"...but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes and Everton conceding at least one goal."
- Benjamin Franklin 1789 (probably)
We've all heard or seen the famous quote above by the man most famous for frying his nuts off trying to fly a kite in a thunderstorm like a moron and earning himself a spot on the Yank's $100 bill for his efforts. We all like a bit of danger from time to time, especially us Everton fans who like to raise our blood pressure to perilous levels for roughly 90 minutes once or twice a week, but to turn yourself into a human pylon for what is essentially a children's hobby well... let's just say a certain Mr Franklin would be right at home booing off the boys in blue from the Park End at half time.
Speaking of living dangerously, how about a mention for the boys at the back of the line-up. It's not a proper match until you've seen a Pickford fumble 'n' tumble or a Mina swing 'n' miss. Of course the downside to these entertaining efforts is that keeping a clean sheet these days is more akin to finding the holy grail than it is to playing footie for an hour and a half. The nervy 3-2 win over Fulham on Sunday marked 10 games since our last one without conceding. Highlights of these past 10 games include losing 2 goals to League One behemoths Fleetwood Town in the prestigious Carabao Cup, going 1-0 down in the derby before the PL anthem had stopped playing and my personal favourite so far - West Brom's first goal in which Diangana was allowed to run unchallenged from 70 yards out before slotting past Pickford as easily as it is to undermine the electoral integrity of the USA in a handful of tweets.
If you close your eyes, you can almost hear the advertisement playing in training grounds across the country - "Are you an out of form striker languishing on the bench and waiting for the first choice lad to do his ankle? Perhaps you're the latest big money signing waiting for that elusive first goal. You might even have a record for the longest dry spell away from home. Does this sound like you? Well come on down to Goodison Park this Saturday. We've got unmarked space on the 6 yard line! We've got defenders that stand off until you've got no choice but to shoot! And if that doesn't work, we'll even add in a keeper that will literally throw the ball into his own net for you." Camera cuts to Ancelotti standing in the car park sandwiched between a blue wacky waving inflatable tube guy and a resurrected Changy the elephant spinning a large cardboard arrow.
Is it all individual errors? Is it coaching? Is it fatigue? Let's hear the theories and solutions and have a guess at when our next clean sheet will come.
Edit: Should have mentioned that, in true Everton form, we are currently the only team in the league to have stopped current league leaders Spurs from scoring - so I guess that's something?
