , as the Management , Players and Staff are measured for their Second Suit within months . As for the game itself , it was indeed , One Step Too Far . This team ,
rather , this Squad , had performed miracles this Campaign . Each member , over and above expectations , but it was not to be . We take a surprising first minute lead , as Saha goes into the Wembley record books . However , it is , Men Against Boys , as , unfortunately , they identify Tony Hibbert's weakness in the air , and continuously float balls over his shoulder for the on running Cole or Malouda . It is so bad , so marked , that Moyesey is forced to replace him at half time . Naturally devastating the Lad , but he bares it in Good Grace . We do not have another serious attack for the rest of the match , as Droghba and Lampard , and in truth , Malouda , put the game , and the Trophy tantalisingly out of reach . Our season thus ends in disappointment as regards Silverware , but in so far as making , certainly this Evertonian , as proud as I have been with my team in at least a Decade . Possibly two . The spirit in the Camp was worth an extra man . Injuries came and went but they just kept rolling along . Our League position qualified us for Europa League in our own right , 6th position . Tony Hbbo made 23 starts and one Substitution appearance . Outstanding Blues .
I got a phone call during the late Summer , 209 . Everton were about to leave for a Tour of the U.S.A. Indeed , they were at the Airport . The call went thus ;... " Lescott knows about the - City ; bid . He's got a titty Lip ,..." This is a Player , can we remind ourselves , that 3 years ago was playing Championship football , and whom was now an England International and had just made two appearances for his Club at Wembley . Yet he had a , " Titty Lip ..." Anyway , suffice to say , Elephant Man's antics completely took the shine off the Post-Wembley Love-In , bringing us all back down to reality . With both him and Man' City , " At the Bollox ..." Moyes , having refused to do precisely that , finally capitulated and agreed to get the best terms possible . Well , that he certainly did do , as we literally Burgled them out of £24M for someone not always our First Choice Centre Half . The money was quickly spent on a Russian International , Dinyar Bilyaletdinov , Silvain Distin , a solid and reliable Centre Half from Portsmouth and John Heitinga , The Dutch Right Back whom could also play Centre Back if required . We , I think most would agree , got the better end of the bargain .
I suppose , in retrospect , we could have foreseen what was about to unfold , as Arsenal , our Serial , Arse-....See What I did there ...??? ; Spankers , came to Town on the Opening Day . With us all still , What About Wembley Though ,..??? ; and Lescott making his final , reluctant - Cheeky Ungrateful Mufuka , appearance in Royal Blue , we were taken to The Cleaners and Spanked 1-6 . We have had some bizarre Premier League results against The Gooners , but this was as bad a performance as any . They could've gotten another 3 or four , easily . Moreover , our goal came near the end with them not really trying . Big Mad Fod , was sold the following day as Ginger sought to Act . Sigma Olamouc were beaten over 2 legs in the Europa League Qualifier - As Hibbo was Sent Off in the First Leg ., with a hideous defeat at Burnley , as Saha misses a spot kick , sandwiched in-between . We beat Wigan , lose away from home to Fulham - don't we always ...??? Our next 3 games are a 4-0 win over A.E.K. Athens , with the Best Fans I've ever witnessed at Goodison Park , a 3-0 victory over Blackburn in the Premier League , and a 4-0 triumph versus Hull City to eliminate them from the League Cup . Two wins , 2 draws as Bily opens his account in the 1-1 versus Wolves . On the Wednesday evening , this Internet Phenomenon , joined our Fearless Boss-Man #1 , or B'Mizzzzllle , as I know him , and Monty , Legend of this Parish , in the Alex Young Suite to eat Scouse and watch us get demolished, 0-5 by Benfica in the Stadio La Luz , Lisboa . It was awful . Dreadful , as they could have had a load more , De Maria , Luiz , the Centre Forward who's name escapes me , plays with Suarez for Uruguay , I think . Him , anyway . I think Ramierez was playing too , but couldn't swear to it . What was for certain , is our , Half-Team , of Rag-Tags and Kids -
Captained , incidentally by one , Anthony James Hibbert , were patently , ridiculously over-matched . Still , we had a time , and the Scouse was
fine . Our next 4 games were of a similar bent , with 3 losses and yet another home draw to Vanilla . By now , the injuries were genuinely crippling us . Yak , Arteta nor Vicor were back , Neville was out , as was Timmy, as Leon and Screechio also picked up knocks . We were treading water but not progressing . A win and 3 straight defeats , the latter a 2-0 Whooping off The Bealzebubs at Goodison as Lisa Simpson slides on her knees towards the Paddock . Vomit-inducing . While we continued to progress in Europe - the Benfica games made no real difference in a League System , our League form suffered . Our next 4 games in the Premier were all drawn , and we were in the bottom 4 on Christmas Day . An improvement was required . Urgently . The good news is , the Loan Signing of Landon Donovan , The United States Captain , from L.A. Galaxy .
We defeated Burnley at home on December 28 , 2-0 . From there we go on a run . Carlisle , in a throw-back of a Cup Tie , were vanquished at Goodison . We lose once in January - to Birmingham , and again in February as The Vermin Triumph over us again , as we don't show up , once more , at Grey Skull , 1-0 Nevertheless , our Season spectacularly turns itself around , as first Chelsea , via a Saha Super-Show , Sporting
Lisbon , in the home leg of a Europa Cup Knockourt Tie , then Manchester United are , in the latter case , not just beaten , but second half , were taken to the cleaners , as our Kids , Rodwell and Gosling , Put Them to the Sword , and we triumph 3-1 . Another Lisbon No-Show ; this time at Sporting , sees us eliminated from Continental Competiion . Spurs beat us the following week in London , as Our Goalkeeper makes an error . Nevertheless , Normal Service is Resumed , with a 5-1 Bilitzing of Hull City , before 2 wins , two draws . Another two draws - the second of which was at Vanilla , as Me self , Me Young Firm an' Sharpy's Barmy Army take off to Birmingham . Suffering even more injuries on the night , we are awesome , we take the lead wice . Timmy simply imperious . He is our main attacking threat until Johnny H is forced to withdraw . At which point Convict #1 drops into the holding role and starts knocking ten-yard balls like he's been doing it all his career . Superb . It being Aston Vanilla , of course , they get a last minute , wholly unmerited equaliser , and all these draws were now costing us, as the Lucifers were - though only just ; pulling away from us . Three wins and a draw brought our Campaign to a close . In what , under the Injuries , Lescott situation , etc , was a Monumental Effort by All Concerned , we just fell short at the end . Given the discrepancy between our First Choice XI and most other teams , in terms of Monetary Value ; never mind the fact that many were long-term absentees . We finish in , under the circumstances , a respectable 8th position . Tony Hibbert makes 27 starts and a further 3 Substitute appearances .
