Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[BiggyRat]

I know it may seem like a ramble....

Apologies for letting some stuff out of my head...

Ramble away my friend, this is what the thread is for. It's not a cure, it's not a one stop shop for a solution, but it's a place where you can anonymously get things off your chest.

No apology's required here.

 

[paulus]

My God Livepooč spen 100 mill and Basel is raping them, Lovren and Skrtel look like worse CD duo in PL, And Brendon must admit that last year was all about mister Dracula form not hes skills as a menager . One more thiung can we try to buy Luca Zuffi from Basel . Hes all in Basel creative spark.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

This goes in here I think.

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Now I just feel like I can't carry on. My future's looking non existent with this on my record despite me only being 17. Gonna be hard to get a job and stuff, college are looking at not letting me carry on there even though I've been doing well, there's no point going to Uni anymore. I feel proper embarassed that I'm gonna have this charge on me and people are gonna hear about it regardless of whether it's true or not, I still got found guilty of it so people are gonna believe it. I feel like I've let everyone in my family down and bad that they've all supported me so much, they all believe me and so they've basically all gone through it with me. I feel just so low and just like there's no point at all. It's just [Poor language removed].

Hello mate. You have a few things going for you. It may not feel like it at right now, I really wish I had someone to talk to when I was 17! You have age on your side and opportunities will present themselves to you when you least expect them. I won't tell you it's easy or comes like a ray of sunshine when you open your eyes in the morning.

Have you got any uncles or cousins you could talk to? Ones you are close to? Even a doctor you can have a word with - it doesn't have to feel so dreadful, doctors are trained to help you buddy.

 

[matty1878]

This goes in here I think.

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Now I just feel like I can't carry on. My future's looking non existent with this on my record despite me only being 17. Gonna be hard to get a job and stuff, college are looking at not letting me carry on there even though I've been doing well, there's no point going to Uni anymore. I feel proper embarassed that I'm gonna have this charge on me and people are gonna hear about it regardless of whether it's true or not, I still got found guilty of it so people are gonna believe it. I feel like I've let everyone in my family down and bad that they've all supported me so much, they all believe me and so they've basically all gone through it with me. I feel just so low and just like there's no point at all. It's just [Poor language removed].

Mate it must be terrible to be convicted of something your sure you didn't do. You sound like you have a good support network in your family. Fight it all the way it's possible if you know your right and even if you do get "
Convicted" rebuild your life and start a fresh and don't look back look forward. It will take time
But your only young that's a bonus. We live and we learn mate.

 

[BiggyRat]

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Clearly, we can't really comment on the conviction but the consequences are a different matter. The conviction doesn't remove you from being a member of your family so don't assume the worst there. Same with your mates, reassure them that you're still the same bloke that they became a friend of or just give them a call if you can and let them have their say if they would.

Previously, I've mentioned my best mate who's about to find out if he will be charged for a "white collar crime" and he's been very, very low recently. As I worked with him, we were instructed to not make contact with him but, you know what, he's still my best mate and has been so, long before we worked at this place! Now, I doubt there's a link between my current woes & standing by him but...I don't give a flying f***! You stand by your mates.

I guess that what I'm saying is...give your Family and your mates the benefit of the doubt here. Don't assume anything, but talk to them and let them have their say.

 

[FTY]

Hello mate. You have a few things going for you. It may not feel like it at right now, I really wish I had someone to talk to when I was 17! You have age on your side and opportunities will present themselves to you when you least expect them. I won't tell you it's easy or comes like a ray of sunshine when you open your eyes in the morning.

Have you got any uncles or cousins you could talk to? Ones you are close to? Even a doctor you can have a word with - it doesn't have to feel so dreadful, doctors are trained to help you buddy.

There are yes mate, but the more I speak to them the more bad I feel, makes me feel really guilty (not in terms of what happened), that they're supporting me and going through it as well which I just feel really bad about.

 

[bizzaro]

This goes in here I think.

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Now I just feel like I can't carry on. My future's looking non existent with this on my record despite me only being 17. Gonna be hard to get a job and stuff, college are looking at not letting me carry on there even though I've been doing well, there's no point going to Uni anymore. I feel proper embarassed that I'm gonna have this charge on me and people are gonna hear about it regardless of whether it's true or not, I still got found guilty of it so people are gonna believe it. I feel like I've let everyone in my family down and bad that they've all supported me so much, they all believe me and so they've basically all gone through it with me. I feel just so low and just like there's no point at all. It's just [Poor language removed].

ABH or GBH? If it was a fight then the circumstances usually count a lot. If you did an unprovoked attack on someone with a weapon that's not the same as a fight in self defence or where someone's tried provoking you.

Someone i knew went to jail for three months at university for hitting someone with a bottle. He finished his degree. It was touch and go. Now in that case he shouldnt of done it.

However, I've experienced provocation (physical and mental) and struck out. Some then play the victim card (it was an agenda and what they were trying to create to get me sacked. Way back when.)

Learn from this. People will try and do stuff to undermine you. Ridiculous behaviour and comments. Get away from them sort. Use the law to your advantage. Have confidence in yourself. Generally some inadequate people go on the attack against you when the feel threatened socially or otherwise. It happens. It can happen to anyone.

If there's anything you need DM me.

