Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Tim's tourettes

Player Valuation: £2.5m
@Cardano , I'd like to think u wont get looked down on or abuse in this thread. Posters on here are generally genuine people suffering from different issues and it's been a good help to me. I cant relate to your situation but fair play for having the balls to be so honest. I hope your mates do have some sort of intervention for you, it sounds like u do need some tough Love. Good luck mate
 

Cardano

Player Valuation: £500k
@Cardano , I'd like to think u wont get looked down on or abuse in this thread. Posters on here are generally genuine people suffering from different issues and it's been a good help to me. I cant relate to your situation but fair play for having the balls to be so honest. I hope your mates do have some sort of intervention for you, it sounds like u do need some tough Love. Good luck mate
Cheers for responding man.

I think I mentioned about getting a negative reaction in relation to the hard drugs.

I do think I deserve a bit of dressing down to be honest and I’m happy to take it. I don’t think I’m dim at all and have become an innocent victim of bad drugs. I should know better and I’ve made some pretty irresponsible decisions. So yeah, if it comes in a package that also contains a little empathy and support, I can accept a bit of a bollocking.

I also expected some negativity in another sense too. I’m aware that a lot of people do look at people involved in heroin and crack use with disdain and often disgust. I’ve done it myself in the past. And even amongst people who have plenty of involvement in smoking weed and/or snorting coke, their is a kind of drug hierarchy and they look down on those who use the two ‘untouchables’.

I tell you what though, looking for positives to take from the mess I’ve gotten myself into, one will definitely be a whole different view to those with hard drug problems. I have, I admit, looked at such people in the past as somehow beneath me. I’ve probably held a view that such people are inherently bad people, not to be trusted, people who would rob you blind as soon as your back is turned.

And I’ve learnt that is actually far from the case. Of course, they’re addicts, and a lot of them do go shoplifting to maintain their habit. But when I started getting into this mess, before I got myself ingratiated with dealers directly, I had to go through people I approached on the streets to go and get the stuff for me. And on a good few occasions I put myself in a position where it would’ve been the easiest thing in the world to rob me. I made myself a sitting target. There were times when I actually handed money to complete strangers who were obvious addicts, whilst they disappeared around the corner. I actually expected them to not return. But not once did it happen. Never. And it would have been so so easy for them.

Something else I came across was the bond they seem to have around the experience they all share of withdrawal symptoms. I mixed with a few groups of street homeless and people in and out of homeless hostels. And there is a kind of ‘scene’. Everybody knows of everybody. And just like with any group of people there are individuals who perhaps don’t especially get on with other individuals. I had people slagging others off, telling me what a c**t so and so was and how they couldn’t stand them. And then a few hours later I watched the person who had been mouthing off go and give their target, the c**t, half of their own last bag of heroin. Simply because that person was having withdrawal symptoms. A phrase I often heard was “I won’t see anybody go sick”. This common experience seems to bind them together and look after each other.

So shoplifters? Yeah. To be kept an eye on? Yeah. Angels? No. But scum of the earth without morals and prepared to do anyone over to ensure their own comfort. Well not exactly.

I was genuinely surprised and will take a lot from that. If I ever get through my current mess I think I want to look into working with street homeless and/or addicts.

Sorry i went into one a bit there and this thread probably isn’t appropriate for this kind of post so I’ll rein it in in future. But that is a genuine positive I’ll take from this abyss.
 

AmericasToffee

Player Valuation: £40m
@Cardano you did take the first step towards those hard drugs. I wish that [Poor language removed] didn't exist though. The highs of natural chemical occurrences that those two mimic are way too powerful. It's going to suck. It's going to feel like you need those drugs to survive, but that's just your body telling you something isn't right with how it's been programmed to function. And it adapted to those hard drugs, so hell yes to making your body feel that something isn't right and correcting itself.

Good on you for taking the first steps to getting control of your life back. I'm at work right now but I'll see if I can drudge up any research that can help when I get home
 

blue to the bone

Player Valuation: £70m
Christmas can be a hard time for people so anyone struggling with hope it goes well and ye get through it.
My worst spell with depression was at Christmas a couple or years ago.
One recommendation to anyone who finds it tough is stay of social media even if it is for only a few days. Looking at others posting up about their perfect lives with no problems can be too much. Even if it most of it is only a front.
 

Christmas can be a hard time for people so anyone struggling with hope it goes well and ye get through it.
My worst spell with depression was at Christmas a couple or years ago.
One recommendation to anyone who finds it tough is stay of social media even if it is for only a few days. Looking at others posting up about their perfect lives with no problems can be too much. Even if it most of it is only a front.

Posted the same on Facebook myself this morning. Lots of people, consciously or otherwise, share how happy and festive family life is for them this time of year which is no crime but can carry a lot of weight in itself. For lots of people, myself included, this can be the loneliest time of year so I always delete my apps for a week from today.

Hope everyone here struggling knows to talk to someone or pop on here for a chat & a distraction.
 

Vegas Toffee Girl

Player Valuation: £1.5m
I'll be on here today and tomorrow if anyone wants to chat.