The Summer of 2010 was perhaps the most frusrating and thus voiciferous amongst disgruntled Evertonians at the lack of Transfer Activity . People could see that this was undoubtably our best Squad since winning the Title and to let it drift apart through lack of finance amounted to a veriable tragedy in Royal Blue Eyes . Our Opening Game was away at Blackburn Rovers , as our Goalkeeper makes an uncharacteristic error and they score the only goal to defeat us . A win , two draws and 2 losses followed . It was going to be the way of it . One of the draws was a remarkable 3-3 against Manchester United with us coming back with 2 goals in 4 minutes near the end , thus scoring three goals in consecutive years against United since ,.. well , a long time . 2 draws and a victory , then the RS Come to Town . We completely turn up , attitude , endeavour and ability all applied to maximum effect , as Timmy , yet again , proves what a Legend he is by grabbing our first goal , and with Yakubu simply unplayable , and Arteta finally achieving what he had threatened against them for years and bagging a cracker , we go on to win , 2-0 . So , finally , Season Under Way ,... Well , you would think so , yes . However ,.. A win , 3 draws and a defeat followed . The Squad was ever more ravaged by injury . A draw against Birmingham . West Brom come and give us a hiding as I have to leave a HalfTime , ravaged by the Steds and sweating up a T-Shirt an hour . Two draws , a victory , at Man City , Naturellement ; another stalemate , a defeat . This is how it has gone . My favourite game this Season , Tottenham at Goodison as the 3 points were secured . On the Saturday , My Young Firm and Meself jumped in Sharpy's Motor and headed up to Scabunthorpe - " ..I've been Southampton , but I've ..." ; .. for a Royal , F.A. Cup day . A throw-back to the Old Days , we had a Ball as we win 5-1 . The Sunday after , we enjoy the best RS Derby in years as we go behind , then are the lead as Distin then Beckford score in the Anfield Road , before they get a Penalty to level things . 2 more draws - one at home to Chelsea in the Cup , and an unlucky defeat at The Emirates . Then came a corker of a game against Blackpool at The Old Lady , which ends 5-3 . A lacklustre showing at Bolton where David Moyes looked as low as Ive ever seen him , before a trip to Stamford Bridge . Now , I went with Me Peoples an had a really good day out , but tbh , due to personal shizzzz, this was turned into of my worst days of recent years , despite our magnificent showing on the Park , as first Bainsey equalises with minutes remaining , then with Bainsey missing , we manage to overcome them on Penalties !!! Celebrations were Legendary and if you weren't there , you want to have been . Fabulous , but as I say , personally devoeing . Oh well ,... We grab another rare victory over Sunderland , and as dreams of another Wembley Trip begin to fill our heads , Reading , the Plum draw of those sides left in , come to Goodison and , limited though they are, have a Game Plan and stick to it , and , in so doing , thoroughly deserve their victory , as they eliminate us 0-1 and went on to our Favourite Premiership Ground- Eastlands for a Quarter Final Tie . Heartbroken , didn't quite say it . Since then , and at the time of compilation , we have had a furrther 2 wins and a draw , finally seeing us draw away from the spectre of the feared Relegation Zone - which this year , stretches to nearly halfway up the Division . Alas , it appears , especially in view of Bolton or Stoke making the F.A. Cup Final , that 5th place in the Premier League will secure the final European Berth . The Campaign being symptomatic of our Clubs difficulties at present . Having tottered on the brink as regards pushing for success , injuries , lack of form , the Manager just not fancying them any more , we now totter but in the opposite direction . Pienaar goes , for next to nothing , yet is not replaced . Thus , we just throw away a Trump Card for , granted £3M , but which , in the greater scheme of things is , well , Peanuts - Now SEE WTF I did there ...??? Damn ...!!! Moreover , whispers of impending sales od Rodders , Screchio , Johnny , continue to raise their ugly heads . We shall of course , see . Though one Prays either for Divine Intervention or alternatively a Group of Right Minded , Rich Football Supporters whom can identify the latent potential at L4,4EL , irrespective of a Wooden Stadium , and resolve to take us forwards . We currently stand in 8th place .
Due to injury , Tony Hibbert has made only 9 First Team Starts , and of course , has not scored a goal . Ever .
There has been a lot of things said about Anthony James Hibbert by Evertonians . Much of it less than complimentary , and to my mind , generally out of order . He has never professed to be Daniel Alves , or Michon . He is Tony Hibbert . Decent at some things , not so great at others . What he IS , however , ALWAYS , is utterly and completely committed to the cause of Everton FC . No matter what the cause , nor whom the opposition . Injuries have hampered him , that is fact . What is also fact is his finishing the Top English Right Back , according to the ACTIM in 2005 , and also that it is fact that he was due for an England Call-Up around the same period . His Tackling / Jockeying is amongst the best in the League , and he is willing to play anywhere to represent Everton Football Club . However , it must be said , that the attacking aspect of his game , has not ,
" Trained On .." and also he is susceptable to a high ball over his shoulder . Still , after 240 First Team Appearances , having came through the Academy , is one of only two Players - with Leon , to lift a Trophy whilst an Evertonian - The F.A. Youth Cup , and moreover , is now Santo Domingo's Premier Representative , as regards appearances in European Football . Furthermore , he has become the latest in a long line of Scapegoats at our Club - ironically its often the one's who would run through a brick wall to play for Everton that they select . Undies , even Timmy last season , took some . It is not Big and its not Clever , for me . But there you are . Moreover , if he EVER scores , These >>> , WILL RIOT -
I don't Do Riots , anymore . What with me being L.C.A.B. , an' all ; ...But These WLL !!!
Therefore , Ladies and Gentlemen of The Congregation , thank The Almighy in his provision of Anthony James Hibbert . A Blue since a Boy and with the ability that God gave him , tries his very best every time he dons the Royal Blue . If only everyone had the same attitude . He is a Proper Santo Domingan and thus deserves his place in the Goodison Hall Of Fame .
Amen .
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Look after Your Peoples .
Peace Out .
The Catholc Reverand L.C.A.B.
Written in Britain .
" .. I know My Peoples hearin' me ... Holler if y'all need me ... Word
Stay Safe , People . That , is a Goddamn' Order !!!
For My Mother , My World , L.C.A.Barb , Me Aunty Do' , Our Eva and Archie ,...
An' I'm STILL very sorry .....
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Welcome , everyone to our small corner of the Sabbath .
The subject of today's Lesson is another whom could legitimately be termed as a Bridesmaid , as opposed to The Bride , in the affections of the average Evertonian , but is without doubt as committed as any before him in giving his all each time he dons the Royal Blue Jersey . Moreover , he graduated from our own Academy and is now our joint longest serving player . Oh , and in winning the F.A. Youth Cup is one of only 2 members of the current squad to lift Silverware whilst an Everton Player .
Ladies and Gentlemen , may I introduce , Tony Hibbert .
Anthony James Hibbert was born on February 20 , 1980 in the Great City of Liverpool , England . A Schoolboy Talent , he was entered into the Everton Academy as a Youngster and Graduated into an Apprentice Contract on August 1 , 2000 . Initially a Midfielder , Hibbo was transformed into a Full Back during his formative time as a Pro' . Moreover , played a major role in the F.A. Youth Cup Triumph in 1998 , beating Blackburn Rovers 5-2 on aggregate , alongside Leon Osman . Due to our precarious financial position , allied to a historical Club Ethic of producing our own players , Tony Hibbert was now pushing for a place in Walter Smith's First Team Squad . His impressive displays in the Reserves saw him finally promoted , and he made his First Team Debut , on 31st May 2001 , away at West Ham United , and after Stuart Pearce caught Hibbo in the Chest , was instrumental in winning the Penalty which ultimately earned us a 2-0 win . From there he would make only 2 more Substitue appearances , one an impressive showing against Bradford City that Season .
