Match Thread Everton v Sheffield United - Preview, Match Report and MotM Poll

Everton Man of the Match


  • Total voters
    298
  • Poll closed .
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deipnosophist

Player Valuation: £70m
Suzanne Vega’s form has been awful lately. He seems to be homesick for France. Perhaps Snail’s mum might have a quiet talk to him; she really helped Snail with his Potty Syndrome and perhaps she has a spare mattress in one of the unused bedrooms at her gaff (I am assuming Snail has a brother who’s no longer living at home). Grasping at straws, I know, but if she drizzled a little garlic infused olive oil on it, that might lessen Suzanne’s pangs of missing home)
...just putting it out there...
 

Fansince1988

Player Valuation: £50m
Quite possibly. I think the problem with Everton is that when any player with a winning mentality arrives at Everton it is immediately sucked out of them and you are left with a dehydrated husk that simply blows away in the wind
That’s why we need to bring in a group of players that have a winning mentality, the odd one isn’t going to work. Even our manager seems to have had that sucked out of him.
 

NilSatisOptimum

Player Valuation: £70m
Quite possibly. I think the problem with Everton is that when any player with a winning mentality arrives at Everton it is immediately sucked out of them and you are left with a dehydrated husk that simply blows away in the wind
Squad of bunny hugging bed wetters.
 

deipnosophist

Player Valuation: £70m
Squad of bunny hugging bed wetters.
Ironically, those urine soaked mattresses serve very useful purpose in alleviating the symptoms of homesickness. Crusty mattresses (nudge nudge, wink wink) also work. Snail Keane was heard talking to this in a background shot to one of Seamus’ mid week motivational videos for disappointed fans
 

ForeverEverton

Player Valuation: £35m
CA win percentage is currently 46% after today, no win against Wolves and City it will be 44%

Heading towards the general level any other Everton manager was - David Moyes 42%, Roberto Martinez 43%, Ronald Koeman 41% & Marco Silva 40%.

Not sure this guy is anything special!

Carlo Ancelotti P65 W30 D14 L21, W46% D22% L32%
Marco Silva P60 W24 D12 L24, W40% D20% L40%
Ronald Koeman P58 W24 D14 L20, W41% D24% L35%
Roberto Martinez P140 W60 D39 L41, W43% D28% L29%
David Moyes P516 W217 D139 L160, W42% D27% L31%

No matter the manager it all ends nearly the same. Interestingly the lowest lose percentage is Roberto Martinez..........
 
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