Limericks

[Allezfan]

Post your own here, lids.

Preferably about either everton or GOT members.

There once was a welshie called Kurt,
Who loved to act like a blert,
And what he did to sheep,
Would just make you weep,
A grapple, a thrust and a squirt.

There once was a striker called Brett,
Who had trouble finding the net,
Man couldn't score,
Even if given a whore,
Blonde, Red Head or Brunette.

 

[Millea]

I'd find Ijjy's from CLH not long ago if I weren't on mobile. They were boss.

 

[heatmeiser]

There once was a man
who ate some corn
it tasted funny
then he realised it was ok

 

[chicoazul]

There was a poster called Bryan
Who about takeovers was always lying,
John Henry took him for a quick bite
He had breakfast in bed with Kenwright,
He hasn't been to Nandos with Saudi princes but he's trying.

 

[chicoazul]

There was a really fat wool called Goat
Who could be seen from Wales because of his bloat
The bad weirdo for Moyes is gay
And listens to music thinking he's from LA,
Whenever he sweats he creates a natural moat.

 

[bluemangroup]

There once was poster called Davek
Who's moaning was a pain in the neck
Now that Moyes has gone
Davek has shone
And he's truely earnt my respec.....t.

 

[chicoazul]

There was a calf hacking wool called Del,
Who's mar for a fiver would suck you well.
Pretending to be Tiger Woods was his thing,
All of his clobber was badly jarg Ping.
Give me a whop wnop you five over par bell.

 

[Allezfan]

I'd find Ijjy's from CLH not long ago if I weren't on mobile. They were boss.

THERE ONCE WAS A GUY CALLED NHD
HE WAS A TOP GUY WHO WOULDN'T HURT A BEE
HE LOVED THE RUNNING MAN
WHILST DRINKING FROM A CAN
WELL IT WASN'T A CUP OF TEA

THERE ONCE WAS A CHAP CALLED GROUCHO
HE CERTAINLY WAS NO SLOUCHO
HE LOVED A GOOD FACT
HE PUT IT IN A PACT
I BET HE'S ACTUALLY QUITE MACHO

THERE ONCE WAS A LAD CALLED MILLEA
HIS FAVE PLAYER WAS DINIYAR BILYA
HE KNOWS HE WAS SH*TE
BUT ONCE FLEW A KITE
I CAN'T THINK WHAT ELSE RHYMES WITH MILLEA

THERE ONCE WAS A BOY CALLED FTY
HE VERY OFTEN ASKED US ALL WHY
HE LOVED EVERTON'S YANK
HE'S A TEENAGER SO PROBABLY ..... YEAH
PROBABLY THE BEST THAT HE'S SHY

THERE WAS A TOP BLUE CALLED TOMMEYE
WHO LIKED TO SPIT OUT HIS DUMMY
BUT WE ALL LOVE HIM LOTS
IF HE BOUGHT THEM ID DRINK HIS SHOTS
TOMMEYE OFTEN MISSES HIS MUMMY

THERE ONCE WAS A LAD CALLED BIGMAC
WHO'D NOT YET EMPTIED HIS SACK
BUT HE'S OFF TO UNI
AND HE'S NOT VERY PUNEY
WAIT TILL A GIRL FINGERS HIS CRACK

THERE ONCE WAS A DUDE CALLED LLAMA
THERE WAS NOBODY WHO COULD BE CALMER
HE LIVES DOWN MY WAY
BUT IS CERTAINLY NOT GAY
MUCH LIKE CARLTON PALMER

There you go.

 

[bluemangroup]

There is a guy with a beard
Who's so right its almost weird
He's Artetafan
He likes man on man
And his brain is rightfully feared.

 

[Allezfan]

There once was a leftback called Baines,
More reliable than fascist trains,
When pursued by Moyes,
He didn't throw out his toys,
Cos he's not a judas like wayne.

 

[bluemangroup]

There was a man who was Uruguay's
Who like to nibble on other guys
The kopite adored
but Luis was bored
And didn't want be at a club of their size.

 

[bluemangroup]

There was a defender called Distin
Who's second job was a milkman
He went door to door
Work was never a chore
Delivering the white stuff, our Slyvain.

 

[BlueLlama]

There's a poster who's called Ijjysmith
His GOT status is that off a myth
Film clips on his twitter
Eats paper in the sh1tter
And the 80s make him go stiff

 

[bluemangroup]

chicoazul
There was a young man from Wigan
Who claims he's scouse, who's he kiddin?
His mother quivered
When his head, she delivered
And now downstairs she's a big'un

 

[Furey1878]

Loitering around GOT
In my current state of ennui
A rather underwhelming Sunday
I must entertain myself in some way
If only the Vienna game kicked off at three...