The following Season , 2001-02 , the Team was struggling . It was The Nadir of Smith's tenure . Ginola , Hughes - both of them , Gascoigne , etc , as we stumbled but never actually strode forwards and it became patently apparent that he was nearing the end . Young T , maintained his impressive displays in The Stiffs , and would make 8 First Team Starts and another 4 as Substitute . Sterling displays in games against Blackburn Rovers and particularly a fine showing against The RS , in which he was a constant threat as a marauding overlapping Full Back , resulted in Hibbo's luck changing , along with the general fortunes of the Club ; with the appointment of David Moyes as Everton Manager . Tony playing the majority of his games on 2001-02 , under Moyes' tenure , as the quiet lad from Huyton began to find his feet .
2002-03 Season dawned with optimism for both Evertonians generally , and also Anthony James Hibbert . However , in typical fashion , our initial 5 games were 1 win , two draws , 2 losses . So , not Champions then,..??? Hibbo started the Season as Ginger's First Choice Right Back . He had seen something in the kid , particularly in his ability to Jockey and Tackle cleanly . The following 5 games were no real pointer , either . Three wins , 2 defeats . One of those wins was the League Cup Tie at Wrexham which saw the First Team Debut of one , Wayne , " Asbo " Rooney . This would be significant for Young T , on a number of levels . Moyes , in the process of Weeding Out , Smith's Over-The-Hill Brigade , and showing his penchant for Youth , sought to tie down his two main Starlets , Asbo and Hibbo to new Long-Term Contracts , and in a typical Kenwright-esque Pomp and Cermony , Ceremony , wheeled them out before the Nation's Media . As it turned out , Rooney mainly chewed chewy and Hibbo was , well , Hibbo . Nodding a lot and answering questions politely but succinctly . It was kinda , Toe -Curling , tbh , but the Mission was Accomplished , so , all good . On the pitch , Tony Hibbert picked up an injury following the home Derby - nils each over Christmas . He would be out until March , returning in another nils each against West Ham at The Old Lady . He maintained his place in what was a relatively disappointing end to the Campaign . Nevertheless , the Team ended in 7th position in the Premier League , a veritable Quantum Leap from Walter's W*nkers .
So , Progresso ,.. Tony Hibbert would make 24 First Team Starts with another 1 as Substitute . Yet again , he failed to trouble to Scorer Statisticians ,..
The Season of 2003/04 dawned with a residual optimism amongst Santo Domingans . A new Young Manager , 2 boss kids , and our most laudable Premiership finish in 7 years . Tony Hibbert would miss the Campaign's opening through injury , finally making his bow against The Barcodes , in a 2-2 draw at home on September 13 . However , in general , the Campaign never really got started . Despite Rooney's presence , the squad was too bereft of , well , anything really . We had bodies but little quality . A win , two draws , 3 losses . Hibbo had missed the 0-3 RS Derby hiding at home , and the highlight for Blues of the year was 2 games against The Mancs . We lost unluckily , 2-3 at Old Trafford - Anyone present will recall the , Hibbo / Asbo Double-Up on Ronaldo , an' Asbo's scything tackle , somewhere around his waist ;...and again were most hard done by as they came back to defeat us 3-4 , after being 0-3 down at Half Time , in the return fixture and best game at The Old Lady that year . The following week , we were , Coated 0-3 at Birmingham , and the week after were in another Corker of a Match as Asbo grabbed 2 in a 3-3 draw at Southampton . On Easter Monday , after another decent showing , we were subject to a Shearer Super-Strike and lost 2 late goals to go down , 2-4 . In a typical manifestation of the Campaign generally , our last 7 games realised but one win , along with two draws and 4 defeats . The last of which was Asbo's final game for Everton FC , away at Man' City's , The Council House . Now , Meself an' Brother-In-Law take the kids . In what was amongst my worst ever , No-Show Everton Performances , we are beaten 1-5 . It was , 0-4 at Half Time , which is when we left - the first time either
myself , Nor , an' more pointedly , The Young'uns , had ever done so . It was stomach churning . A 17 year old kid , patently , Too Fukn Big For His Boots , an' it was spreading through the Squad like a Virus . Something had to be done . Tony Hibbert , now Everton's First Choice Right Back , made 31 Top Level appearances , with another as Substitute . Yet again , of course , he did not score a goal .
In years to come , 2004/2005 , as Young Evertonians peruse the Moyes Epoch , will surely appear as the highlight of not just Ginger's Mangership , but indeed , since The Dome Mk 1 . It began , in an atmosphere of depression akin to that of Smith's Darkest Hour . Asbo had been the Player of The Tournament , at least to all those favouring the 3 Lions he was , at the Euro Championships in Portugal . As Everton's Centre Forward he finished Joint-Second Top Scorer in the Competition . Unfortunately , at NO TIME did he mention either Everton nor being Everton's Centre Forward - his Childhood dream ; and basically Angled for a move from the moment that his Metatarsal snapped in the Portugal Match . He got his wish 3 days before the close of the Transfer Window . Moyesy moved swiftly to secure one piece of awesome business however , in securing the services of Millwall's Tim Cahill , fresh from an appearance in the F.A. Cup Final .Tony Hibbert began the Season at Right Back , and was thus embarrassed with the rest of our side as Arsenal , once more , gave us an opening day hiding , 1-5 . Our next game was away at Crystal Palace , and in a fine performance we win 3-1 and Cahill signs that evening . Both aspects were significant for our Season . The Players , having lost Rooney , then been Coated by , Uppa De Arse , could of , and may well have , lapsed back into the , Manchester City - 04/05 , mindset . The Palace win mattered . I went . They celebrated Large with us at the end . We then beat West Brom at home , before going to Manchester twice in a fortnight . A very creditable draw at Old Trafford - Asbo of course was still out ; as Timmy makes a very impressive debut , and an even better victory at Man City , as Our Little Aussie scores his first St. Domingo Score , but in pulling his shirt over his head is dismissed . I went there too . They celebrated mad at the end once again . 2 Away games in Manchester in 2 weeks . Four points from 6 . Better than decent like . From there , beat Boro' at The Old Lady , before another brilliant away day , at Portsmouth , as Timmy made himself at home . 2 losses in London in 4 days , Chelsea in the League , Arsenal League Cup , did not de-rail us . Meanwhile , Tony Hibbert was playing some of the best football that he ever would . Always an excellent Tackler / Jockeyer , indeed , his performances against Cristiano Ronaldo were noted elsewhere . Moreover , he used his pace to press forwards and was involved in many Everton goals during this Campaign . Moreover , he never got booked until November 28 !!! Indeed , there began to be talk of an England Call-Up , as the Media began to , ever so slightly thaw their view on Everton Football Club and its Players .
