Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

AmericasToffee

Player Valuation: £25m
Being unable to enjoy anything a regular 23 year old would because any time I try it's a raging battle with my insides to stop from being sick and stop the urge to try and escape from these situations.

Even if there are highs they are all highs in between hours of stress. There's only a few people I can really switch off around and even then...

I just want to be able to enjoy life and not feel like every event, even simple social things, is a battle. It's ruining my personal relationships and I feel like I'm ruining what should be the best years of my life
The best thing to do is find help. It may not be the first or even second professional you try that can help, but someone out there can.
 

COYBL25

Official GOT Joey Speak Interpreter.
Being unable to enjoy anything a regular 23 year old would because any time I try it's a raging battle with my insides to stop from being sick and stop the urge to try and escape from these situations.

Even if there are highs they are all highs in between hours of stress. There's only a few people I can really switch off around and even then...

I just want to be able to enjoy life and not feel like every event, even simple social things, is a battle. It's ruining my personal relationships and I feel like I'm ruining what should be the best years of my life
Aerobic exercise works wonders for me mate.

Completely takes the edge of those feelings of anxiety.

Also helps you do all your “ thinking “ whist you exercise and deffo helps you sleep better too.

It’s being used more and more as part of therapy nowadays.
 

Encoder

Player Valuation: £15m
Aerobic exercise works wonders for me mate.

Completely takes the edge of those feelings of anxiety.

Also helps you do all your “ thinking “ whist you exercise and deffo helps you sleep better too.

It’s being used more and more as part of therapy nowadays.
I hit the gym regularly Friend, weights and aerobics. It definitely helps, esp the aerobic.

But I think my issues aren't something's a regular gym routine can cure. Help certainly, but not enough on it's own.

I have the capacity to enjoy myself, but it comes with such a baggage.
 

WA Toffee

Player Valuation: £40m
It is now 4 months since my daughter last cut herself and she has just had her first scar removal session. She has over 40 cuts on her arms and 20 on her legs. Most are just self harm, but a couple of the deeper ones are from genuine suicide attempts.
She started college at the start of the year, but pulled out after a week or two. She said it was too stressful for her, but despite it being 40 degrees all week, she went to college wearing long trousers and a jumper as she was ashamed of her scars. I take that as a good sign as she is now considering what people think of her, which means to me that she does actually care.

The past few weeks have been the first time in a couple of years where I am starting to think I may outlive her.
 

chrismpw

All I ask is an empty road.
It is now 4 months since my daughter last cut herself and she has just had her first scar removal session. She has over 40 cuts on her arms and 20 on her legs. Most are just self harm, but a couple of the deeper ones are from genuine suicide attempts.
She started college at the start of the year, but pulled out after a week or two. She said it was too stressful for her, but despite it being 40 degrees all week, she went to college wearing long trousers and a jumper as she was ashamed of her scars. I take that as a good sign as she is now considering what people think of her, which means to me that she does actually care.

The past few weeks have been the first time in a couple of years where I am starting to think I may outlive her.
Geesh mate. That's not a nice situation for you to be in, but like you say, signs if hope are there.
 

The Missing Lineker

Player Valuation: £950k
It is now 4 months since my daughter last cut herself and she has just had her first scar removal session. She has over 40 cuts on her arms and 20 on her legs. Most are just self harm, but a couple of the deeper ones are from genuine suicide attempts.
She started college at the start of the year, but pulled out after a week or two. She said it was too stressful for her, but despite it being 40 degrees all week, she went to college wearing long trousers and a jumper as she was ashamed of her scars. I take that as a good sign as she is now considering what people think of her, which means to me that she does actually care.

The past few weeks have been the first time in a couple of years where I am starting to think I may outlive her.
Can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. Like you say, good sign that she cares enough about covering her scars. I hope she doesn’t feel shame though, I hope she understands these are wounds of an illness that she’s bravely fighting. I hope she becomes strong enough and confident enough to be able to explain this to friends if ever the situation arises.

Good sign also that she’s back in college! Kid’s a fighter bless her!
 

larbert toffee

Player Valuation: £60m
It is now 4 months since my daughter last cut herself and she has just had her first scar removal session. She has over 40 cuts on her arms and 20 on her legs. Most are just self harm, but a couple of the deeper ones are from genuine suicide attempts.
She started college at the start of the year, but pulled out after a week or two. She said it was too stressful for her, but despite it being 40 degrees all week, she went to college wearing long trousers and a jumper as she was ashamed of her scars. I take that as a good sign as she is now considering what people think of her, which means to me that she does actually care.

The past few weeks have been the first time in a couple of years where I am starting to think I may outlive her.
Small steps towards sorting things are probably better long term, you're right to find a positive in her caring about how others see her. I really hope she can turn this around and you can maintain your love and strength in supporting her.
 

goodisonopheliac

Player Valuation: £30m
I'm really, really low at the moment.

Basically, I used to be a cam girl who catered for a very niche fetish. I uploaded clips to a fetish site and I used to go on a certain forum catering to said fetish. I can't do the clips anymore because it just makes me panicky. A while back, a guy manipulated me into doing stuff I didn't want to do over a chat programme. I had to read his erotic fic. I told him many time I hated my voice and he wasn't comfortable doing it, but he talked me into reading stuff for him. He sent me photos of random women, tried to get me to make up stories. I lost it and just burst into tears and since then, i've never done cam stuff or clips. I didn't exactly make a lot of money as the site is hosted in the US and they deduct an admin fee. Today I went back on Fetlife just to see how things were, and I had some 20 year old messaging me asking to be my slave and I just lost it and broke down crying.

