My wife died suddenly, and I'm not doing well...

[Bryan+]

Hey @Pilks how are you?

 

[chrismpw]

Although you can't see it right now, things will get better mate. You are not alone in this, we're all here for you.

 

[PKwalnuts]

When you come on here you'll have loads of notifications, make sure you read them, see all the usernames of people that don't know you who are reaching out to check whether you need anything, or if they can help, find some solace in being an Evertonian surrounded by other Blues who will back you and look out for you mate. Whatever you need just ask and someone will help

 

[Rita_Poon]

I'm very sorry for both you and your wife. Words on a forum are only so much solace. I believe the suddenness of this ordeal will have both surprised and shocked you. The reality of the permanence is likely to onset in waves. Little things. Does the local medical authority run a bereavement service? Is there anything community oriented similar? The crushing quietness is something I remember, almost like floating around like the entire world had stopped.
Please forgive my maudlin tone, and the time it has taken to cough even this up. Going unsettling scar tissue isn't easy. This thread and the depression thread are fine examples of community and trying to help heal.

 

[Goodison87]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now, simply want to say my thoughts and prayers are with you at what must be such a horrendous time for you and your family and friends. Please take care, god bless you.

 

[Dutch Toffee]

Only just read now. My sincere condolences mate. Can't even start to imagine the emotions you'll be going through right now. Wish you all the strength possible to get through this.

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Trouble with pets is that we have such a strong bonded history with them. She was always a dog person, and when we moved in together I inherited her Chow Chow dog. We always had more chows, until recent years when we had three at once. Dogs were her 'children' she always said. They all died in consecutive years, and by that time she couldn't get on the floor to cuddle or groom them, so we adopted a cat instead, a house cat, aged 14, so that it would climb onto her chair and the bed and she could stroke it. The cat died three weeks ago, and she was inconsolable. She had already found another one online at the RSPCA to adopt, and we were due to go and see it next Monday. She already loved it and would constantly watch videos they sent. Any pet now would be a constant and devastating reminder, because I would know how much she would have adored it. I love dogs and cats, but I just can't... It would break me

I won't push it any further mate; you've got a personal wall to climb and, like I stated, I'm no expert...just another person laughing at the RS. Reminders are usually the first thing we push away in this situation but, as time heals, they take on a different purpose. All the best to you.

 

[SerenityNigh]

Trouble with pets is that we have such a strong bonded history with them. She was always a dog person, and when we moved in together I inherited her Chow Chow dog. We always had more chows, until recent years when we had three at once. Dogs were her 'children' she always said. They all died in consecutive years, and by that time she couldn't get on the floor to cuddle or groom them, so we adopted a cat instead, a house cat, aged 14, so that it would climb onto her chair and the bed and she could stroke it. The cat died three weeks ago, and she was inconsolable. She had already found another one online at the RSPCA to adopt, and we were due to go and see it next Monday. She already loved it and would constantly watch videos they sent. Any pet now would be a constant and devastating reminder, because I would know how much she would have adored it. I love dogs and cats, but I just can't... It would break me

Won’t offer any advice except to remember you have a lot of people near and far who care for you, even if most of us here are knobheads. Care to share her name with us?

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Won’t offer any advice except to remember you have a lot of people near and far who care for you, even if most of us here are knobheads. Care to share her name with us?

 

[bebo86]

R.I.P, so sorry for your loss mate

 

[PhilEFC]

Sorry for your loss mate.

I hope you have all the support you need to get you through this awful time.

 

[Lickle eric]

Sorry for the loss, awful terrible thing to bear.
Take care of yourself mate.

 

[Pilks]

Won’t offer any advice except to remember you have a lot of people near and far who care for you, even if most of us here are knobheads. Care to share her name with us?

Yes, of course. Her name was Janet

 

[degsy]

Yes, of course. Her name was Janet

First step.
I was about 3 or 4 months in when I realised that the kids, wives and grandkids seemed frightened to mention her name,
probably not wanting to upset me.
So ironically, to get them going I had to find ways to bring her into the conversation so They could talk about her without the 'guilt' of upsetting me.
I remember something on the news at the time, so I chimed in with..."your mother wouldn't have stood for that sort of shiz."
Well you could heard a pin drop.
Ice broken though
One of them said..."too right, she'd have been all over that" - and off they went.
I had to kick-start things 4 or 5 times over the months.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

There's an organisation called meet up, that looks after those who are widows and widowers, I thought it was just Merseyside, it's nationwide.