Aston Villa vs Everton

Still buzzing off that. The season is up and running and in what feels like the first time in absolute beards we haven´t had to wait until the New Year for a proper win in which Everton are the absolute tits.

It´s at this point I´m meant to do the “this is Everton after all disclaimer” but I´ll swerve it as the week just feels good doesn´t it? As good as it was it´s not much in the scheme of things if we don´t follow it up and get a wee bit of the strangest of all beasts in sport, momentum.

I overuse it in these previews but Goodison under the floodlights in a big match is what it´s all about. It was a perfect day with it being t shirt weather and all and the chance for lids to get on the ale before the big match instead of any decent game we have being put at 12.30pm. Makes a difference and how. The place was rocking at it´s hostile best.

The players turned up, Moyes got his tactics right and United got it.

Time then this weekend to pack your bell bottoms and crank the De Lorean to 1974 down the M6 to take on the first team of England´s second city, with respect to Birmingham City.

Villa were going great guns and our nearest rival in the heady days of the fifth placed cup showdown of recent times. Then O´Neill got a titty lip on and left which was unfortunate as they had an American owner throwing money at them. Lerner, [URL=””]who looks like a fusion of the ghost on the train in Ghost and John McEnroe[/URL], then appointed some not so good managers and they tailed dangerously off to the bottom of the league. I think he´s done a good thing with Paul Lambert – I´m surprised the sh*te didn´t go after him rather than Garland´s newest bead wearing VIP – but he´s got a big job on his hands. They´ve got a bunch of average players when you take a look at their squad, which I´ve just done to try and hoodwink you into thinking I know a little about other teams.

Historically they´re our closest rivals in terms of success with them having notably won the European Cup in 1982 for good measure. It´s a shame as it infers that we´ve got a proximity to them which is not a good thing when you consider the acute levels of bellism that they suffer with.

It´s not just the accent and the JJB final discount rail attire, it´s the over exuberance they display in laughing at their own jokes which aren´t really funny. This is encapsulated in their rent a song fans who take tedium to new levels. You pay fine money to watch top flight football in this country and the last thing you need is a few thousand Jasper Carrot sounding stigs trying to engage you in “the banter” and mocking where you´re from: especially when they´re from Birmingham. You won the League Cup against us in the seventies, congratulations, but you´re a dull wife beating tit with bad lamb chop sidies so we both who the real winner is here.

As mentioned they are indeed one of the grand old teams of English football and a trip to Villa Park is seldom an easy one and in recent years we´ve find it difficult to come away with three points. They´ll be smarting from a defeat in their first game to West Ham and eager to impress on their first home game. No easy game this like.

They paid good money for Darren Bent who is the focal point of their attack, he´s not shy of a goal when he´s in the mood so we´ll need more of the ace defensive work. N´Zogbia seems to have been a lucky miss for us as he´s been sh*te since he moved to Villa for big money.

Delph is a talented player and one I reckon could have a very decent season. He does a lot of good work in their middle and we´ll need to get one of our grocks onto him early. Or just out pass the twats. They´ll pair him up with the industrious El Ahmadi who they recently signed from Feyenoord. It´s probable that they´ll be joined in midfield the [URL=””]Lidl Jason Statham himself[/URL], Stephen Ireland. I really haven´t heard of any of their defenders so that´s a nailed on clean sheet for them. Shay Given is in goal and he´s usually good for a fantastic save or two against us.

Anyway, Everton. There was a few audible groans and moans when the team was announced without Heitinga and with Neville but in true horses for courses fashion it very much worked, credit to Moyes. I hope we´ll have more of the ball against Villa so there may even be a change or two.

Jelavic had one of his rare games where he didn´t score but impressively we seen that he´s capable of doing some very useful spade work, he harassed United´s defence and keeper all night long, ending up with some cramp. That might have been a clever time wasting ploy on the sly. He´ll start.

Fellaini stole the show and rightly so, he enjoys playing United and they very much don´t like dealing with him. I don´t think I´ve ever seen a player who can manipulate the ball so well with his chest. He´s prone to putting big performances in big games but we need him to sex the life out of the not so great teams too. It also brought up the debate of where exactly is his best position, personally I think it´s in midfield but I think we´ll see more of him replacing Cahill there behind the striker. If not then we´ve got options for that system, or to put three attacking players behind the main striker as seems en vogue at the moment.

Miralles is eligible to play in this and is one of the players who can play in the roles I mentioned there. He won´t start but we may get a glimpse of him from the bench. Smart move signing him as his little Belgian clique with Fellaini might help keep Fellaini´s dar schtum in moving him on with the boring media wankfest we´re going to get, now they´re waking up to him.

Pienaar and Osman should feature and they put a shift in the other night but didn´t have much opportunity to create stuff, which they should get against Villa. Naismith came on as a late sub and again should remain one for this. There´s competition now with attacking players so it will benefit us with some luck – or until we get smited with bubonic plague at Finch Farm.

Heitinga as said missed out, only making a late appearance as Fellaini´s fluffer for the standing ovation. It makes you wonder how long his days will be at L4 with knowing that in 12 months time he´ll be entering the last year of his contract. We place ace football from the back when he´s there and he´s a decent defender. The problem is that neither Jagielka nor Distin can be dropped when they perform like they did on Monday.

Hibbert, confidence clearly buoyed as a free kick specialist, had a really good game to his credit. United are strong on the wings and he simply didn´t give them a look in. The really boss Baines will start on the opposite side of defence and we´re all suitably soothed now United have signed a left back.

The acceptance of getting off to a good start was rightly tempered by manager and players alike post game on Monday as one good home win can easily be forgotten with two potentially tricky aways coming up, and then the black and white half Scottish dickheads waiting for our next home game.

With some luck that prudent approach will pay off as Villa are really there to be got at it if we turn up like we can. Two wins out of two would be more than most of us expected and happily buck the trend for us being really crap at beginnings.

That buzz feels nice and it´s complimented nicely by the current collective bi polar-ism of those across the park. Let´s keep it that way blues.

Everton Mishmash
The History of Everton Football Club In One Image