Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Woolverhampton_Blue]

Do you want to tell us about it? There are people on here who will be able to empathise with you and help.

Just can’t ‘steady the ship’ so to speak. Always seem to self sabotage jobs, relationships, etc. Been struggling with drugs and alcohol for a long time now. I’m desperate to just live a relatively normal life but there’s something inherently wrong with me that just creates chaos.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Just can’t ‘steady the ship’ so to speak. Always seem to self sabotage jobs, relationships, etc. Been struggling with drugs and alcohol for a long time now. I’m desperate to just live a relatively normal life but there’s something inherently wrong with me that just creates chaos.

Psychologist can help the behavioral, fairly simple. Psychiatrist can help you deal with the physical addictions. You may have started yourself down the path but the body has adapted to have that as the new normal. Seek help hombre. It works.

 

[efcforever]

Just can’t ‘steady the ship’ so to speak. Always seem to self sabotage jobs, relationships, etc. Been struggling with drugs and alcohol for a long time now. I’m desperate to just live a relatively normal life but there’s something inherently wrong with me that just creates chaos.

Have you been to your GP. It's the best place to start. The meds can help correct chemical imbalances in your brain. Also as others have said, share what has happened, there's a good chance someone has been through similar.

 

[Abraders]

Cotton wool?

I don't like the sound of that (excuse the pun)

 

[Vegas Toffee Girl]

Just can’t ‘steady the ship’ so to speak. Always seem to self sabotage jobs, relationships, etc. Been struggling with drugs and alcohol for a long time now. I’m desperate to just live a relatively normal life but there’s something inherently wrong with me that just creates chaos.

I'm sorry to read you have been dealing with those issues for a while. I agree with others here that a visit to your GP could help you.

I've experienced some similar feelings that might help you figure out why you self-sabotage.

All of us have good days, bad days, great days and every once in a while we have an amazing day. Twice in the span of 3 years, I had an amazing day, everything seemed perfect. And within 24 hours one of my loved ones was dead. The first was my Dad and the second was a beloved pet.

After the last death, I was afraid to be happy...for several years after. It affected every part of my life, my career and relationships suffered. All I wanted to feel was just ok because I didn't want another loved one to die since I believed being happy now meant death.

Something from your past could be making you behave in certain ways.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

After the last death, I was afraid to be happy...for several years after. It affected every part of my life, my career and relationships suffered. All I wanted to feel was just ok because I didn't want another loved one to die since I believed being happy now meant death.

Something from your past could be making you behave in certain ways.

This is absolutely a problem with me. I have convinced myself that anything good that happens will be quickly balanced out by something bad. So I turn into an absolute ball of anxiety whenever anything positive happens.

 

[Vegas Toffee Girl]

This is absolutely a problem with me. I have convinced myself that anything good that happens will be quickly balanced out by something bad. So I turn into an absolute ball of anxiety whenever anything positive happens.

I was able to overcome those feelings by 2008 when my son was born which was obviously a very joyous occasion and nothing bad happened after that.

I can't really pinpoint exactly how I did it, but I think it was something I read about not having extreme emotional swings. That when good things happen, it should feel normal to me and not something out of the blue. Basically, I should expect good things to happen all of the time and not worry about any bad that might happen.

 

[Naisy'sCharitableLeanings]

Just thinking out loud mate, but what you`ve said made me think of Duff Mc Kagan, who was the drummer for Guns and Roses.

He was doing either ten bottles of wine or four pints of vodka a day and coke and he was apparently days from death, before going into rehab ( again ).

When he was in rehab he got into mountain biking as release ( the place was in the wilds ) and carried on when he got out and ended up remaining sober and becoming an accomplished hard core mountain biker.

I`m just thinking that due to the fact that you live in rural Spain, there must be a lot of outdoor stuff to do - cycling, walking, climbing, running etc.

Could something " outdoorsy " not be a release for you too.

I know that Mc Kagan states that he now gets his " high " from mountain biking and doesn`t need drugs / drink anymore.

As I keen trail runner and a long time sufferer with anxiety related problems, I completely agree with what he says.

Great shout.

 

[Naisy'sCharitableLeanings]

Useless fact of the day : Churchill was a member of the Amalgamated Union of Bricklayers. He used to lay bricks for building walls as a means of relaxation.

True story. If you ever get the chance to visit his beloved former home Chartwell, you should. There’s a portion of his brickwork in the walled garden, and he also built a Wendy house for his daughter. The studio in the grounds and the house itself are also full of his artwork. It’s one of my favourite NT properties and I go at least once a year. Funnily enough, I joined the NT as part of a plan to ‘cheer myself up’ - great therapy!

 

[Kenshin]

Little bit of an update.

I have spoken to the work and pensions and they are going to speak to safeguarding now. Hopefully this is the start of action against her.

She now knows that my mum knows and has immediately blocked my mum on Facebook to cut contact with her which is massively over reacting as my mum didn't threaten her. So again strange behaviour. O highlighted everything to what we could prove including financial activity changing once she got control of the account. Also mentioned we think she has gone for a funeral grant from the social and we don't think that money is all going to the funeral bill. Mentioned withdrawals after she was in hospital / died and how we can even match activity to events in her life such as holidays , nights out etc.

