Amanda Holden

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"The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, and still he came."

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Here it is and hear me out.

She's gorgeous, she can do sexy very very well but she can also be sweet, demure and someone you'd be proud to marry. Your family would love her, your mates would all be jealous of you and even though you'll be buying each other cookbooks with sweet notes in them you know she isn't partial to a bit of the rough stuff in the bedroom. Even her toes are in good order. The added bonus is she's a blue. In short, she appears to be the perfect woman.

This is where the deceit comes in, and I'm only going to say this once.

You just know, you can just tell that she's got lavender pot pourri in her bathroom. Not even seville orange fragrance but lavender. And her cat will have one of them little bells on it and she'll dote on the little rat despite it making your life a misery 24/7. I hate her.

My daughter was on BGT with the Presentation Choir a few years ago - they got to the Semi Final..

She said Amanda was really nice, genuinely interested in talking to the girls in the choir. Unfortunately Miss BR was too nervous to tell her that she was also an Evertonian.

As for Cowell - 'nuff said!
 


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