Everton Summer Transfer Thread - 2022

[Tony’s Carp]

Stats are generally nonsense of course but I’m fairly sure I seen something about him this week that put him as one of the most statistically efficient forwards in Europe in regards to the goals he gets from the chances made for him. Up there with Lewandowski or something, I’m not joking.

Again I think a lot of that stuff is nonsense but there’s probably some measure of truth in between it being 0% accurate and 100% accurate.

I saw that too but I think you have to remember his stats are skewed by the fact he rarely plays from the start (fresh legs / tiring defenders etc), and also the fact that last season he massively padded his stats across three games against the worst teams in the league.

 

[lorens]

Dzyuba had a public beef with Mykolenko regarding the Ukraine war.

I don't think our PR team would enjoy the signing of both a Russian and a homophobe in the same transfer window haha

I'm Ukrainian and I don't want to see the cowardly Artem Dziuba in Everton

despite the fact that he is a coward, also he is a so-so player and will only suit a team from the bottom of the championship standings

 

[14_dollars]

 

[Timhowardsswearbox]

The source about as reliable as a tesco value bag fronting as contraception.

Are you saying that doesn’t work?

I need to call my mistress

 

[ProZ]

That is French

 

[Tony’s Carp]

I'm Ukrainian and I don't want to see the cowardly Artem Dziuba in Everton

despite the fact that he is a coward, also he is a so-so player and will only suit a team from the bottom of the championship standings

Don't worry mate there's absolutely no chance it would happen. He can go f- himself.

??

 

[Exeter_Gently]

Some would see the negatives in it....

He's lost focus lately.

 

[blulouie]

The only thing Dwight could offer that girl more than me is a lot more money (probably about £39,790 pw at the time) and probably had more endurance by maybe a minute or so. But I bet he couldn't build a joint as good as me, or make a good cup of tea.

Yep, I'm glad I swerved Katie Price as she just would have ruined my mojo

She'd have carved a notch on that plank strapped to yer arse.

 

[14_dollars]

That is French

Bonnet de douche

 

[get-your-coat-on]

Guirassy doing the rounds with French journos.... think it may have all stemmed from L'Equipe though

 

[Neiler]

Have a low enough expectation for up front.

Certain profile of player who will come here to compete for a place or be back up on our budget.

Older player, who can manage 15 odd games, high wage, expierence, shelf life.

Player from an oversee league at a middling club capable of 10 odd is said league, who might have had a turn in Europe who moving to PL woukf be a decent career move for about 10-15 mill.

Championship lad, done well down there, might have head room, may or may not transition to the PL, taking on risk.

Essentially we’re after a Josh King type of profile in each of those categories.

 

[blue to the bone]

Bonnet de douche

Mange tout mange tout

 

[maccavennie]

I don't do French, only German, Spanish, Mandarin & Swedish....I knew I took the wrong GCSE in school ffs

 

[Noisy noise annoys]

I'm not being miserable, I'm being realistic about where we are. I've seen people saying the manager will be under pressure if we lose on Saturday and I'm just giving some balance. There are people already talking up top 10 finishes. That sort of positivity is not helpful!

We might end up in a better position, but I don't believe it until I see it. We rarely end a window without a glaring weakness in the squad, but we don't have margin for error anymore after coming 16th and losing a goalscorer.

Have a day off, be happy

 

[Shibbywiggles]

That is French

If you click foreign Twitter links there’s a translate button, I only learnt this myself the other week, handy!

Says we’re closing in and he’s our main target basically