From that defeat at Arsenal , we win 3 and draw 1 , of our next 4 . We then face the RS at Goodison in the Year's first Derby . In a scrappy game , with us stll smarting from the 0-3 , its tight . Scrappy . Nevertheless , Lee Carsley , with one of the most unlikely Merseyside Derby winning goals , scores in the St. End goal . Cue , Iconic Everton Imagery , as The Piley-On , with Hibbo's feet visible , and Timmy atop , will forever warm the hearts of St. Domingan's , as we close out the match , 1-0 . The end of 2004 saw 2 defeats . Another loss to Chelsea and a , 2-5 hiding off
Tottenham . No matter , this side was made of sterner stuff . It would have to be , as Gravesen , the heartbeat of the side - or so we thought , departed for Real Madrid before Hogmany was out . Portsmouth were defeated - again , Plymouth , ditto , in the F.A. Cup , then Sunderland , then Norwich , late one Goodison February evening . And still we rolled along . The talk of a fourth placed - Champions League spot ; fight between ourselves and the Bealzebubs , had largely been ridiculed by the National Media . However , following a loss to The Mancs , 0-2 , we produce our finest performance , not just in a season , but I would argue in a decade , as we utterly dismantle Aston Villa at their place , as Mikel Arteta makes his debut and looks like hes played with Cahill since they were boys . Two defeats in two weeks , the first at Grey Skull , as Timmy scores a Kop End cracker but we go down , 1-2 , the week after Blackburn beat us . Nevertheless , 2 wins in a fortnight , Crystal Palace Mulahd 4-0 , as Vaughny takes Asbo's Record of Youngest Premiership Scorer , and gives us the second-different recipient of that honour in two years . On the Wednesday night , Goodison enjoys her finest night , certainly since the 4-4 , but some argue - for noise , since Bayern Munich . It was THAT loud , as Asbo spat the Dummy and Ferdinand was Bullied by The Big Man , whom scores the only goal as we defeat United 1-0 , our first victory over them under David Moyes . The roof near came off , as they say . Awesome night . One more victory , over The Barcodes , saw us nearly there . A typical Highbury Hiding as we bade farewell to the Marble Halls with a 0-7 Coating . Quelle surprise ... We then go to Bolton on the final day , and Cars' , scores in front of us and runs away with 4 fingers raised . Uncle L.C.A.B. and Bluefitzy, of this Parish - an' my Young Firm , were in Row A . There's pictures somewhere . So , there we were . 4th place secured , and , at that stage at least , elimination of The Vermin from their beloved Big Ears . Well , we all know what happened there . Still , Everton Football Club had over-performed . Every Man Jack of Us - and Woman Jacqueline of Us. Moreover , Tony Hibbert had been awesome . He had become a Fan's Favourite due to his enthusiasm and crunching tackles , and talk of an International Call-Up was no longer reserved to Bellefield . Indeed , Hibbo was the ACTIM Top Right Back in the Premier League . He played the third most games of anyone in the Squad , behind Kilbane and Carsley . He made 39 First Team starts and another one as a Substitute .
2005/06 was the most antipicipated Summer at L4,4EL . However , unfortunately for Young Tony , Moyes purchased Phillip Neville from Manchester United , thus placing pressure to even make the Everton First Team , never mind England . Still , The Gaffer went with Neville in a Midfield role , as our Season got underway early , with the prestigious Champions League Qualifying Round Tie , against Villareal . We were defeated by an outstanding outfit , though only narrowly , 1-2 , as Goodison witnessed both Gold Numbers on the Players Back's for the one and only time , to
date , and also the Majesty of Juan Roman Riquelme .
Our League Campaign began with the usual defeat off the Mancs , 0-2 , and a win over Blackburn . On the Wednesday , it was off to Spain , to ultimately be beaten 1-2 , but only after the most atrocious decision that Pierre-Luigi Collina ever made in his long career as he disallows a perfectly legitimate Duncan Ferguson Header near the end of the game , which stood at 1-1 at the time . It destroyed a side which were patently over-matched , and they broke away near the end as we let our heads go down . It was not a surprise , but it was a shame . So , we were in , we were out . Eufa Cup it is then . Well , no actually , but first we get beat 2 League games in a row . Fulham away and Redknapp's Portsmouth , 0-1 , as Johnson scores a cracker in the Gwladys Street . On the Thursday , My Mucka , bluefitzy , makes his way to Bucheresti to see us completely capitulate , 1-5 . Thus , we are , in effect out of all European Competition by September 15 - some going , when you consider it was in 2 Separate Disciplines .
The Premier League form was no better . Defeats against Arsenal and a home loss to Bainsey's Wigan just told us that the , Up-Down , Annual thing was still in full effect . After beating Dinamo Bucherest at home 1-0 , as Timmy opens his Euro account , we then lose 3 out of four . Simon Davies gets us a win at St. Andrews , Birmingham , and Middlesborough were despatched the following week . However , I travelled to West Bromwich with My Mate , Sandy , and the only thing either of us took from the game was his love for their Balti Pies , as we were blitzed , 0-4 . 2 more wins and a draw , before a run of , 4 defeats in a row , two of them , 0-4 - Bolton and Vila , and a 1-3 reverse against The Vermin at Goodison . However , Timmy Cahill scoring with three minutes remaining to secure the points at Sunderland , on the final day of 2005 , which saw of go on our best run of the Campaign . our next defeat came in an F.A. Cup 4th Round Replay , 1-4 at Chelski . A win , another defeat before two excellent home victories , 3-1 versus Bolton , and 4-1 against Aston Vanilla , before yet another 1-3 hiding at The Bealzebubs in the Grey Skull Derby . 3 draws and two losses in the next 5 saw a rescinding of our good start to 2006 . Indeed , we would gain only one victory from our last 7 games which of course manifested itself in our final League standing of 11th . It was a disappointment rather than a calamity but it did illustrate the potential of the squad if we could only add a body or two . Now , where've I heard THAT before , I wonder ...??? Anthony James Hibbert , playing through an injury for much of the second half of the Season made 38 First Team Starts , and of course , did not score a goal . Of any description . One other event , was the untimely and devastating to Evertonians , of The Last Of The Corinthians , Brian Labone , whom suffered a Heart
Attack , following - of course it was , a night out talking about and with Santo Domingans .
As L4 , 4EL readied itself for the impending 2006/07 , Premier League Campaign , as Andy Johnson was the Headline Purchase from Crystal
Palace , Tony Hibbert did not take part in his normal Pre-Season routine . This was due to his having infected by the ; Cryptosporidium Parasite . This is a Water-Born Infectant , and the symptoms are like a particulaly nasty stomach flu . Water retention is a major issue . Thus , for a Footballer , undergoing Pre-Season Fitness Training , it was an issue . Indeed , he would not appear until September and even then , would play just 4 games before once more being out until February . He also suffered - as did many Merseyside Footballers ; a high profile Burglary . Fortunately , unlike Jags , he was not home and thus , lost only possessions . Silver Linings / Clouds ....
