Aiden McGeady: The Answer to all of our problems

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Prevenger17

Great turn of pace, an eye for goal...
Oh hi there, I didn't see you come in. What was I doing you ask? Oh, just crunching a few numbers, trying to formulate a solution to our woes this season. It was a long 20 minutes, but I think I might have had my eureka moment and I'd like to share it with you.

Quick, what are the first two words that you think of when I say "Aiden McGeady"? Did you say "Inconsistent" and "Frustrating"? Congratulations, you're hopelessly wrong. These two buzzwords have followed young Aiden around for his entire career and, I must admit, I too have used the I-word occasionally in my more kneejerk assessments of our mercurial Irish winger. Allow me to demonstrate:

Aiden joined us last January for a fee that was 16 times less than Liverpool paid for Ballotelli. Some reports suggested we may have only paid half a million, yet he was subjected to 80 million pound scrutiny, "big fee" pressure replaced by the pressure of just being Aiden McGeady. He only started 5 games for us last season, making for an easy start to my number crunching career, because we won 4 of those.

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Wait, what's that I hear you cry? We were playing the likes of Stevenage, Hull and Swansea? Valid points, but what you're feeling now is just a light drizzle of truth. The hard rain is yet to come.

Fast forward to this season. At best a write-off or, at worst, a manager-sackable catastrophe. It has been difficult. Blue has turned on Blue, fingers have been pointed furiously, plotters have plotted. We've had more than our fair share of scapegoats and among the herd we can always find our inconsistent friend, Aiden McGeady. Derided by some as a "Championship standard" player with "no end product", surely our team is better off without him?





Nope.

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What's that, a trickle of sweat rolling down your furrowed brow? That's just the salty residue of broken illusions, your toxic falsehoods being juiced dry on the orange squeezer of truth. Here comes the science bit. We've started Geads in 16 matches this season in which we've scored 29 goals and conceded 22. In the 15 games that he hasn't started or played, we have scored 16 goals and conceded 20. Bear in mind, the 6 goal bumming that Chelsea gave us did happen on his watch, which I believe is a freak occurence that fudges his GC statistic. It all points to one thing: McGeady is our Dark Knight. The hero Goodison needs, not the hero it wants.

So why has it become so natural for some to launch such regular and predictable volleys at our hard-working enigma? Simple, really. Racism. They hate Irish people and Irish culture. Nothing less than the eradication of my humble nation with a tactical nuke will satisfy their hatred. Their words, not mine. McGeady represents everything they loathe. Pride. Freedom. Skill. Hard work. They are anti-Everton, and would sooner see us relegated than proven wrong by our industrious winger.

There's more to this. In compiling this information, I wasn't surprised to see the many times we conceded goals after he has been withdrawn, the goals we scored when he came on. At best, it was circumstantial evidence that I felt unnecessary to illuminate. Because at the end of all this, we Blues, the good, honest Blues, don't need these statistics and pie charts to evaluate McGeady. All they do is graphically represent what we already know in our hearts. Aiden McGeady is a champion and a hero. A man who fights on, who ignores the haughty derision of the cigar-smoking, armchair elite, spouting cliches and soundbites over the swish of their brandies. They'll lambast Aiden for a misplaced cross in the 20th minute, but drop their pants and present themselves for an uppity Belgian(who doesn't even want to play for us) after he acts like a spoilt brat and denies us an almost certain goal. Aiden is the people's winger for the people's club, and long may his "inconsistency" continue.
 
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Under Martinez we have become a stats over results team. The breakdown of statistics provided by Prevenger shows us some fascinating results.

This is simply phenominal.

All hail Sir Aiden of Phenomville.
 
Just don't get why people dislike him so much. Weve had much, much worse players on the wing - Mark Ward - than him over the years. But there's always a scapegoat and at least Leon's managed to get the monkey off his back.

Wonder who's next to touch the monkeys paw? Dr Chinnery>Ossie> McGeady>?
 

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