Best insults aimed at a player

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Bluebonic

Player Valuation: £35m
As I am bored listening to GoT members either slag off our existing players or slag off players who we may or may not buy for the future, I thought I would ask what are the better insults you have heard aimed at a player (Evertonian or otherwise).

there that made me laugh were...
Ross Barkley iced to make the run a pass from his colleague required. An exasperated fan shouted “Why can’t he see these passes, any player with half a brain should see them and start moving” guy next to me says, “He has the IQ of A bathmat lad, no chance of him making an intelligent run”. Another guy, exasperated at seeing Romelu fail to another pass, screamed” F off Lukaku you’ve got a touch like a club hammeand finally at Firminho in a derby “F off and bleach yer teeth”
 

Getting Kipper flashbacks here.

Anyway I remember Steve Ogrizovic coming to get the ball from the Park End and my Dad's mate next to me yelling "Steve!"
He looked over and my Dad's mate asked him if he had taken his ugly pills that morning.
He made eye contact with me and held my gaze for a second which lasted an eternity while my heart broke for him.

Great site lads.
 

Took my dad back home (for the last time, as it turned out) in 2007 and he, my sister and I caught the game vs. Middlesbrough at the end of September. We had seats in the Park End about four rows from the pitch, right behind the goal. Everton were attacking the PE in the second half and during one of the several lulls in play, I yelled at Mark Schwarzer in my best fake Aussie accent, "Hey, Schwarzer, what's Australian for sieve?" He turned around and glared at me; a few moments later Pienaar scored to make it 2-0. A guy sat behind me muttered, "Is right, son." My sister was embarrassed but the arl fella had a little bit of a grin.
 

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