Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Devanski]

No. Not really.

Difficult coming to terms with the suddenness of it and the fact she isn't here

But having you guys on this forum helps

Is there anyone there supporting you mate? (Crew or medical staff)

Are they dealing with any arrangements for you ( cutting short the trip, for example and managing your needs and expectations)

You need support right now and I hope you are not just being left to deal with this on your own. That would just be too overwhelming. Unless, you feel you need time alone, then that is your personal choice and should be respected.
Take care mate.

 

[larbert toffee]

Me too

Mate sorry I missed your original post, just went back and read it, so sorry for your loss and can't begin to understand how you must be feeling.
My thoughts and clearly those of many others on here are with you.
I've enjoyed your posts on here over the years and you're clearly a decent fella, love the fact you finished your last post with ' I'll get there though' and you will mate, as hard as that May appear at the moment you will.

 

[Earwigjoe]

No. Not really.

Difficult coming to terms with the suddenness of it and the fact she isn't here

But having you guys on this forum helps

You and yours are in all our thoughts and prayers. I dont know when you're home but brother if you need anything at all - any arrangements or contacts made just let us know and we'll get them sorted for you. God Bless?.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Bloody ell Joe it's been terrible on here is he ok

Hope so mate.

 

[larbert toffee]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

We love you too mate, your need to talk is not bull, your situation is clearly hurting.
You've already posted on here recently which is a brave thing to do in itself, whatever other people are going through don't ever think your problems are too trivial to share with anyone.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Is there anyone there supporting you mate? (Crew or medical staff)

Are they dealing with any arrangements for you ( cutting short the trip, for example and managing your needs and expectations)

You need support right now and I hope you are not just being left to deal with this on your own. That would just be too overwhelming. Unless, you feel you need time alone, then that is your personal choice and should be respected.
Take care mate.

The company have been fine on the whole. They have a care team who sort things out for you. I have to stay in Southampton for a couple of days to deal with coroner and funeral directors etc and the team sorted out hotel, extended car parking, FDs, and started ball rolling with the insurance.

We're back in port today and they let me have a cabin until I can check into my hotel and have arranged taxi to take me there.

There's not much in the way of counselling but I'm in touch with friends and family plus you guys.

There's just the little matter of a £2k plus bill for trying to resuscitate my wife which has been added to the room bill. I know the insurance will cover it but it's the thought of profiteering from the situation that rankles.

Whilst writing this post I just had a call on my wife's phone from the parking people asking why we haven't collected the car. Now that could be a breakdown at their end so I'm not blaming the care team just yet. I'll wait until they phone me

 

[Gwladysover]

My grandmother passed away yesterday, she used to go with my grandad to matches at Goodison even if she couldn't have told you what was happening or what the score was she went with him just about every match at home. Loved her very dearly.

So sorry for your loss, I hope in time you will find comfort in your many happy memories and your pain will lessen.?

 

[Gwladysover]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

So sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. Cherish the time you all have left together. Please try not to suppress your feelings, I know from experience that this is not the best course of action although we often think that it is. Take care.?

 

[Devanski]

The company have been fine on the whole. They have a care team who sort things out for you. I have to stay in Southampton for a couple of days to deal with coroner and funeral directors etc and the team sorted out hotel, extended car parking, FDs, and started ball rolling with the insurance.

We're back in port today and they let me have a cabin until I can check into my hotel and have arranged taxi to take me there.

There's not much in the way of counselling but I'm in touch with friends and family plus you guys.

There's just the little matter of a £2k plus bill for trying to resuscitate my wife which has been added to the room bill. I know the insurance will cover it but it's the thought of profiteering from the situation that rankles.

Whilst writing this post I just had a call on my wife's phone from the parking people asking why we haven't collected the car. Now that could be a breakdown at their end so I'm not blaming the care team just yet. I'll wait until they phone me

Sounds slightly ham fisted but at least there has been some help. I’m sure miscommunication and crossed wires can occur between different companies . Can’t imagine you needed any added hassle of having to explain your situation after you feel it’s already been done.
Glad you are in touch with friends and family though.
As for the 2k, you’re right, it’s covered by the insurance but just seems so mercenary... beggars belief to be honest but stay focused on yourself and your immediate needs and let all that sideshow slide.

 

[Cameron Manning]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

Absolutely nothing wrong with feeling compassionate about other peoples real life problems, in fact it would be a better world if there was more considerate people like yourself, nothing phoney about it at all.

 

[the golden visionary]

@Barnfred 55 condolences mate. Thoughts are with you and your family

 

[Spotty]

DDubN

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet

DDubl

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

Dublin thats a lot to deal with. All you can do is take care of yourself - for you that is talking and chatting to loved ones - and taking things day by day. I'm reminded of Oscar Wilde's who said the only thing that spoils your plans for life, is life itself. ALL of your family will be feeling it and there are no right or wrong ways to cope and deal with things. It must be like you can't see the woods for the trees. Letting people know your there for them, that you love them and supporting each other and gradually your life will " untangle " . I'm sure I speak for all on here in wishing you some peace of mind and continue talking. It does help. Take care buddy.

 

[NathDogg]

@Barnfred 55 I'm so,so sorry for your loss mate.

Thoughts and best wishes to you and the family fella - look after yourself mate.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Oh wow mate, that's awful. Hope you are baring up okay.

Lost my old man in a similar way - pretty much died in front of me (pulmonary embolism). I was just in a daze and numb. I can empathise but not truly understand how you feel. Again, hope you are alright as you can be. Its tough. My well wishes.

 

[BlueStevie35]

@Barnfred 55 my utter condolences to you sir. My aunt went through similar with her elderly mother (my cousins’ nan) a couple of weeks ago, they were out shopping along with my uncle, her mum felt unwell and went home, a couple of hours later my uncle was performing CPR on her as she’d had a massive heart attack which sadly she didn’t come round from as she was rushed to hospital DOA