The side itself , however , began well enough . AJ got a Home Debut goal - well , it was a huge deflection , but who's complaining ...??? We go to Blackburn and draw , then Tottenham and win for the first time since Lineker scored our winner . The week after , the Vermin come to Town . With the side now showing incredible self-belief and will to win , despite the previous Season's tailing-off , we attack them from the off . I've said this before within these quarters , but if you see Timmy's surreptitious Head-Lock upon Alonso in the build-up to our second goal is absolute microcosm of our mindset that afternoon . We were forceful , dominant but cool . AJ's pace terrified them , an' Me La couldn't beat us on his own that time , as Andy Johnson gave us yet another piece of EFC Iconography , with his 3 - 0 fingers gesture . It was very , very sweet indeed , an' the first time that I had ever witnessed us scoring 3 against them in a League Game . As I say , Suuuuuusssss ,..!!! Typically Everton though , from the RS match on September 9 - Hibbo picks up his first Premier League Red Card in the 1-1 draw a the Barcodes on September 21 , we would not collect another 3 points until beating Sheffield United on October 21 - 5 League games later . After knocking Luton out of the League Cup , 0-4 at their place , we have a draw , then 3 consecutive 0-1 losses , two of them against Arsenal , seeing to our exit from the League Cup courtesy of Adebayor .
A win , a draw , a hiding at Old Trafford , 0-3 . We beat West Ham , then lose to Pompey and Chelski in consecutive matches , as two wins and a draw see out 2006 . 2007 seemed more of an Annus Horribilus , as we lose to Man' City on New Year's Day , then are battered out the F.A. Cup , 1-4 at home to Blackburn - it was not pretty . The week after saw American Film Actor , Sylvester , " Ro-cky!!! .." Stallone paraded on the Goodison Turf , brandishing Merchandise from head to toe . The scarf above his head , the full works . Peeps even have it as their Avatar - My
Mate , Ijj' , for example . However , it was neither much help on the day as we struggle to a 1's each stalemate , nor in the longer financial term . Robert Earl ..??? Robert Schmearl ,... We beat Wigan , then endure a Grey Skull nils each , before taking our revenge upon Blackburn Rovers for Pulling Our Pants Down , in the F.A. Cup , as we beat them , 1-0 . Spurs vanquish us at Goodison , as the Boo-Boys came out for the first time under Moyes , as Hibbo comes back for a game but is injured and ruled out for a further 6 weeks , before we go to Watford and win - we usually do , in fairness . On March 3 , Myself an' Me Boi , Sandy , trek to Sheffield United . The game is remarkable for 2 things ; one , A.J's " Dive " - which was not a dive for our equalising penalty , which initiated a Media Storm , and resulted in the Ginger One taking a DVD of such incidents which we had been denied throughout the Season , ( which Keith Hackett , the Ref' Supremo concurred with ,..) . The other event of note , was after snapping his Metatarsal , Timmy was prostate in their area . Phillip Jagielka , Captain of the Opposition at this stage , with the game going
on , proceeds to help up , then assist off the playing area , one Timmy The Convict . A Class Act , on every level , Jags . Knew it that day , an' I still know it today . A fine home victory over The Gunners as A.J. scores our goal , then a draw at Vanilla - as Tony Hibbert returns to the team , before battering Fulham 4-1 at The Old Lady . A draw , then a late goal , McFadden's best in a Blue Jersey , sees us vanquish Charlton Athletic , prior to a defeat at the Boleyn Ground , West Ham . On April 25th , a Wednesday Evening , attempting to put out a Garden Fire , Alan James Ball Jnr , suffered a Heart Attack and died . Everton FC saw an out-pouring of grief akin to that of Labby 12 months earlier . We had lost , The Greatest Of Them All . On the Saturday , as luck would have it , I was very ill and missed my first home game in many a year . Moreover , Asbo Rooney , signed in a blaze of flash-bulbs and microphones alongside Tony Hibbert , now returned in a Manchester United shirt . Not only did he wear it , but upon scoring , kisses the badge . Well , after being brought up how he was , and having saw the naked grief of both the Family , Club Representatives and Evertonians generally , he still chose to disrespect a man who was twice the player he'll ever be , won a trophy Asbo willnever win , and as a Bolton Lad , showed more respect to Everton FC than a someone purporting to have supported us since boyhood , and whom had done very nicely thank you , from his association with Santo Domingo . Anyway , its why I call him Asbo ; Class-less little Mufuka as far as I'm concerned , but its all about opinions , I suppose . Incidentally , after racing into a two goal lead , Turner , our Young Debutant in Goal , makes a howler of an error . Its all they need as , smelling blood , and certainly fear , come back to overwhelm us , 2-4 . We beat Portsmouth and draw at Stamford Bridge in our final 2 games . We end up in 6th position in a Campaign of some real High's but also some Downer Days , as European Qualification was once more achieved . Still , there was progress . That much was undeniable . Tony Hibbert endured his unluckiest season in his career to date as regards injuries , as he made 12 starting appearances with another 1 as Substitute .
Summer 2007 , passed relatively stress free at Casa Santo Domingo . No real outgoings . Beat's had patently not worked , which was a shame for both parties as well as his best mate in football , Andrew Johnson . As for incomings , David Moyes really was putting the pieces of the jigsaw together now , as he snapped up Phil Jagielka from relegated Sheffield United - some Blade told me this was happening as I left their ground in March ; Oraculer- as they might say , btw ...; and Leighton Baines , Wigan's excellent Young Captain , allied to a last minute of the window purchase , Ayegbeni Yakubu for £12M from Middlesborough . We began with an opening day win over Wigan . On the Wednesday , we go to Spurs and , after waiting 20 years for a " Win Bus .." , then 2 come along at once !!! ; as we pick up our second victory there in 12 months , 3-1 . The day after the Transfer Window closes , Ayegbeni Yakubu scores a Debut Goal within minutes - and unveils , " The Dove Of Love " , for the first time , as we go on to claim the points , 2-1 . We were defeated by The Mancs at The Old Lady , then have the home leg of the Eufa Cup Knockout Qualifying Round , as we play host to Metallist Kharkiv . We struggle , as the game finishes one's each , and not many Blues are filled with optimism for a Continental jaunt this season - and an aside ; this week also saw the admission of one , L.C.A.B. , to G.O.T. Fuk knows what happened to him ...??? . A defeat and 2 wins , one in the League Cup , before a nightmare trak to Ukraine , to play Metallist Kharkiv . In a stormer of a game , we come back to win 3-2 which not only sees us through , but is the catalyst for our going on a run in the competition . Our next two games are both unlucky defeats , the first to a late winner at The Barcodes and the other by the odd goal in 3 at in the Derby at Goodison as , Tony Hibbert chases Gerrard from the half-way line , but tackles him inside the box , and is dismissed and Lisa Simpson scores from the Penalty spot , as The Bealzebubs turn us over , 2-1 .
