Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[anjelikaferrett]

Thanks mate. I truly appreciate your message.

You're 100% right that phone was just the straw that broke the camels back now I look at things objectively. She's not been herself for a while and if I'd known what I know now, I'd have been more prepared for what's happened. Its easy to just think things like "oh just having a bad phase, she'll be ok" or "she's just a bit more moody then normal" right up until it all kinda explodes.

She's defo in the right place. I know you're 100% correct but all the same, I'd do absolutely anything to have her well and back home with me. I'm so upset at the idea that she'll always feel like I betrayed her.

I can only echo what others have said - you have not betrayed your lovely wife and one day, when she is feeling better, she will realise that. You clearly love her very much and have helped and supported her so much. Be kind to yourself x

 

[Gwladysstreetlad]

I can only totally concour with my learned friend @COYBL25 I too have a close friend whose wife had a total mental breakdown and attempted suicide, she too was sectioned, he was trying to balance his responsible job with bringing up his family and dealing with his wife's situation which tested his resolve.
That was some ten years ago and there has never been a repeat of that dark period for them.
I know there was a short time where they were getting the right balance for her medication, once that was sorted they haven't looked back and they have recently become proud Grandparents.
Mate, don't reproach yourself, you've done what you think is best for your good lady because you love her and want her to get better and you have to believe that will happen because it is fixable though you may not think that at the moment.
Mate, continue giving her all your support but look for support for yourself also if you feel the need, probably your doctor would be able to put you in touch with a support group, we have an Andy's man club locally which is gaining a great reputation.
I hope all goes well for you and your Mrs and you know there's lot's of good people you can sound off to on here and also receive good advice from, please keep us informed

you aren’t no failure atall mate that’s a lot for anyone to deal with, your trying to look after your mrs and that’s rightly so and your overthinking the part were you think you “haven’t”helped her she’s now seeking help mate a road to recovery

she’s in they’re now getting better as you have managed to keep her afloat to seek help

you didn’t think of that part

you already have helped

stay strong as you are mate x

I can only echo what others have said - you have not betrayed your lovely wife and one day, when she is feeling better, she will realise that. You clearly love her very much and have helped and supported her so much. Be kind to yourself x

Thank you all so much for these messages. Seriously, you don't know how much they mean to me. These last couple of weeks have been the darkest time of my life. I'd reached saturation point the other day when I made my first post and I was struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel. The kindness you've all shown me along with everyone else on here has truly helped me both to continue and put some things into perspective too. I can't thank you all enough.

 

[MaximusEvertonius]

Thank you all so much for these messages. Seriously, you don't know how much they mean to me. These last couple of weeks have been the darkest time of my life. I'd reached saturation point the other day when I made my first post and I was struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel. The kindness you've all shown me along with everyone else on here has truly helped me both to continue and put some things into perspective too. I can't thank you all enough.

I have been there, mate. The very last place you can be. The bottom. What I couldn’t see then is that it was a v-shape. It’s been slow. But shedding all the demons and sadness, the negative self-talk, all of it, it really can take you to a spirit of calm and freedom.

 

[matty1878]

It’s this thread, in my opinion, that’s the real heart and soul of this forum. At the end of the day what goes on in this thread is more important than anything else. It’s always attended and caring. It’s really one of the things I love most about Everton. It’s the people. Just real, down to earth. Once you’re in, you’re always in. They’ve got your back no matter where you’re from or where you live. Just the best of humanity in here and in this club.

i mean i’m buyest but i know our fans are amazing that’s in every aspect x

 

[matty1878]

@Gwladysstreetlad ever wanna talk mate i’m a pm

 

[PKwalnuts]

Hooe you feeling a bit better today @Gwladysstreetlad reading through the stadium thread and test event thread opinions and seeing the pictures people took, certainly lightened my mood with a sprinkle of positive future. Hope you OK

 

[Gwladysstreetlad]

Hooe you feeling a bit better today @Gwladysstreetlad reading through the stadium thread and test event thread opinions and seeing the pictures people took, certainly lightened my mood with a sprinkle of positive future. Hope you OK

I'm feeling a little bit better now thanks mate. My Mrs seemed to be a bit more like herself yesterday when I visited. I think I'd hit rock bottom over the weekend and now I'm ready to start over. I know her getting well is going to be a long process. It could take anything, weeks, months or even years and she might have to go backwards before she goes forwards but I knew yesterday. She's still my Becks and I'm not giving up on her, or us no matter what, especially when she needs me most.

I just need to find more healthy ways to cope with the stress (talking here showed me that) and not expect quick results and improvements from her or perfection from myself. I'm still feeling rotten, but just having my head clear, having a plan and knowing that I'm 100% committed to it makes me feel stronger and less hopeless and lost.

Thanks for asking mate. Its truly appreciated.

 

[Gwladysover]

I'm feeling a little bit better now thanks mate. My Mrs seemed to be a bit more like herself yesterday when I visited. I think I'd hit rock bottom over the weekend and now I'm ready to start over. I know her getting well is going to be a long process. It could take anything, weeks, months or even years and she might have to go backwards before she goes forwards but I knew yesterday. She's still my Becks and I'm not giving up on her, or us no matter what, especially when she needs me most.

I just need to find more healthy ways to cope with the stress (talking here showed me that) and not expect quick results and improvements from her or perfection from myself. I'm still feeling rotten, but just having my head clear, having a plan and knowing that I'm 100% committed to it makes me feel stronger and less hopeless and lost.

Thanks for asking mate. Its truly appreciated.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better.

 

[Gwladysstreetlad]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

 

[dachshund]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

Just reading that made me teary-eyed myself. Moments such as these are what makes it all worth it. Wishing your Mrs. a good recovery and thank you for sharing that experience with us!

 

[mccole]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

You are doing so well man. It's hard being so strong. Every step is a positive. Keep going

 

[Gwladysover]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

What a special moment for you both, thank you so much for sharing.

 

[David09]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

Keep the updates coming please. We're all rooting for you and your Mrs. Stay strong.

 

[larbert toffee]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

Beautiful post

 

[Bryan+]

Just wanted to post a little update in here because sharing in here has truly helped me more then any of you can ever know. I'm really quite emotional in a positive way for the first time in a long while. It might not seem like a big deal but it meant the world to me. On my vist to see the Mrs today the nurses said she could go out and walk around the hospital grounds for a bit (which in itself would've been enough for me to say it was a positive day). Its the first time she's been outside the ward since she went in and we even got lucky as the sun had come up as we went out. Anyway while we where walking she smiled her real smile at me. Not the brave, put on one she uses to pretend that everything is alright, her real one. Its the first time she's smiled like that since this all started. It took everything I had in me to not get all teary-eyed.

Is right.