 

[FTY]

Mate it must be terrible to be convicted of something your sure you didn't do. You sound like you have a good support network in your family. Fight it all the way it's possible if you know your right and even if you do get "
Convicted" rebuild your life and start a fresh and don't look back look forward. It will take time
But your only young that's a bonus. We live and we learn mate.

Done fighting it now mate. Just wanna put it behind me but it's hard to when it's holding me back so much. And it will be impossible to rebuild my life when there's hardly anything I can do with this on my record.

 

[bizzaro]

Done fighting it now mate. Just wanna put it behind me but it's hard to when it's holding me back so much. And it will be impossible to rebuild my life when there's hardly anything I can do with this on my record.

Do you do it? You should never accept blame for something you never did.

 

[matty1878]

Done fighting it now mate. Just wanna put it behind me but it's hard to when it's holding me back so much. And it will be impossible to rebuild my life when there's hardly anything I can do with this on my record.

I feel you mate. And it must be a big thing if it's effecting your life in aspects of employment etc. All I can say is try your best to do what you are doing (putting it behind you) and try to build what future you can for yourself.

 

[bizzaro]

Done fighting it now mate. Just wanna put it behind me but it's hard to when it's holding me back so much. And it will be impossible to rebuild my life when there's hardly anything I can do with this on my record.

Btw. For top jobs during vetting a conviction for assault (which can be time spent) is not the same as a conviction for dishonesty (fraud or theft).

You'll be surprised many jobs realise you can get into scrapes when your young. Dishonesty is a whole different matter. It can rule someone out of top jobs in government/military and others.

So really don't worry too much about it.

Obviously don't know the circumstances but if its not a dishonesty or sex crime. If its not a serious assault. Don't upset yourself too much.

Particularly if it was self defence.

 

[FTY]

ABH or GBH? If it was a fight then the circumstances usually count a lot. If you did an unprovoked attack on someone with a weapon that's not the same as a fight in self defence or where someone's tried provoking you.

Someone i knew went to jail for three months at university for hitting someone with a bottle. He finished his degree. It was touch and go. Now in that case he shouldnt of done it.

However, I've experienced provocation (physical and mental) and struck out. Some then play the victim card (it was an agenda and what they were trying to create to get me sacked. Way back when.)

Learn from this. People will try and do stuff to undermine you. Ridiculous behaviour and comments. Get away from them sort. Use the law to your advantage. Have confidence in yourself.

If there's anything you need DM me.

Worse mate. Racially aggravated assault. Not going into it too much but he confronted me, we argued, we had a fight. He played the race card as I probably got the better of him and he wanted to get back at me.

Yes I know, will never let myself be in that situation again. I've defo learn from it, regardless of whether I did what he said I did, I still did something wrong by having a fight with him in the first place.

Do you do it? You should never accept blame for something you never did.

No mate. Absolutely not. But my family have already had to pay a large fine so I don't want to make it worse for them by appealing. Just wanna move on but it's hard to.

 

[bizzaro]

Worse mate. Racially aggravated assault. Not going into it too much but he confronted me, we argued, we had a fight. He played the race card as I probably got the better of him and he wanted to get back at me.

Yes I know, will never let myself be in that situation again. I've defo learn from it, regardless of whether I did what he said I did, I still did something wrong by having a fight with him in the first place.



No mate. Absolutely not. But my family have already had to pay a large fine so I don't want to make it worse for them by appealing. Just wanna move on but it's hard to.

I'm sure that youve probably taken legal advice but if you're adament it was self defence (he confronted you) and this race card is being played based on claims you said something you didn't. Don't just accept it.

If witnesses are falsely claiming things call them out on it.

It happens. The law looks at this as hate crimes but the law has to prove it was a hate crime.

It takes two to tango. You should be highlighting what the other party did to cause their to be a fight.

If he pushed his face into yours he instigated conflict. The law allows you to use reasonable force to defend youself in the face of intimidation or aggression.


If this was unprovoked and you've been an idiot. Put it down to being young and don't do anything like that again.

 

[BiggyRat]

Perhaps we allow FTY to just talk about the aftermath of the conviction guys. We should assume that he's already explored the idea of appealing & his family have already sought Legal advice from people who know the intimate details of the event.

Hindsight is 20/20 but looking forwards is less clear for FTY.

 

[FTY]

I'm sure that youve probably taken legal advice but if you're adament it was self defence (he confronted you) and this race card is being played based on claims you said something you didn't. Don't just accept it.

If witnesses are falsely claiming things call them out on it.

It happens. The law looks at this as hate crimes but the law has to prove it was a hate crime.

It takes two to tango. You should be highlighting what the other party did to cause their to be a fight.

If he pushed his face into yours he instigated conflict. The law allows you to use reasonable force to defend youself in the face of intimidation or aggression.


If this was unprovoked and you've been an idiot. Put it down to being young and don't do anything like that again.

Done all that mate. It's all I've been thinking about for the last 6 months and all of that was put to the magistrates. Still found me guilty. Really don't wanna go through it/put anyone else through it again. The fine was massive, £850 but they lowered it to like 200 because I'm not earning.

Put it down to being young and don't do anything like that again.

It was how I said mate, but I think I'm gonna have to do that anyway. I would suspect it would look worse to potential employers if I'm sitting there going ''I was wrongly convicted'' than if I say that I was just a kid and a nobhead, despite that not being the case.