Christmas is slow at my house. Most of my family is 3,000 miles away. My husband will probably nap through most of Christmas, my son will be playing video games, and my mom will tell me about all of her work problems.

Maybe we can get together and take over other people's threads for the day?? I don't know, something fun. There are 5 NBA games on tomorrow if you can view them.
 

The Missing Lineker

Player Valuation: £950k
I'll be struggling through the day tomorrow as divorce continues to drag on and my ex wife seeks to destroy me.
I'm not even seeing my 14 year old daughter for the first time on Christmas day ever and I've told my family to leave me a lone for the day as I can't face them.

That just breaks my heart, mate.

There’s a saying that it’s not the wind that blows a ship onto the rocks but rather how the sailor sets or adjusts his sails.

Don’t let this destroy you. Better days will come, and you need to stay healthy and well to enjoy them.You’re allowed to find enjoyment in your family’s company. Don’t let her take absolutely everything from you.

But if you do want alone time - that’s ok too. Quiet reflection in between some trashy tv and punctuated by posting here for light relief from the wonderful people who’ll be holding the post!

Wishing you fast healing and many better days!
 

COYBL25

Official GOT Joey Speak Interpreter.
I'll be struggling through the day tomorrow as divorce continues to drag on and my ex wife seeks to destroy me.
I'm not even seeing my 14 year old daughter for the first time on Christmas day ever and I've told my family to leave me a lone for the day as I can't face them.

Feel for you mate.

As @The Missing Lineker says come on here, chat bollox and generally try to forget about it all for a bit.
 

AmericasToffee

Player Valuation: £40m
I'll be struggling through the day tomorrow as divorce continues to drag on and my ex wife seeks to destroy me.
I'm not even seeing my 14 year old daughter for the first time on Christmas day ever and I've told my family to leave me a lone for the day as I can't face them.
I'm sorry you are being put through this by a manipulative ex, Dave. If you find being around your family as an enjoyable and uplifting experience, please go be with them and put all other outside noise away for the day. Family tends to love regardless of what other crap is going on.
 

barmcake

Player Valuation: £150k
Well it's been over a month since my son went back to school and he's not missed a single day. He's had a couple of minor wobbles but he's still gone to school. To say he's achieved 100% attendance is remarkable considering he hadn't been for 6 months and he's changed schools. The feedback from school has been great and he's made new friends. I even found him doing some extra homework the other night....I almost cried with the way he was so calm and showing me the extra work he'd been doing to catch up. Something so basic that most people take for granted means so much to us as a family.

In the back of my mind however I dread this coming back. Is it a case of an incident bringing him crashing back down, exam stress, coming off meds, etc etc. I'm not sure I'll be able to relax about that for a long time and I do worry about his future. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

My other worry is that his ambition is to join the army and I wonder how this year will affect his chances. On their website it says no more than two episodes of anxiety/depression and CAMHS have said this would be classed as one episode. He might change his mind over time but it's something he's been adamant about for a while.

A while ago CAMHS recommended family therapy for us. After being on a 6 month waiting list we've finally got an appointment. We are still going to go although my eldest son doesn't want to go. We aren't going to force him but we are going to take our youngest son whose ten. Over the last three years he's seen/heard a lot of things that he shouldn't have. Seeing his older brother having panic attacks, crying on the floor, saying he wants to kill himself etc etc could have influenced him. He seems fine but I'm conscious that much have this is associated with high school and he goes to high school next year. He may also think we've given the eldest much more attention given his situation which we probably did at times but not by choice. We'll see how it goes.

Once again, thanks for the support and for "listening". I always feel a little better after posting in this thread so I encourage others to do so too. People may not see the support that goes on beyond this thread either. I've had numerous members contact me via private message to offer support and I'll always be grateful for that.

My lad broke up for school last week with 100% attendance since he changed school. My wife broke down in tears reading his school report as it's the first time since going to high school that he's attained 100% attendance. He's had problems ever since going there. The report was great and some of his grades were fantastic considering he's missed a year of their Gcse studies and he's not been to school for six months eg. A in English. He's also made new friends and settled in so well.

Watching him this morning opening his presents and being so happy is just something I couldn't have dreamed of earlier this year when we hit rock bottom and were in hospital with him wanting to kill himself. So if things aren't going well right now, don't give up, keep fighting, it can get better.

Thanks again for the support over the year. Really appreciate it. Have a good Xmas everyone.
 

rochdaleblue

Player Valuation: £60m
I'll be struggling through the day tomorrow as divorce continues to drag on and my ex wife seeks to destroy me.
I'm not even seeing my 14 year old daughter for the first time on Christmas day ever and I've told my family to leave me a lone for the day as I can't face them.
Mate I’ve gone through a divorce this last 12 months. I can tell you last Christmas was the saddest period of my life (even allowing for the death of my father). The enormity of the family life you had with your kids really hits home to you at this time of the year, when it’s no longer there. My daughter is still being cold to me (even though it was my ex who wanted to end the marriage) all you can do is try and be reasonable with your ex, and hope she comes round and allows you more access to your daughter. If not you’ll have to go through the courts, as every dad is entitled to see their kids. Get through this difficult period mate and things will get better for you.
 
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