However , Kharkiv really was a catalyst . Despite those losses , and they were both unlucky , we go on a 7 game run where we win 6 . The latest in the sequence being the 7-1 Coating of The Mackems - Sunderland , as we all began to see that this team had , Honest To God , Potential . Next , came a stalemate against Pompey ,away , on December 1st . Between then , and December 28 , we play 9 games domesticaly and abroad . We lose 2 . The first our annual beating at Old Trafford and the other another Arsenal Arse-Kick , 1-4 at Goodison Park , as we bade farewell to
2007 . A Nightmare of an F.A. Cup defeat at home to Oldham Ahletic was the second in a sequence of 3 wins , three losses . Another of the defeats was the First Leg of the first League Cup Semi Final we had been involved in since 1984 . In truth , we were still , just , over-matched when playing the Chelski's , etc . This became evident as they arrived at The Old Lady and beat us 1-0 without us putting up much of a struggle . We were still ,
" Happy To Be There ..." , kinda , sorta ... Two Premier League draws and a win , before we face the Norwegians - no , Not The RS thi time , but rather , Brann Bergen in the Eufa Cup , twice in a eight days . We triumph 2-0 at their place , and trounce them 6-0 a our gaff , playing perhaps the best football ever produced by an Everton side in European Competition . We go to The Council House , Mancheser City and win again , with Jo' ," I'm the REAL Fod , Fod " , Lescott particulaly enjoying his goal celebration as I recall . Then Portsmouth are despatched at
Goodison , prior to our going to Fiorenze , Italia , in the Eufa Cup , Last 16 , First Leg .
Once more , in a performance , unlike most of the Season but almost a replica of the Chelsea Home Game weeks previously , we utterly fail to turn up and are beaten 2-0 . A victory away at Sunderland is a perfect , Shot In The Arm , as we required something . That was for certain . The Italians duly arrived at The Old Lady , not really expecting too mucxh , following our First Leg capitulation , How wrong could they be ...??? In a performance even better at times than the Brann Bergen one , lauded by some many , we drag back the two goals , one an absolute corker from Mikel Arteta which , upon hitting the net , as regads noise reverberation was up there with Duncan's '05 Man' United strike . The match goes to Extra-Time and Penalties , and of course , heartbreakingly , Jags , fair play for stepping up , has his saved and we are defeated . However , this time it was , With Honour . We gave it our all . It wasn't quite enough . Do better next time , etc . A draw and two League defeats , the second being a 1-0 defeat by The Vermin , at the Deep End . In our final 6 games we have 2 wins two draws , 2 losses . One of the draws is versus Aston Villa at our place . In the bouncing down rain , Pip Neville thinks one of his rare mis-hit strikes has won it for us . Alas , it hadn't , as they come back , like they always do against us to salvage a point . No matter , a Final Day home win over Newcastle sees us secure 5th place and yet another Eufa Cup opportunity . Tony Hibbert plays 29 matches from the start with another 6 as Substitute , as , all in all , we have another excellent
Season . However , he suffers medial ligament damage in our last away game , a defeat at the Emirates and is out for some months , seriously disrupting his Pre-Season to the extent that he didn't actually have one .
Optimism abounded at L4 4EL to such an extent during the Sumer of 2008 , that the record breaking tansfer of a very tall , Screech / Side-Show Bob Looky-Likey from Belgian whom no-one had neither heard , nor could pronounce his name once we were aware of it , was nevertheless met with fervent anticipation . We believed we had a side now . Not the best in the Division , but certainly not the worst , and one , which on its day could give anybody , the top 4 included , a game . Our first game was a travesty of a loss to Ince's Blackburn Rovers , 2-3 . We then beat West Bromwich Albion , lose to Portsmouth , heavily , 0-3 , then go to Stoke and pinch an excellent victory , 2-3 , as Arteta announces that he is back . Then come two draws , the first a 2-2 in the Europa League as it is now termed , as Standard Liege - Screechio's old team , come to Goodison - after putting up a similar performances against The RS over 2 legs in the Champions League Qualifying Round ; and gain an impressive 2-2 draw , effectively dismissing us at the first hurdle . A draw , a loss to Blackburn , and another Goodison Derby No-Show , as we have two dismissed and concede the same amount of goals withou reply , precedes our journey to Belgium for the formaliies of the second leg . We are of course dismissed as expected . This was on October 2nd . Between then and November 30 we play 9 matches . We draw 2 and lose two , but resurgence is in the
air . However , injury is a constant threat , and indeed would come to cost us a King's Ransom by the Season's end .
In yet a further Aston Villa last-minute heartbreak thing - perhaps the worst of them all as that little horror , Ashley Young scores in stoppage
time , after Jo' Lescott's celebration for his - believed ; equaliser actually created most of that time . Ho-hum . It was a heavy psychological blow but we were made of sterner stuff these days and the , all-for-one spirit really kicked in . We play 4 more games in 2008 , winning three of them , drawing the other . We put Keith Alexander - R.I.P's ; Macclesfield out of the F.A. Cup without much drama and avoiding a potential Banans Skin . A victory over Hull City before two trips to Grey Skull in 6 days . The first in the Premier League as Timmy becomes our highest scorer at Grey Skull since Dixie , and equalises with literally minutes left . I went beserk . I swear it . Mad Arse McGuinty , that night alright . Anyway , I went on me own on the Monday . For the Cup Game I got all kinds of tickets so , Me Boy , Me Young Firm , Brother-In-Law , Our Johnboy , Me Bessies - Blue an' Red , an' assorted Scalls an' Ne'erdowells , trek the 500 yards or so from ours to The Deep End . However , instead of our usual resigned pessimism , ths time we actually - don't say it too loud , but ; fancy it ... We hear upon entry that Arteta has a training injury - of course he has , and misses the game . No matter . We take it to them , and indeed take the lead . Lescott nodding in Timmy's header which was going in anyway . Before Me La gets his normal 30 yarder to bring us all back to Goodison to do it all again .
Leading up to the replay we face Arsenal and draw and Man' United and are narrowly vanquished , 0-1 . I won't go overboard about the replay night . Suffice to say , that we again take it to them . Goodison is packed to the rafters and , Oracula that I am , My final words upon leaving Me Boss, RS Mucka , Big Mark Davies , were ; " You haven't met Gosling yet ,.. " I was in fact clutching at straws as he countered with , The Ladyboy , Me La , etc . Still , who was laughing now , My Road End Friend ...??? Dan Gosling becomes Super Dan Gosling after an injury time Park End strike , and the decibel level is again of Fiorentina / United '05 proportions . So , Onwards Evertonians .... In a serendiptous occurence , we are drawn a home to Aston Vanilla in the 5th Round of The Cup . Finally , we show up properly , and utterly dismiss them from the competition , 3-1 . As I say , Onwards ,... Next come Middlesborough , as folks begin to realise that we are one game - THIS game , away from Wembley . Hmmm .... We needn't have fretted as we win 2-1 though - PNS . even despite their taking a lead , the game went without , given the occasion , without any great scares . OMFG !!! Wem-Ber-Ley !!! Really , Really !!! The kids go bananas and friends I haven't heard of for years , suddenly recall how much they DIGS L.C.A.B. As I say , Hmmmmm,... Our problem , however , is the remaing teams in the Competition were Arsenal , Chelsea and Manchester United . We draw the Mancs . Our form leading up to the game is , Iffy . Win against Stoke , lose to Pompey , beat Wigan , prior to yet another corker of a match against Aston Villa . This time 3-3 . Then comes The Semi Final ....
