Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

roydo said:
I am pretty sure I suggested this to you last year. For the love of god, for you, and more importantly your daughter, you have to get professional help with this. To me, its clear that you know this "man" is bad news, but you dont seem to have the support to firmly address it. That is by no means a criticism, far from it.

Family, friends, police, GP, support groups all have access to the stuff you need. It may, well it will, feel horrible, esp this time of year/daughter, but junk this tosser and let him move on. DO NOT think you are protecting someone else through your own misery. Once he is in the system, like a hotel in California, you/he can never leave. Good luck. Xx
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Thank you Roydo. My remaining family & friends left long ago, they saw through what he was and I didn’t listen to them. My GP has been very supportive but I have extreme anxiety and hardly ever leave the house anymore. I was reasonably fit when he met me, I’m now a rotting shell of a person. My GP and therapist have told me I will only start to get better when he goes x
 
Brendan Janus said:
Do you know, you've hit hit right bang on the head there, I didn't know it was named bread crumbing, never heard of that, but that is the situation my ex Wife is in, abused mentally & physically & then treated like a princess, & she falls for it everytime !!
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I bet she’s lost all self esteem and is clinically depressed which makes her easily to manipulate.
 
Twinkletoes123 said:
Thank you Roydo. My remaining family & friends left long ago, they saw through what he was and I didn’t listen to them. My GP has been very supportive but I have extreme anxiety and hardly ever leave the house anymore. I was reasonably fit when he met me, I’m now a rotting shell of a person. My GP and therapist have told me I will only start to get better when he goes x
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They are right. And you know it. I am glad you have a few steps on the support ladder. But a GP nor a therapist can make you leave/dump him. Again, you know that. Maybe, in a few weeks, it will be the best New Year resolution you will ever make. Believe me, friends and family will rejoice, and a loving supportive circle of folk will emerge and this will soon become a dull and distant memory.
 
paultheblue said:
I am probably telling you about places you already know but have you tried

Hafan Cymru
This is a charitable housing association based in Wales that deal with women in your situation.
The number is 01267 225555 It is closed at the moment but there is an out of hours number.
Also based in Wales
Live Fear Free 0808 8010 800
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Had just come back on to suggest something akin to this.


If the POS won't go @Twinkletoes123 would/have you considered leaving him?
Most housing associations have special properties set aside for domestic issues where they will move you at any time that's safe for you.
Please consider this route as there seems kittle chance of him shifting until he's got his next victim in situ.

Stay strong, stay safe x
 
Twinkletoes123 said:
hardly ever leave the house anymore. I was reasonably fit when he met me, I’m now a rotting shell of a person
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Next time you do go out, don't go back. It'll be tough. There'll be doubts, fears, anxieties but you have those at home with him. Leaving will remove the cancer that he is and allow you to become you again. To become happy again. To enjoy life again. You already have a head start with your daughter there to help you through.

Do it.
The sooner the better.
Cut him off, like you would any parasite, and get as far away from it as possible.
 

Twinkletoes123 said:
Some of you may remember me from last Christmas, my life hasn’t improved, I’m still in the same place that I swore last year I wouldn’t be again.
I have asked my husband to leave numerous times to get the usual retorts of in a couple of days, which never materialises. He hasn’t changed, he drinks non stop, is verbally abusive, intimidates, doesn’t allow me any boundaries, is awful to my daughter, I could go on and on. He’s messaging his next unsuspecting victim, I just want him gone.
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Bloke sounds like a scumbag...hope things improve for you mate its no good being around someone like that.
 
Twinkletoes123 said:
I bet she’s lost all self esteem and is clinically depressed which makes her easily to manipulate.
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She's very unhappy, but gets sucked back in ! & uses me as someone to talk to, as her family are not interested, because she keeps going back with him !As I said vulnerable !

But what about you, where will it end, or where do you want it to end ?
 
tommye said:
Had just come back on to suggest something akin to this.


If the POS won't go @Twinkletoes123 would/have you considered leaving him?
Most housing associations have special properties set aside for domestic issues where they will move you at any time that's safe for you.
Please consider this route as there seems kittle chance of him shifting until he's got his next victim in situ.

Stay strong, stay safe x
Click to expand...
I have thought of that but I’ve been here nearly 21 years and is an assured tenancy. If I was to move, I can’t see me getting a guaranteed home that I won’t have to move out of every other year. I am keeping on at him everyday about getting out now so he seems pretty desperate to hook his next victim, which is an awful shame for her but he can’t live without his narcissistic supply.
 
roydo said:
@Twinkletoes123

@tommye knows about this stuff. Get help. Xx
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Usually fully furnished, and usually in a setting with people from similar situations who are fighting the same fights. They help each other, guide each other, are there for one another when they're at their lowest.
When they get permanently rehoused they have a network of new friends to move forward with and rediscover the person they buried deep inside long ago.


Seen it far too many times in my job. Breaks my heart every time but I also get to see the other side afterwards, when they're settled and have rediscovered the passion for life they used to have.
Makes it worth it.
 

Brendan Janus said:
She's very unhappy, but gets sucked back in ! & uses me as someone to talk to, as her family are not interested, because she keeps going back with him !As I said vulnerable !

But what about you, where will it end, or where do you want it to end ?
Click to expand...
Hopefully he will leave soon and my daughter and I can live in peace without walking on eggshells and without fear. He knows how we feel about him and has for some time, so there is no reason for him to stay here. He’s not from here so hopefully he will go back to his hometown.
 
tommye said:
Usually fully furnished, and usually in a setting with people from similar situations who are fighting the same fights. They help each other, guide each other, are there for one another when they're at their lowest.
When they get permanently rehoused they have a network of new friends to move forward with and rediscover the person they buried deep inside long ago.


Seen it far too many times in my job. Breaks my heart every time but I also get to see the other side afterwards, when they're settled and have rediscovered the passion for life they used to have.
Makes it worth it.
Click to expand...
My therapist said I might have to
move away to be fully rid of him but as he’s not from here, I am hoping he may go back home x
 

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