Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[EFCPaul]

It's what friend requests are for - maybe you're overthinking her reaction? Again, worst case scenario is she just ignores the request. Maybe just use the next few days to hone your approach then - sounds like you've decided to take the plunge, and that sounds like progress based on your earlier posts.

The thing is, I know for a fact she is on facebook but I think she's just set it to where her account can't be found easily. I found an account in the search with her name, from Liverpool, but it has the strictest privacy settings so you can't even see her photograph without her accepting first. If I send a request she would surely realise I had gone to great lengths to find her profile and that will perhaps look a bit stalkerish so I've left it be.

Fancying someone proper bad is awful for your mind haha.

 

[chrismpw]

The thing is, I know for a fact she is on facebook but I think she's just set it to where her account can't be found easily. I found an account in the search with her name, from Liverpool, but it has the strictest privacy settings so you can't even see her photograph without her accepting first. If I send a request she would surely realise I had gone to great lengths to find her profile and that will perhaps look a bit stalkerish so I've left it be.

Fancying someone proper bad is awful for your mind haha.

A good decision at this stage.

 

[Naisy'sCharitableLeanings]

The thing is, I know for a fact she is on facebook but I think she's just set it to where her account can't be found easily. I found an account in the search with her name, from Liverpool, but it has the strictest privacy settings so you can't even see her photograph without her accepting first. If I send a request she would surely realise I had gone to great lengths to find her profile and that will perhaps look a bit stalkerish so I've left it be.

Fancying someone proper bad is awful for your mind haha.

Yeah, probably leave it for now and friend her after the first few successful dates.

 

[Woolly Blue]

The thing is, I know for a fact she is on facebook but I think she's just set it to where her account can't be found easily. I found an account in the search with her name, from Liverpool, but it has the strictest privacy settings so you can't even see her photograph without her accepting first. If I send a request she would surely realise I had gone to great lengths to find her profile and that will perhaps look a bit stalkerish so I've left it be.

Fancying someone proper bad is awful for your mind haha.

I know it's easier said than done mate, but try not to over-analyse things and keep it simple.

It took me about a week for me to pluck up courage to ask my missus out, but it was as simple as asking her to go to the cinema in the end. We've been together for beards now.

Mind you, I've had a few say "No thanks" too, and I'm still good mates with one who turned me down, so even a rejection can end up with something positive.

if it's any help or consolation, in my younger days, when in the presence of somebody I fancied I could never string a coherent sentence together and acted like a complete buffoon. Or worse, the filter between my mouth and brain switched off totally and whatever thought was in my head came out my mouth- which led to a rather unfortunate incident when I said to the object of my desire "I want your body" instead of "I want your raffle ticket money" (he had been selling tickets for a charity I helped with). I never spoke to him again.

And all of that without the complication of a mental health condition. I think I'm trying to say, in matters of the heart, we all make t)ts of ourselves every now and again. Don't worry about it.

Next time some lass asks me to buy any raffle tickets I'll know exactly what she wants

 

[EFCPaul]

I know it's easier said than done mate, but try not to over-analyse things and keep it simple.

It took me about a week for me to pluck up courage to ask my missus out, but it was as simple as asking her to go to the cinema in the end. We've been together for beards now.

Mind you, I've had a few say "No thanks" too, and I'm still good mates with one who turned me down, so even a rejection can end up with something positive.




Next time some lass asks me to buy any raffle tickets I'll know exactly what she wants

Thanks mate, you're right I'm over-analysing everything but it's my nature sadly. Just thinking about how best to word myself next time, clearly inviting her for a game of pool wasn't the best idea but if I say "can I take you for a drink?" I'll sound like an old man, least according to my sister. She has told me to just ask for her number and see what reaction she gives.

 

[BiggyRat]

No unfortunately not mate. I don't have her number and her facebook profile is very private, I think I've found her on there but how do I add her without looking like a creep who's specifically sort her out to add? It would look a bit shady would it not and I don't want that, plus asking someone out online never sounds like a good idea.

It is annoying though, no way of contacting her at all unless we're in work face-to-face which is not as often as I'd like it to be admittedly. That's why I've struggled I think, I just haven't had much time to work with. The time we do spend together we get along good and I've learnt enough about her to feel it's definitely worth a crack. Finally worked up the courage now it's just the logistics getting in the way.

Can you call her at work when she's on? Does the job allow enough time for a personal call?

If you can, call her, explain that your rosters hardly match to ask in person, but you'd love to take her out somewhere...just a thought.

Worked for me. I met my future wife on a flight & got a few snippets from her about where she worked. Called the company, tracked her down, and the rest is history. If she has the same feelings, its not all that creepy to track her down, if she doesn't, be cool about it & say that you hope to remain friends as you enjoy working with her.

 

[Elong]

Bad day or two for me. Feel like I've gone backwards a month. Can't sleep at night, all I want to do is sleep in the day, can't stand being at work. Exhausted from my Crohns. Now the missus is worried about financial stuff if I can't keep working. Hopefully it's just a day or two and it'll pass.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Bad day or two for me. Feel like I've gone backwards a month. Can't sleep at night, all I want to do is sleep in the day, can't stand being at work. Exhausted from my Crohns. Now the missus is worried about financial stuff if I can't keep working. Hopefully it's just a day or two and it'll pass.