Due to various factors , primarily the tickets and eventual scoreline , THIS was our Cup Final , only we didn't know it then . I take a Mini-Bus full of My Very Bestest Peoples - every one a Raw Arse Blue . We ariive at the Stadium to discover tha Asbo and Ronaldo are not even at the Ground ... Despite the fact that we have no Centre Forward , with Yak having done his knee , we give as good as we get , though without ever really looking truly threatening . The tie goes into extra-time , and finally to the Playing Field Levelling , penalty Shoot-Out . Hibbo goes missing when Davey's looking for hands being raised . Timmy of course takes one , but misses. His face was the Archetypal image of Heartbreak . However , our other spot kicks are beautifully despatched by Bainsey , Vaughany , and , Cohones of Granite, Pip Neville and in a moment of Sweeeeet retribution , Jags steps up to see us into the F.A. Cup Final . All memories of Fiorentina are instantly erased , as he fires home , an' begins the now famous , Fingers as Pistols , pose ... I love him so ,... Having lost both Anichebe and Arteta in one game at The Barcodes - DO NOT think we've forgotten , RS Tawt Nolan ; as well as Yak , allied to sundry knocks and scrapes , we stumble our way to a 6th place Premier League finish , as the Management , Players and Staff are measured for their Second Suit within months . As for the game itself , it was indeed , One Step Too Far . This team ,
rather , this Squad , had performed miracles this Campaign . Each member , over and above expectations , but it was not to be . We take a surprising first minute lead , as Saha goes into the Wembley record books . However , it is , Men Against Boys , as , unfortunately , they identify Tony Hibbert's weakness in the air , and continuously float balls over his shoulder for the on running Cole or Malouda . It is so bad , so marked , that Moyesey is forced to replace him at half time . Naturally devastating the Lad , but he bares it in Good Grace . We do not have another serious attack for the rest of the match , as Droghba and Lampard , and in truth , Malouda , put the game , and the Trophy tantalisingly out of reach . Our season thus ends in disappointment as regards Silverware , but in so far as making , certainly this Evertonian , as proud as I have been with my team in at least a Decade . Possibly two . The spirit in the Camp was worth an extra man . Injuries came and went but they just kept rolling along . Our League position qualified us for Europa League in our own right , 6th position . Tony Hbbo made 23 starts and one Substitution appearance . Outstanding Blues .
I got a phone call during the late Summer , 209 . Everton were about to leave for a Tour of the U.S.A. Indeed , they were at the Airport . The call went thus ;... " Lescott knows about the - City ; bid . He's got a titty Lip ,..." This is a Player , can we remind ourselves , that 3 years ago was playing Championship football , and whom was now an England International and had just made two appearances for his Club at Wembley . Yet he had a , " Titty Lip ..." Anyway , suffice to say , Elephant Man's antics completely took the shine off the Post-Wembley Love-In , bringing us all back down to reality . With both him and Man' City , " At the Bollox ..." Moyes , having refused to do precisely that , finally capitulated and agreed to get the best terms possible . Well , that he certainly did do , as we literally Burgled them out of £24M for someone not always our First Choice Centre Half . The money was quickly spent on a Russian International , Dinyar Bilyaletdinov , Silvain Distin , a solid and reliable Centre Half from Portsmouth and John Heitinga , The Dutch Right Back whom could also play Centre Back if required . We , I think most would agree , got the better end of the bargain .
I suppose , in retrospect , we could have foreseen what was about to unfold , as Arsenal , our Serial , Arse-....See What I did there ...??? ; Spankers , came to Town on the Opening Day . With us all still , What About Wembley Though ,..??? ; and Lescott making his final , reluctant - Cheeky Ungrateful Mufuka , appearance in Royal Blue , we were taken to The Cleaners and Spanked 1-6 . We have had some bizarre Premier League results against The Gooners , but this was as bad a performance as any . They could've gotten another 3 or four , easily . Moreover , our goal came near the end with them not really trying . Big Mad Fod , was sold the following day as Ginger sought to Act . Sigma Olamouc were beaten over 2 legs in the Europa League Qualifier - As Hibbo was Sent Off in the First Leg ., with a hideous defeat at Burnley , as Saha misses a spot kick , sandwiched in-between . We beat Wigan , lose away from home to Fulham - don't we always ...??? Our next 3 games are a 4-0 win over A.E.K. Athens , with the Best Fans I've ever witnessed at Goodison Park , a 3-0 victory over Blackburn in the Premier League , and a 4-0 triumph versus Hull City to eliminate them from the League Cup . Two wins , 2 draws as Bily opens his account in the 1-1 versus Wolves . On the Wednesday evening , this Internet Phenomenon , joined our Fearless Boss-Man #1 , or B'Mizzzzllle , as I know him , and Monty , Legend of this Parish , in the Alex Young Suite to eat Scouse and watch us get demolished, 0-5 by Benfica in the Stadio La Luz , Lisboa . It was awful . Dreadful , as they could have had a load more , De Maria , Luiz , the Centre Forward who's name escapes me , plays with Suarez for Uruguay , I think . Him , anyway . I think Ramierez was playing too , but couldn't swear to it . What was for certain , is our , Half-Team , of Rag-Tags and Kids -
Captained , incidentally by one , Anthony James Hibbert , were patently , ridiculously over-matched . Still , we had a time , and the Scouse was
fine . Our next 4 games were of a similar bent , with 3 losses and yet another home draw to Vanilla . By now , the injuries were genuinely crippling us . Yak , Arteta nor Vicor were back , Neville was out , as was Timmy, as Leon and Screechio also picked up knocks . We were treading water but not progressing . A win and 3 straight defeats , the latter a 2-0 Whooping off The Bealzebubs at Goodison as Lisa Simpson slides on her knees towards the Paddock . Vomit-inducing . While we continued to progress in Europe - the Benfica games made no real difference in a League System , our League form suffered . Our next 4 games in the Premier were all drawn , and we were in the bottom 4 on Christmas Day . An improvement was required . Urgently . The good news is , the Loan Signing of Landon Donovan , The United States Captain , from L.A. Galaxy .
