Life’s unwritten rules.

[goldfinchmule]

Your neighbour uses your outside tap when your on holliday.

 

[Micky_T]

If your wife/girlfriend tells you she's fine, act like she's fine but know she's absolutely not fine and it's all your fault.

 

[Pootsy]

If your wife/girlfriend tells you she's fine, act like she's fine but know she's absolutely not fine and it's all your fault.

Depends on which FINE she uses

If there are two clear notes when pronouncing the word Fi..ne (lower tone moving to higher tone) then you need to do some groundwork and quick
If there is only one note then she isn't thinking about it and therefore she is actually Fine. Virtually High 5 yourself

 

[kev]

The walking distance from your house to the pub is exactly half the distance of the walk home. INDESPUTABLE FACT.

 

[canuckblue]

You don't tug on Superman's cape.
You don't spit into the wind.
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger.
And you don't mess around with Jim.

 

[RufusCat]

Your neighbour uses your outside tap when your on holliday.

first rule of water meters

 

[Exeter_Gently]

If the Kopite cab driver asks who you support,say you don't like footy.

 

[Charles Hawtrey]

Never show an interest in your girlfriend's sister, even if you are.

 

[COYBL25]

Stay in the car when you go to IKEA.

 

[COYBL25]

If your missus asks if you think she’s put weight on, plead the fifth and then leave immediately.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

Yer ma

 

[Andy McGurk]

If the public toilet only has 3 urinals, use one at either end. Bad nobhead/pervert if you pick the middle one.

There’s a couple at work who do it. A flagrant breach of men’s room etiquette!

That said, if a middle urinal is the only available one and it's busy, if mid stream an end urinal becomes available, don't stop halfway through, move, and continue peeing. That's really weird (and witnessed this year)

 

[gonetomorrow]

Depends on which FINE she uses

If there are two clear notes when pronouncing the word Fi..ne (lower tone moving to higher tone) then you need to do some groundwork and quick
If there is only one note then she isn't thinking about it and therefore she is actually Fine. Virtually High 5 yourself

But, if "fine" is used double-quick there's trouble on the horizon and you may have some fancy footwork to perform.
What have I done, or not done, recently?

 

[West Side Charlie]

When the Mrs asks what do you want for your tea, expect something else.

 

[goldfinchmule]

But, if "fine" is used double-quick there's trouble on the horizon and you may have some fancy footwork to perform.
What have I done, or not done, recently?

Recently may not even come in to it.