I think this is more common than you would possibly think. I have a severe jinx complex that leads me to not watching many matches anymore. Amazing that I, you or anyone else could feel guilt over what Everton do. As if I have special powers to do anything, let alone control 11 other people to play rubbish!Relapse. All because we lost 2-0 to Fulham.
I hate myself far more than I hate the squad because the delusional part of me thinks it's my fault. I said we'd lose and we did and now I've gone and hurt myself. At least it's not too deep.
Said it before but no one should in effect make a sacrifice by injuring themselves over what happens to Everton. They don't seem to care so why should we as fans go over the top for them? These things come in cycles and hopefully one day there will be another great Everton side that deserves our emotions.
It's good to hear you have found a hobby with the quiz site. Replacing the negative things in your life with more positive ones sounds exactly what is required.