We defeated Burnley at home on December 28 , 2-0 . From there we go on a run . Carlisle , in a throw-back of a Cup Tie , were vanquished at Goodison . We lose once in January - to Birmingham , and again in February as The Vermin Triumph over us again , as we don't show up , once more , at Grey Skull , 1-0 Nevertheless , our Season spectacularly turns itself around , as first Chelsea , via a Saha Super-Show , Sporting
Lisbon , in the home leg of a Europa Cup Knockourt Tie , then Manchester United are , in the latter case , not just beaten , but second half , were taken to the cleaners , as our Kids , Rodwell and Gosling , Put Them to the Sword , and we triumph 3-1 . Another Lisbon No-Show ; this time at Sporting , sees us eliminated from Continental Competiion . Spurs beat us the following week in London , as Our Goalkeeper makes an error . Nevertheless , Normal Service is Resumed , with a 5-1 Bilitzing of Hull City , before 2 wins , two draws . Another two draws - the second of which was at Vanilla , as Me self , Me Young Firm an' Sharpy's Barmy Army take off to Birmingham . Suffering even more injuries on the night , we are awesome , we take the lead wice . Timmy simply imperious . He is our main attacking threat until Johnny H is forced to withdraw . At which point Convict #1 drops into the holding role and starts knocking ten-yard balls like he's been doing it all his career . Superb . It being Aston Vanilla , of course , they get a last minute , wholly unmerited equaliser , and all these draws were now costing us, as the Lucifers were - though only just ; pulling away from us . Three wins and a draw brought our Campaign to a close . In what , under the Injuries , Lescott situation , etc , was a Monumental Effort by All Concerned , we just fell short at the end . Given the discrepancy between our First Choice XI and most other teams , in terms of Monetary Value ; never mind the fact that many were long-term absentees . We finish in , under the circumstances , a respectable 8th position . Tony Hibbert makes 27 starts and a further 3 Substitute appearances .
The Summer of 2010 was perhaps the most frusrating and thus voiciferous amongst disgruntled Evertonians at the lack of Transfer Activity . People could see that this was undoubtably our best Squad since winning the Title and to let it drift apart through lack of finance amounted to a veriable tragedy in Royal Blue Eyes . Our Opening Game was away at Blackburn Rovers , as our Goalkeeper makes an uncharacteristic error and they score the only goal to defeat us . A win , two draws and 2 losses followed . It was going to be the way of it . One of the draws was a remarkable 3-3 against Manchester United with us coming back with 2 goals in 4 minutes near the end , thus scoring three goals in consecutive years against United since ,.. well , a long time . 2 draws and a victory , then the RS Come to Town . We completely turn up , attitude , endeavour and ability all applied to maximum effect , as Timmy , yet again , proves what a Legend he is by grabbing our first goal , and with Yakubu simply unplayable , and Arteta finally achieving what he had threatened against them for years and bagging a cracker , we go on to win , 2-0 . So , finally , Season Under Way ,... Well , you would think so , yes . However ,.. A win , 3 draws and a defeat followed . The Squad was ever more ravaged by injury . A draw against Birmingham . West Brom come and give us a hiding as I have to leave a HalfTime , ravaged by the Steds and sweating up a T-Shirt an hour . Two draws , a victory , at Man City , Naturellement ; another stalemate , a defeat . This is how it has gone . My favourite game this Season , Tottenham at Goodison as the 3 points were secured . On the Saturday , My Young Firm and Meself jumped in Sharpy's Motor and headed up to Scabunthorpe - " ..I've been Southampton , but I've ..." ; .. for a Royal , F.A. Cup day . A throw-back to the Old Days , we had a Ball as we win 5-1 . The Sunday after , we enjoy the best RS Derby in years as we go behind , then are the lead as Distin then Beckford score in the Anfield Road , before they get a Penalty to level things . 2 more draws - one at home to Chelsea in the Cup , and an unlucky defeat at The Emirates . Then came a corker of a game against Blackpool at The Old Lady , which ends 5-3 . A lacklustre showing at Bolton where David Moyes looked as low as Ive ever seen him , before a trip to Stamford Bridge . Now , I went with Me Peoples an had a really good day out , but tbh , due to personal shizzzz, this was turned into of my worst days of recent years , despite our magnificent showing on the Park , as first Bainsey equalises with minutes remaining , then with Bainsey missing , we manage to overcome them on Penalties !!! Celebrations were Legendary and if you weren't there , you want to have been . Fabulous , but as I say , personally devoeing . Oh well ,... We grab another rare victory over Sunderland , and as dreams of another Wembley Trip begin to fill our heads , Reading , the Plum draw of those sides left in , come to Goodison and , limited though they are, have a Game Plan and stick to it , and , in so doing , thoroughly deserve their victory , as they eliminate us 0-1 and went on to our Favourite Premiership Ground- Eastlands for a Quarter Final Tie . Heartbroken , didn't quite say it . Since then , and at the time of compilation , we have had a furrther 2 wins and a draw , finally seeing us draw away from the spectre of the feared Relegation Zone - which this year , stretches to nearly halfway up the Division . Alas , it appears , especially in view of Bolton or Stoke making the F.A. Cup Final , that 5th place in the Premier League will secure the final European Berth . The Campaign being symptomatic of our Clubs difficulties at present . Having tottered on the brink as regards pushing for success , injuries , lack of form , the Manager just not fancying them any more , we now totter but in the opposite direction . Pienaar goes , for next to nothing , yet is not replaced . Thus , we just throw away a Trump Card for , granted £3M , but which , in the greater scheme of things is , well , Peanuts - Now SEE WTF I did there ...??? Damn ...!!! Moreover , whispers of impending sales od Rodders , Screchio , Johnny , continue to raise their ugly heads . We shall of course , see . Though one Prays either for Divine Intervention or alternatively a Group of Right Minded , Rich Football Supporters whom can identify the latent potential at L4,4EL , irrespective of a Wooden Stadium , and resolve to take us forwards . We currently stand in 8th place .
Due to injury , Tony Hibbert has made only 9 First Team Starts , and of course , has not scored a goal . Ever .
There has been a lot of things said about Anthony James Hibbert by Evertonians . Much of it less than complimentary , and to my mind , generally out of order . He has never professed to be Daniel Alves , or Michon . He is Tony Hibbert . Decent at some things , not so great at others . What he IS , however , ALWAYS , is utterly and completely committed to the cause of Everton FC . No matter what the cause , nor whom the opposition . Injuries have hampered him , that is fact . What is also fact is his finishing the Top English Right Back , according to the ACTIM in 2005 , and also that it is fact that he was due for an England Call-Up around the same period . His Tackling / Jockeying is amongst the best in the League , and he is willing to play anywhere to represent Everton Football Club . However , it must be said , that the attacking aspect of his game , has not ,
" Trained On .." and also he is susceptable to a high ball over his shoulder . Still , after 240 First Team Appearances , having came through the Academy , is one of only two Players - with Leon , to lift a Trophy whilst an Evertonian - The F.A. Youth Cup , and moreover , is now Santo Domingo's Premier Representative , as regards appearances in European Football . Furthermore , he has become the latest in a long line of Scapegoats at our Club - ironically its often the one's who would run through a brick wall to play for Everton that they select . Undies , even Timmy last season , took some . It is not Big and its not Clever , for me . But there you are . Moreover , if he EVER scores , These >>> , WILL RIOT -
I don't Do Riots , anymore . What with me being L.C.A.B. , an' all ; ...But These WLL !!!
Therefore , Ladies and Gentlemen of The Congregation , thank The Almighy in his provision of Anthony James Hibbert . A Blue since a Boy and with the ability that God gave him , tries his very best every time he dons the Royal Blue . If only everyone had the same attitude . He is a Proper Santo Domingan and thus deserves his place in the Goodison Hall Of Fame .
Amen .
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Look after Your Peoples .
Peace Out .
The Catholc Reverand L.C.A.B.
Written in Britain .
" .. I know My Peoples hearin' me ... Holler if y'all need me ... Word
Last edited:
