Hello friends,
Me again here.
Been feeling down quite a lot again lately and just came around to posting this here as a form of venting, I guess. I just don't feel like a lot of things in my life are meaningful and the only two that make me truly happy are computer games and lifting weights (the second just makes me feel accomplished, knowing that I can bench those 60kg 10 times for the first time in 2 years, today)... everywhere else I look - I just feel bad for a lot of my choices and things I've done... again. Worthlessness kicking in big time and I feel like I just need a drink or 12 to get looser... Sadly I know that's not even remotely good and I can't even bring myself to do it, as I know it's not the answer to my woes. I also might've re-started smoking a cigarette every so often, including literally right now.
It's half triggered by me, and half by the fact that all my friends are with that someone special or have found a "calling" so to say and seem really happy doing things (and some even have kids now ffs! I'm 22 bloody years old!) with/for that, travelling etc, whereas I can barely afford to go anywhere, but I'm even hiding it from my dad as he thinks I've made more than I have.
Again, hope everyone is feeling better than I am. And sorry for the mini-rant.
-V