I'm no kind of expert, but I read this and can't help but feel you should seek some help. Like many other illnesses, depression is unlikely to get better on its own and there are lots of professionals who have the skills and resources to help you. If you don't feel ready for that, why not pm one of the guys above?I've suffered and still do suffer with depression which has gone on since i was 15/16, parents don't understand how a 22 year old can be depressed, my little brother understands it more then them to be honest. I haven't told my doctor or really anyone else besides my immediate family because i'm not sure how it would help. Some days i feel boss like and others i could just sit there and cry but i don't do that like cause i don't like showing weakness, i feel i do know the root cause of my depression and i'm working on improving things for myself but it's hard when opportunities to do so aren't exactly in my control.
I've thought about killing myself and even collected the means to do it a few years back but thought better of it as it didn't seem fair on my family, i think if i didn't have one i'd have done though.