It will all probably go to sh*t starting by losing against Norwich and this particular weekâ€™s journey ending with some sort of unsurprising poor luck gifting our nearest and dearest an cup final appearance. Hopefully crying it in like this will ward off evil spirits and this next week will be as good as the last one.Before I forget, is your bird fuming at that Daily Mail article? The one where the blonde piece is saying that other women are mean to her because sheâ€™s so pretty? Obviously you all would but Christ if her husband doesnâ€™t murder her and hide her body in a Ford Cortina before sheâ€™s 50 Iâ€™d be amazed, have you seen the kip of him?We made short shrift of a really average WBA side at Goodison and got the standard 2-0 victory that has been sadly missing for too long this season. The game was wrapped up with over twenty minutes left allowing our players to stop their nervous tremors and attempt all manner of stopovers and stuff. Everton! Everton! EVERTON!
This Saturday sees a trip into the dark recesses of the Evil Witch Of The Eastâ€™s mind, welcome to Delia Smithâ€™s Norwich City FC plc.Itâ€™s at this point I should be pointing out that the locals have an extra digit and the high probability of everybody being related in the various taverns dotted around the hamlets of East Anglia. Iâ€™ll be swerving that and instead focusing on how much no one really knows or cares about their city or their area. For Norwich is like an appendix, no one knows what itâ€™s really for; well apart from purchasing Dave Watson.
Sure theyâ€™ve got canals and those lovely varnished barges which are great if you are from Last of the Summer Wine or lock your children in a large wicker hamper basket for large parts of the day and make them call you sir. Alan Partridge is from there and even heâ€™s a parody but heâ€™s fighting for top spot in the all time Norwich fame league with Cagney haired kitchen nazi Delia herself.Getting to Norwich is like trying to itch that part on your lower shoulder blade that is out of bounds unless youâ€™re a contortionist. Itâ€™s a pain in the arse to get you, you inconsiderate tits. Why not chain up your city on the back of the abundant tractors in the area and pull it out of the swamps into something a bit better, like the Cotswolds or something?
They do have a team thatâ€™s playing some decent football under the astute stewarding of this yearâ€™s Phil Brown/Ian Holloway. Unfair on Lambert that as he has build a cracking little side on next to nothing and has them playing good football, on the ground and competitive. None of this sh*t that Swansea are trying and will eventually get found out trying to do.
You could see this very evident when we played them in a pre season game last year but one and heâ€™s kept it going in the top league. They were going great guns and rightfully above us in the league until they hit the end of February and since then theyâ€™ve won only one game out of seven, with that solitary win being at home against Wolves.Yes they will give us a good game and yes weâ€™ll have to be disciplined and not take it easy but this is more than winnable.Grant Holt has done well up front for them as an old fashioned big lump. I used to like him until he grew a moustache in a recent November. Is right, youâ€™ve gone through puberty but youâ€™re a tit and look like Dan Goslingâ€™s Dad with that ginger slug on your lip. Heâ€™s back after a suspension and weâ€™ll need to have Distin breathing all over him.
Introducing the Everton Mishmash!
A look through their players reveals a load of supposed lower league footballers whoâ€™ve got their chance in the Premier League under an astute manager and done good. Iâ€™ll stop being a bell now and say thereâ€™s lots to admire about their team and how they go about this business and even more so about a club which still has a strong local identity, trying to do things the right way.All the lids Iâ€™ve met from Norwich has been a bit eccentric but alright, more than alright actually. Good on you Norwich. When Delia self destructs into a giant red dwarf and swallows you whole we will remember you well.Iâ€™m not the most observant so Iâ€™m wondering how long itâ€™s been since they sacked off the traditional Good Friday games for the Saturday? Thatâ€™s sh*te that and wonâ€™t do us any favours having two tough games back to back in 48 hours before playing the semi final. Many of us are dreading a ludicrous sending off or one yellow card too many for one of our key players.
Being a very winnable game and wanting to keep momentum we should have a strong team out here.Jelavic wasnâ€™t in super slotting form against WBA but again showed why he should be exciting us next season when heâ€™s settled in. Heâ€™s got a brilliant touch and brings out the best of those up there with him. Cahill is looking somewhat like the Cahill of old massively pissing off opposition defences. A couple of goals for him and we may be seeing his Indian Summer. Thereâ€™s a good chance that Anichebe or Straquilarsi will be used to rest legs over the weekend, but I reckon that will be saved for the Sunderland game on the Monday.Such a shame Pienaar is cup tied. Sh*te rule that. Heâ€™s playing as well as he ever has for us and shows how much weâ€™ve missed him, more so than Arteta v2. Drenthe is back from whatever and is available to play although I reckon weâ€™ll see him from the bench in this and starting on Monday. Fellaini and Gibson are forming a really good partnership in midfield with the former being ridiculously difficult to play against recently.
Gibson seems to be getting confident too which playing regular games will do for you and is showing a really nice touch. Weâ€™ve struggled to get past well drilled teams but Gibson makes the pitch that so much wider by always looking to play a pass to the sides or forward, as well as doing a lot of donkey work that I wasnâ€™t expecting from him. Still early days but lots to be happy about there, neither Arteta or Rodwell has worked in the middle with Fellaini where as this one seems to click. Osman has been playing well on the right but tucking in the midfield and Coleman is back from injury so may be shoved in to get some match fitness.
Thereâ€™s been plenty of words recently about our centre halves who are playing great, the clean sheets are back and making a huge difference. Baines was singled out this week for praise from Moyes and along with Fellaini is the true class in the team. Heâ€™s developed into a really excellent left back, the type of which we may not see for a long while in royal blue after heâ€™s gone. Letâ€™s just enjoy him. It will probably be Neville at right back as heâ€™s a shoe in for Wembley so Hibbert will alternate on Monday, in my flawed opinion anyway.Going into a semi final on two losing games would be obviously far from idea.
Itâ€™s just by good grace that the fixture list has been kind to us providing two games that weâ€™ll win if we play like how we have been. Every time a player goes to the floor and winces your arse will be going a bit because itâ€™s all tied into the bigger picture. Itâ€™s a massive week kicked off by this game and everyone loves a happy ending.
In the meantime, letâ€™s keep this little thing of ours going. Get into them blue boys.