My biggest fear now is talking to my cousin about this. I know I have to tell him directly and I'm not looking for him to pick sides, he won't know otherwise . As soon as I do I know my auntie will turn on me and no idea how my cousin will react to the news.

A little bit of weight has been lifted now knowing hopefully we are doing something about it , just the fear of what's going to happen

 

[COYBL25]

Little bit of an update.

I have spoken to the work and pensions and they are going to speak to safeguarding now. Hopefully this is the start of action against her.

She now knows that my mum knows and has immediately blocked my mum on Facebook to cut contact with her which is massively over reacting as my mum didn't threaten her. So again strange behaviour. O highlighted everything to what we could prove including financial activity changing once she got control of the account. Also mentioned we think she has gone for a funeral grant from the social and we don't think that money is all going to the funeral bill. Mentioned withdrawals after she was in hospital / died and how we can even match activity to events in her life such as holidays , nights out etc.

My biggest fear now is talking to my cousin about this. I know I have to tell him directly and I'm not looking for him to pick sides, he won't know otherwise . As soon as I do I know my auntie will turn on me and no idea how my cousin will react to the news.

A little bit of weight has been lifted now knowing hopefully we are doing something about it , just the fear of what's going to happen

You can do no more mate and you`ve done the right thing mate.

What your aunt has done is beyond vile and hopefully your cousin will see that too.

 

[Bungle]

Little bit of an update.

I have spoken to the work and pensions and they are going to speak to safeguarding now. Hopefully this is the start of action against her.

She now knows that my mum knows and has immediately blocked my mum on Facebook to cut contact with her which is massively over reacting as my mum didn't threaten her. So again strange behaviour. O highlighted everything to what we could prove including financial activity changing once she got control of the account. Also mentioned we think she has gone for a funeral grant from the social and we don't think that money is all going to the funeral bill. Mentioned withdrawals after she was in hospital / died and how we can even match activity to events in her life such as holidays , nights out etc.

My biggest fear now is talking to my cousin about this. I know I have to tell him directly and I'm not looking for him to pick sides, he won't know otherwise . As soon as I do I know my auntie will turn on me and no idea how my cousin will react to the news.

A little bit of weight has been lifted now knowing hopefully we are doing something about it , just the fear of what's going to happen

As @COYBL25 says mate you've certainly done the right thing, she has taken advantage of a vulnerable old woman and should face the consequences.

Who's to say that if she went unchecked she wouldn't do it again in the future if the opportunity arose, best she learns her lesson now.

 

[EdwardJ2306]

Hi all,

An update as I've not been on here in a while.
Started CBT sessions in the first week of January, and already feel my life changing.
For example, I used a technique this morning from my sessions for my anxiety, and it set me up for one of my best shifts I've had at work.
I'm taking time off social media as well and it's really helped me cope.

It's a much changed mood for me, I'm feeling less depressed and lonely, and more filled with life again. Because I know it's getting better, because I'm getting help. I MIGHT also have a date soon, so it's definitely going well.

So thanks everyone for the messages as well. It has helped, which is why I'll always encourage it. I'll try to keep posting on here.

Until the next one ladies and gentlemen.

 

[Daz1878]

This is absolutely a problem with me. I have convinced myself that anything good that happens will be quickly balanced out by something bad. So I turn into an absolute ball of anxiety whenever anything positive happens.

Sorry to be replying to this 3 days late, mate, but I've only just read it. I think what you've described is a not uncommon way to look on things, so you're by no means the only one. FWIW, years ago I came to the realisation that everything ends - so just as the good times end, so do the bad times, and the circle comes around again, and life kind of works in this endless loop. That may does sound hopelessly cliched, but I know it made me approach things differently. All the best.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Sorry to be replying to this 3 days late, mate, but I've only just read it. I think what you've described is a not uncommon way to look on things, so you're by no means the only one. FWIW, years ago I came to the realisation that everything ends - so just as the good times end, so do the bad times, and the circle comes around again, and life kind of works in this endless loop. That may does sound hopelessly cliched, but I know it made me approach things differently. All the best.

I just need a period of relative normality. Since 2017 I've been dealing in extremes.

October 2017: Got together with my girlfriend, after leaving a marriage I'd been unhappy in for years. 4 weeks later break my pelvis in 3 places and the ex lawyers up big time

May 2018: Really amazing holiday and racing trip to Italy, some nice writing work comes up. June, the ex unleashes hell on me for some medical Bills I didn't know existed. Debt collectors, the works.

August 2018: Divorce agreement settled but I get screwed on account of her lawyer and mine being mates. Finish a crazy 2 week mountain bike race, get fired a week later.

February 2019: writing work looks to he going ok. Start a band. Get sued by ex for unpaid maintenance that she agreed didn't have to be paid until I had a job.

May 2019: take crappy job I hate to pay the ex off.

I wont bore you with everything else. But I just got a decent sized tax refund that meant I was able to get everything back in good shape and treat myself a little bit after 2 years of craziness... so my mind is now searching for the next crisis.

Its crap not enjoying the good stuff because you're just convinced the next time the phone rings or the door goes bad stuff is coming.