The Horror

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Bluelladevil

Player Valuation: £750k
Of the players bought by previous managers, the period of time until their contracts expire will result in the following expenditure (figures taken from websites):

Sigurdsson 30 June 2022: £100,000 pw x 141 weeks = £14,100,000
Tosun 30 June 2022: £60,000 pw x 141 weeks = £8,460,000
Keane 30 June 2022: £60,000 pw x 141 weeks = £8,460,000
Schneiderlin 30 June 2021: £100,000 pw x 89 weeks = £8,900,000
Walcott 30 June 2021: £100,000 pw x 89 weeks = £8,900,000
Niasse 30 June 2020: £55,000 pw x 37 weeks = £2,035,000
Martina 30 June 2020: £35,000 pw x 37 weeks = £1,295,000

TOTAL: £52,150,000

I suspect some of these figures may be wrong for the amount they are being paid. I would imagine Walcott is on more than £100,000 per week. Also I would expect contracts will include payments of loyalty bonuses.

We saw with Mirallas that we couldn't sell him. Eventually we had to let him go without receiving a fee and I suspect we probably paid him the majority of the total sum owed to him on the remainder of his contract. So it seems highly unlikely we will get rid of many of these players when they are on these wages and lengthy contracts. We could possibly sell Keane given his age but very little chance of selling the others given their ages and and salaries.

There have been many catastrophic decisions made by Everton FC over the years but appointing Walsh as director of football is right up there as one of the worst (Niasse may have been bought before he joined the club).

When you consider the transfer fees paid to bring these players to the club together with the money paid to them already since they joined, it is a tragedy.

Good luck Mr Brands – if you can shift any of these players then you are a genius.
 
Of the players bought by previous managers, the period of time until their contracts expire will result in the following expenditure (figures taken from websites):

Sigurdsson 30 June 2022: £100,000 pw x 141 weeks = £14,100,000
Tosun 30 June 2022: £60,000 pw x 141 weeks = £8,460,000
Keane 30 June 2022: £60,000 pw x 141 weeks = £8,460,000
Schneiderlin 30 June 2021: £100,000 pw x 89 weeks = £8,900,000
Walcott 30 June 2021: £100,000 pw x 89 weeks = £8,900,000
Niasse 30 June 2020: £55,000 pw x 37 weeks = £2,035,000
Martina 30 June 2020: £35,000 pw x 37 weeks = £1,295,000

TOTAL: £52,150,000

I suspect some of these figures may be wrong for the amount they are being paid. I would imagine Walcott is on more than £100,000 per week. Also I would expect contracts will include payments of loyalty bonuses.

We saw with Mirallas that we couldn't sell him. Eventually we had to let him go without receiving a fee and I suspect we probably paid him the majority of the total sum owed to him on the remainder of his contract. So it seems highly unlikely we will get rid of many of these players when they are on these wages and lengthy contracts. We could possibly sell Keane given his age but very little chance of selling the others given their ages and and salaries.

There have been many catastrophic decisions made by Everton FC over the years but appointing Walsh as director of football is right up there as one of the worst (Niasse may have been bought before he joined the club).

When you consider the transfer fees paid to bring these players to the club together with the money paid to them already since they joined, it is a tragedy.

Good luck Mr Brands – if you can shift any of these players then you are a genius.
Still Silva's fault
 

They’re spending all my season ticket money on that shower!!
What a waste of my £500, I can’t believe how much I’m contributing per player per week
 

Of the players bought by previous managers, the period of time until their contracts expire will result in the following expenditure (figures taken from websites):

Sigurdsson 30 June 2022: £100,000 pw x 141 weeks = £14,100,000
Tosun 30 June 2022: £60,000 pw x 141 weeks = £8,460,000
Keane 30 June 2022: £60,000 pw x 141 weeks = £8,460,000
Schneiderlin 30 June 2021: £100,000 pw x 89 weeks = £8,900,000
Walcott 30 June 2021: £100,000 pw x 89 weeks = £8,900,000
Niasse 30 June 2020: £55,000 pw x 37 weeks = £2,035,000
Martina 30 June 2020: £35,000 pw x 37 weeks = £1,295,000

TOTAL: £52,150,000

I suspect some of these figures may be wrong for the amount they are being paid. I would imagine Walcott is on more than £100,000 per week. Also I would expect contracts will include payments of loyalty bonuses.

We saw with Mirallas that we couldn't sell him. Eventually we had to let him go without receiving a fee and I suspect we probably paid him the majority of the total sum owed to him on the remainder of his contract. So it seems highly unlikely we will get rid of many of these players when they are on these wages and lengthy contracts. We could possibly sell Keane given his age but very little chance of selling the others given their ages and and salaries.

There have been many catastrophic decisions made by Everton FC over the years but appointing Walsh as director of football is right up there as one of the worst (Niasse may have been bought before he joined the club).

When you consider the transfer fees paid to bring these players to the club together with the money paid to them already since they joined, it is a tragedy.

Good luck Mr Brands – if you can shift any of these players then you are a genius.
So, taking a figure from another website it transpires, if I were so inclined, I could hire top rate brass for £340 for two hours.

That means I could have 15,338 goes on her for 2 hours for the same price as them players cost.

That equals 30,676 hours of top rate brass action.

Thats 1,278 days!

It's about 3 and a half years!

So my question to you is?

How much do you charge?
 
snip...

figures taken from websites):

...snip
Websites are great! I only half joke as I suspect that even if they're not right, they are close enough to the truth. £52 million even if they're 20% out would still give us £40 million of outlay on weak players. Arguable about Siggy and Keane but the others are not good enough or who'd I'd expect as first choice for the first team. We have wasted a lot of money on them.
 
It sounds brilliant. You don't even have to be all that good either it appears. I love Everton me. Giz a game.
Looking at that list you don't even have to play on a Saturday.
So all you need to do is keep fit, but that's too much like hard work that, so I reckon being an agent is the way forward for me.
 

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