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Player Valuation: £70m
Probably get absolutely spanked every game, people will say it’s only pre season and then be absolutely crap when the league starts again. Rinse and repeat.

Oh and they have to do it somewhere horrible. The Gobi desert would do me.

Toffee in Jandals

Player Valuation: £20m
The company that did Angry Birds is based in Finland I think. So considering they went to Kenya last year due to the Sportpesa sponsorship, a pre-season game or two in Finland is my bet.


Player Valuation: £10m
We will lose 5 consecutive games to ISIS, Al-Qaeda, the KKK, Boko Haram, and Liverpool. Matches to be played in the Sahara Desert, Antarctica and on the moon. The entire squad will be jettisoned into space and lost forever, except for Allardyce and Williams whose body mass keeps them within the moons gravity.

EFC kits will be available for purchase for traveling fans, however only in size XS or XXL and all sales go to Kitbag anyway.


Player Valuation: £70m
playing in the US was the only good pre-season we've had, beating juve, coming close against real. I think we need to testing ourselves against the top teams again to give us a good lift.
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