Paying maintenance - inequality?

[Durham Toffee]

I've taken the bairn to her gymnastics class.

Some proper blerts in here.

Mumsnet ain't got nothing on these melts...

"Eeeeh, and he never pays his maintenance on time. He's on £2,000 a month! The least he can do is pay me for looking after his three kids! He only has them three times a week!"

So that means - of his £2,000 - he pays you £550 per month if my calculations are close. But he has the kids 40% of that month? And a mortgage, bills, shopping to pay for? Petrol too? So he's left with about £50 end of the month?

So what do you pay him, then?

Ffs...

Got a massive bee in my bonnet about this.

I don't mind paying maintenance because it's for my daughter and I'd lie down in traffic for her, but I've got my daughter three nights a week and I'm paying out £250 a month whilst my ex wife had tax credit breaks and benefits coming in too...and her salary isn't to be sniffed at.

I still have to heat my house; buy the bairn clothes; put food on the table. But where's my helping hand? My support? My tax break?

Wondering when this is going to be addressed as a matter of equality??

I remember the solicitor who represented me - and she was a woman - saying that she hated representing other women as it wasn't even challenging anymore.

Mental.

 

[hallamblue]

You would hope that things would have moved forward, but I think this issue is massively weighted in favour of women. I suppose it is because there are more women looking after children most, if not all of the time, but surely it should be on a case by case basis?

 

[nsno-chris]

dafuq is a bairn

 

[orly]

I feel like this is NOT the thread for @DAVIDMOYES

 

[Durham Toffee]

dafuq is a bairn

Howay marra, like.

I cannot be teaching yas words and that.

Yas giving us a proper chew, canny lad.

 

[Paul w]

dafuq is a bairn

Child.

 

[Gladystweet]

Howay marra, like.

I cannot be teaching yas words and that.

Yas giving us a proper chew, canny lad.

Nearly 5 o'clock mate.

 

[Sapie88]

dafuq is a bairn

It's what you get if you touch a hot iron.

 

[nsno-chris]

Howay marra, like.

I cannot be teaching yas words and that.

Yas giving us a proper chew, canny lad.

Welsh??

 

[Durham Toffee]

It's what you get if you touch a hot iron.

Nah, that's a proper knacking finger that, like marra.

 

[LouReedwalkonthewildside]

Must admit the unfairness at times does have me scratching my head. One of the lads I know, his uncle found out his wife was having an affair, they split up and eventually got divorced, she wanted half of everything he had, it went to court and the judge ruled that she was entitled to half of everything, he even had to pay for her barrister. The husband had a big coin collection that he had been collecting since he was a kid, this had to be valued and the ex wife was entitled to half it's value. The lad was telling me that his uncle had bought her a horse, trailer and all the other bits that go with it, he brought it up to his solicitor could she be made to sell the horse and other bits and be made to split that money with him, the reply was that she didn't have too because the horse was bought as a gift.

So she is the one who was shagging around, and the ex husband is made to give her half of everything, even stuff he had before he met her.

 

[Blue Cheese]

If all dads who have sodded off paid for their kids maybe it would be fairer, as it is they don't so it goes through legal channels and as you see it weighs heavily in favour of the mum, this is because a percentage of dads do not pay for their kids so what other option is there. It isn't fair on dads who pay and have no problem paying, tarred with same brush n all that.

 

[CahillsCornerFlag]

Must admit the unfairness at times does have me scratching my head. One of the lads I know, his uncle found out his wife was having an affair, they split up and eventually got divorced, she wanted half of everything he had, it went to court and the judge ruled that she was entitled to half of everything, he even had to pay for her barrister. The husband had a big coin collection that he had been collecting since he was a kid, this had to be valued and the ex wife was entitled to half it's value. The lad was telling me that his uncle had bought her a horse, trailer and all the other bits that go with it, he brought it up to his solicitor could she be made to sell the horse and other bits and be made to split that money with him, the reply was that she didn't have too because the horse was bought as a gift.

So she is the one who was shagging around, and the ex husband is made to give her half of everything, even stuff he had before he met her.

That makes me fume and I don't even know the guy.

The pendulum hath swung in the woman's favour.

 

[LouReedwalkonthewildside]

If all dads who have sodded off paid for their kids maybe it would be fairer, as it is they don't so it goes through legal channels and as you see it weighs heavily in favour of the mum, this is because a percentage of dads do not pay for their kids so what other option is there. It isn't fair on dads who pay and have no problem paying, tarred with same brush n all that.

Have read stories where dad's have given up working because they were better off on benefits because of the amount of maintenance they had to pay.

 

[roydo]

Signed over the house, a wedge of my pension, half the savings, car, everything but the CD player and CDs.

£1300 a month maintenance.

Could afford it, just. When I couldnt, we changed it.

Nearly 20 years on, still mates, sort of, two grown up sons who have never really known any difference with Mum and Dad being friendly, just in different houses.

Lucky I know, but we did it in a grown up way, for the right reasons, and all parties have turned out sound.