Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Gwladysover]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

Not a load of bull at all - it’s important to talk things through not bottle them up. There is always someone to listen on here… so talk away!?

 

[Gwladysover]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

I have no words except to send you my deepest condolences and sincerest best wishes. Take things at your own pace and remember it is okay to cry. ???

 

[LeeCarsley]

My grandmother passed away yesterday, she used to go with my grandad to matches at Goodison even if she couldn't have told you what was happening or what the score was she went with him just about every match at home. Loved her very dearly.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

My grandmother passed away yesterday, she used to go with my grandad to matches at Goodison even if she couldn't have told you what was happening or what the score was she went with him just about every match at home. Loved her very dearly.

Sorry to hear mate x

 

[Earwigjoe]

@Barnfred 55. Are you ok brother???

 

[LeeCarsley]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

aye lad nearly broke down reading this, my own wife passed away nearly two years to the date. It never gets any easier to process but all I can truly say is don't shut out your other loved ones like I did mate, I made quite a few mistakes in my grief and pushed my children and siblings away. Sometimes it feels like God took my whole world away but as cliche as it sounds you begin to appreciate the memories you had of her, it becomes bittersweet rather than this clawing bitterness many feel in the moment. I am here for you if you ever need to talk my friend and although I've no idea if you are religious I will be praying for mate.

 

[Earwigjoe]

aye lad nearly broke down reading this, my own wife passed away nearly two years to the date. It never gets any easier to process but all I can truly say is don't shut out your other loved ones like I did mate, I made quite a few mistakes in my grief and pushed my children and siblings away. Sometimes it feels like God took my whole world away but as cliche as it sounds you begin to appreciate the memories you had of her, it becomes bittersweet rather than this clawing bitterness many feel in the moment. I am here for you if you ever need to talk my friend and although I've no idea if you are religious I will be praying for mate.

Sorry to hear about your gran mate and your wife also. Some beautiful and honest words in your post . God Bless and take care mate.

 

[Spotty]

aye lad nearly broke down reading this, my own wife passed away nearly two years to the date. It never gets any easier to process but all I can truly say is don't shut out your other loved ones like I did mate, I made quite a few mistakes in my grief and pushed my children and siblings away. Sometimes it feels like God took my whole world away but as cliche as it sounds you begin to appreciate the memories you had of her, it becomes bittersweet rather than this clawing bitterness many feel in the moment. I am here for you if you ever need to talk my friend and although I've no idea if you are religious I will be praying for mate.

Lee " made quite a few mistakes in my grief ". Too hard on yourself buddy. There are no mistakes in grief, none, your experiences were real for you, you made choices that in my opinion were neither right nor wrong. Grief is very very personal. I never attended dad's funeral. I thought I was cowardly later but I was trying to protect myself, so painful it was. All we can do is let loved ones know we are there for them and that we are there for them. I personally think the most supportive person to someone is grieving is the person who passed away. We talk to them, weep for them, remember them and yes, ask, what would they want. They aren't there physically but they are there in our thoughts and they help us get through, help us reflect and our loved ones are very very life affirming. I hope this makes sense buddy. Take care.

 

[Leylo]

Thanks to you all for your kind words. It is appreciated.

It's coming to terms with the reality of it I'm struggling with. I've spoken to her brother which was the hard one. But little things like getting the possessions she was wearing returned, seeing her photo on the bottom of the screen when reading back a statement I'd made, seeing her sun cap on the chair when I went back to our original cabin for more clothes. I just keep on breaking down.

I'll get there though

Mate I'm so sorry god knows what you're going through tear in my eyes reading this thinking about you, stay strong mate.

 

[Leylo]

Cheers mate. It's my first weekend alone since it happened, just had to get away, you know.
My ma has half the street in with her with my brother and sister so I took a chance to get away and mourn with copious amounts of booze.

Only just read Post so sorry Tommy, know what you're going through it's terrible, pain never stops you just learn to live with it ,take care mate

 

[Leylo]

@Barnfred 55. Are you ok brother???

Bloody ell Joe it's been terrible on here is he ok

 

[dublinbluenose]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

 

[larbert toffee]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

Sorry to hear about your dad mate but you've said yourself he's had a great life, just make sure you tell him how you feel about him while he is still here.
You don't have your troubles to seek at the moment but can I just say that apart from your dad you have to be selfish here in making sure you look after your own mental health, you have a young family there which is a big responsibility and you're going to need all your strength to stay strong for you and them, your brothers are big lads now and I'm sure they won't want you sharing the burden of their own problems whilst neglecting your own.
There are other good people on here who have experience of depression and can give you good advice for your situation.
I wish you all the best in the coming days and weeks and I hope things can turn a corner for you all.
There is always someone here for you on this thread, don't bottle things up when you feel the need to talk.

 

[Barnfred 55]

@Barnfred 55. Are you ok brother???

No. Not really.

Difficult coming to terms with the suddenness of it and the fact she isn't here

But having you guys on this forum helps

 

[Barnfred 55]

Mate I'm so sorry god knows what you're going through tear in my eyes reading this thinking about you, stay strong mate.

Me too