Maybe I should ask those women Big Nev talks to what I'm doing wrong. People on social media say sex work is empowering but I just ended up feeling dehumanised. I felt like I was a little broken doll being twisted and manipulated by giant hands. I got asked to role play and pretend to be something I'm not, sexy teacher, sexy secretary, sexy football fan (not kidding, I've done clips where I wore an Everton shirt and people liked that). I don't feel sexy or confident. I feel ugly inside and out.
It is now 4 months since my daughter last cut herself and she has just had her first scar removal session. She has over 40 cuts on her arms and 20 on her legs. Most are just self harm, but a couple of the deeper ones are from genuine suicide attempts.
She started college at the start of the year, but pulled out after a week or two. She said it was too stressful for her, but despite it being 40 degrees all week, she went to college wearing long trousers and a jumper as she was ashamed of her scars. I take that as a good sign as she is now considering what people think of her, which means to me that she does actually care.

The past few weeks have been the first time in a couple of years where I am starting to think I may outlive her.
I'm so sorry. Now I know how my mum feels. Although my suicide attempts were overdoses, not cutting.
 

I'm really, really low at the moment.

Basically, I used to be a cam girl who catered for a very niche fetish. I uploaded clips to a fetish site and I used to go on a certain forum catering to said fetish. I can't do the clips anymore because it just makes me panicky. A while back, a guy manipulated me into doing stuff I didn't want to do over a chat programme. I had to read his erotic fic. I told him many time I hated my voice and he wasn't comfortable doing it, but he talked me into reading stuff for him. He sent me photos of random women, tried to get me to make up stories. I lost it and just burst into tears and since then, i've never done cam stuff or clips. I didn't exactly make a lot of money as the site is hosted in the US and they deduct an admin fee. Today I went back on Fetlife just to see how things were, and I had some 20 year old messaging me asking to be my slave and I just lost it and broke down crying.

Maybe I should ask those women Big Nev talks to what I'm doing wrong. People on social media say sex work is empowering but I just ended up feeling dehumanised. I felt like I was a little broken doll being twisted and manipulated by giant hands. I got asked to role play and pretend to be something I'm not, sexy teacher, sexy secretary, sexy football fan (not kidding, I've done clips where I wore an Everton shirt and people liked that). I don't feel sexy or confident. I feel ugly inside and out.

I'm so sorry. Now I know how my mum feels. Although my suicide attempts were overdoses, not cutting.
Simple solution: don’t go on FetLife, don’t be a camgirl, don’t do anything of that ilk. No one is forcing you to, it seemingly doesn’t benefit you in the slightest, I’m baffled why you’d even bother with it in the first place.
 

The Missing Lineker

Player Valuation: £950k
Simple solution: don’t go on FetLife, don’t be a camgirl, don’t do anything of that ilk. No one is forcing you to, it seemingly doesn’t benefit you in the slightest, I’m baffled why you’d even bother with it in the first place.
Simple solutions don’t necessarily apply in complex lives, mate. I can think of a number of psycho-social reasons that might explain this type of action. Obviously won’t be appropriate to voice these as I don’t want to presume or speculate about someone’s life on a public forum.
 
Simple solutions don’t necessarily apply in complex lives, mate. I can think of a number of psycho-social reasons that might explain this type of action. Obviously won’t be appropriate to voice these as I don’t want to presume or speculate about someone’s life on a public forum.
Maybe so, posting on here for help/advice though means we might get an answer.
 

The Missing Lineker

Player Valuation: £950k
Maybe so, posting on here for help/advice though means we might get an answer.
Yes, and this thread is full of helpful people like you giving good solid advice. We have to accept though that some issues are too complex to get to the bottom of without deep probing by a skilled professional (talking generally, not necessarily about this case). Mindful of this, we must resist the strong but natural temptation to over-simplify the problem in our well intentioned efforts to reach out and offer advice (speaking generally again, definitely not aiming this at anyone)
 

Frang

Banned
Banned
Simple solution: don’t go on FetLife, don’t be a camgirl, don’t do anything of that ilk. No one is forcing you to, it seemingly doesn’t benefit you in the slightest, I’m baffled why you’d even bother with it in the first place.
as harsh as this might sound, I actually see it as sound advice.
 

Bazlar

Player Valuation: £8m
It is now 4 months since my daughter last cut herself and she has just had her first scar removal session. She has over 40 cuts on her arms and 20 on her legs. Most are just self harm, but a couple of the deeper ones are from genuine suicide attempts.
She started college at the start of the year, but pulled out after a week or two. She said it was too stressful for her, but despite it being 40 degrees all week, she went to college wearing long trousers and a jumper as she was ashamed of her scars. I take that as a good sign as she is now considering what people think of her, which means to me that she does actually care.

The past few weeks have been the first time in a couple of years where I am starting to think I may outlive her.

Wow mate. I thought my own problems were bad enough but you must feel so helpĺess.Keep going bud and I am sure she will come back to her Dad. Good luck mate
 

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