No advice to offer but hope you feel better soon. x

 

[Elong]

No advice to offer but hope you feel better soon. x

Thankyou means a lot.

Looking at dropping a day of work during the week as a short term option, suggested by my boss. Perhaps he's understanding it a bit better now. I don't want to give up but it probably makes sense.

 

[BiggyRat]

Thankyou means a lot.

Looking at dropping a day of work during the week as a short term option, suggested by my boss. Perhaps he's understanding it a bit better now. I don't want to give up but it probably makes sense.

If it means you'd be more productive on the days you're there, then that's a win win. Sounds like it's not a role you could do from home sadly.

 

[Elong]

If it means you'd be more productive on the days you're there, then that's a win win. Sounds like it's not a role you could do from home sadly.

Be great if I could! I think that's the plan. I dunno what's going on though with me today, shaking, anxious, like i was a month ago, I've taken all my meds correctly and have been healthy with my diet etc. Doing everything right and still not enough. Positively down in the dumps.

 

[BiggyRat]

Be great if I could! I think that's the plan. I dunno what's going on though with me today, shaking, anxious, like i was a month ago, I've taken all my meds correctly and have been healthy with my diet etc. Doing everything right and still not enough. Positively down in the dumps.

Clearly, I don't know but maybe the body just needs to let out what the med's have been suppressing? Im sure your Doctor can investigate it for you. I hope you get some answers.

 

[EFCPaul]

I've just had my worst mental breakdown in years, it was very, very bad. Argued with my mum, my brother and let something innocuous send me over the cliff edge. I live by a railway line and for a few minutes had very bad thoughts about going near it to do what should be the unthinkable. That's what was so scary, in the moment it didn't seem like the unthinkable, it seemed like the easiest way out. The easiest escape route from the pain and it's something that I genuinely considered. No one should have to go through that.

My mood has been low for months and I've left it to get slowly worse and worse. It started back from when I told the story of how me and my co-workers went on a night out and they all left the place without me and without a goodbye, only to be told yesterday they'd all made plans to spend their night together. It really hurt my feelings, it hurt far more than I'd like to admit too but did, I saw it as a clear snub. Being the new guy in any workplace is hard but I was the only person going in the job who was a complete outsider, no one I knew prior to joining whereas everyone is related or been friends for years, I felt like such an outsider and that incident only made me feel 10x worse. Since then my mood has been generally low and it's sank even lower the past few months, I've suffered intense paranoia thinking that people in the place have negative opinions about me and there's no one I could build any sort of relationship with because no one would want too. I've come to realise that all this talk over the past few days about me wanting to ask out a girl I fancy isn't really me having strong feelings for this particular person who I admittedly don't know very well, it's me subconsciously wanting to feel accepted by a group of other people. I've been telling myself for months I'm not liked and not included but if I managed to get this certain person to like me the others would warm to me too and I wouldn't feel so left out and down all the time.

I've had a bawl in front of my mum and let it all come pouring out, she has suggested going back onto Citalopram because there is clearly an imbalance in my brain and it needs stabilising, I can't just keep allowing it to destroy me emotionally like this. I've agreed and will go and see the doctor hopefully later this week.

Whilst I was at my lowest and considering going in front of the train I rang my friend who was nearby. He immediately came to help me, staying on the phone all the way and trying his best to lift me and making me promise to wait for him. He really saved me, I honestly don't know what might have happened had he not come. He's a true friend, he's the type of person I want in my life going forward and the type of person I want acceptance from. I told him about my doubts and he said "Mate, I care about you. I'm here aren't I, that is proof that someone IS bothered about your feelings. I'm here because I want to help you and wouldn't ever leave you to be alone."

I've spoken too him since I've calmed down and told him I can't thank him enough for being there when I most badly needed him.

If anyone else is feeling low and knows deep down that they're sinking please don't leave it to just happen, please don't allow yourself to go through what I just went through or worse. Please, talk to someone, let it all pour out because an hour afterwards you will feel better and re-gather your thoughts and re-focus your perspective.

Life is horrible sometimes but we are strong enough to battle through it, sometimes we just need someone to help us pick ourselves back up when we fall.

 

[COYBL25]

Be great if I could! I think that's the plan. I dunno what's going on though with me today, shaking, anxious, like i was a month ago, I've taken all my meds correctly and have been healthy with my diet etc. Doing everything right and still not enough. Positively down in the dumps.

It could be that your meds need tweaking mate ?.

You've been taking them for a month now, so they should be at their optimum level of effectiveness.

I'd go back to the doc and see what he / she says ?

 

[Elong]

It could be that your meds need tweaking mate ?.

You've been taking them for a month now, so they should be at their optimum level of effectiveness.

I'd go back to the doc and see what he / she says ?

Might be that. I'm out of benzos and sleeping pills, and down to the citalopram. On 40mg, probably enough really! My doc is on holiday for another week or so and I don't really trust the advice of the other one, he's not been great in the past, last time I saw him he didn't give me any pills and told me to socialise more haha. Some old school doctors still out there.

Lunch time now and I'm just tired more than anxious now, few more hours to go and can relax for the day. Was an awful night for sleeping, only got a few hours kip, it was 24C and muggy all night, so that isn't helping. I think with a full night sleep I will be a different person tomorrow. If not I will be chasing more appointments.