Everton vs Arsenal

Thick and fast now, thick and fast. Naturally we´re referring to our game schedule and not our slightly schizophrenic Dutch winger.

The past two games have lost us some of that momentum thing that we´d done well to build but all isn´t lost. We should have went through against Sunderland and we weren´t at our best by any stretch of the imagination. Boss save by their keeper at the end and it sets up a do or die game next week with the cherry being a Wembley semi final against our nearest and ****est. Merseyside! Merseyside! Merseyside!

Arsenal come to our leafy suburb of Walton in damn good form. There´s been growing unrest at the club for their inability to challenge like they used to and they haven´t won a trophy in beards so say their fans. Try seventeen years lads. Out of the ashes though Wenger seems to have hit on some formula that´s seen them look very good indeed recently (albeit for four games with only one away from home), playing their trademark expressive football with far too many passes and some boss goals courtesy of the very weird looking but tremendous slotting Van Persie.

This shall not be an easy game.

Wenger will be pleased of the let up in fan unrest as it seems to bubble under most clubs after a month of poor results. The clubs must hate the assorted bellends on twitter (self included). You´re only one hashtag away from losing your job it would seem. I was bordering on a Moyes hashtag recently until I realised that I´m an adult and I´d only look a bigger tit.

One thing Arsenal do possess is some ace foreign players, personally it wouldn´t be my cup of tea but they have a scouting system in place that picks up any kid who can do more than 15 keepy uppies under the age of six in any part of Europe or Africa.

There´s been some things in the press about the return of Mikel Arteta and the reception he´s likely to receive as the media like to look for any angle that may contain a hint of skullduggery. My angle is simple, he was a good player for us who I loved watching play football. He´d get a polite half arsed clap and then I´d want one of our grocks to snap him in two if it meant us getting any sort of upper hand in the game. Is it just me or does he turn into a combination of Max Headroom and Jersey Shore as each week passes in the big smoke. He used to be handsome, our handsome, and now he´s looking a bit weird.

Van Persie as mentioned will have to be watch very closely, and if even if we manage that he´d likely to get a chance and slot. He´s supported by two quick little f*cks in Walcott and the oldest looking nineteen year old in Oxlade-Chamberlain. I bet he was the first lad in the showers with pubes in his year.

In their midfield, of which Arteta has done well this season, there´s been a noticeable improvement in Song. He´s developing into quite an accomplished, dominant midfielder. The battle between him and Fellaini will be an interesting one. Rosicky has also been doing well for the past few games despite looking like a Latvian X Factor winner. It´s far to say the further east you get in Europe while the girls get prettier (and more likely to cut out your kidney while you sleep) the men get weirder looking.

In defence they´re doing well. Vermaelen and Koscielny have formed a more than decent partnership that can play a bit too. Sagna and Gibbs will provide more place from the flanks with the former seemingly scouted from the dark side of the moon.

Goodison has been a difficult place for the top sides to visit recently and we need to get back to some of that, complete with moody challenges on their defenders in the first five minutes and an aled up, hostile, very arl arse Goodison crowd.

Jelavic was one of the few highlights on the weekend. While it´s still too early to see how he´ll do, he does possess a really good touch and awareness that the half decent strikers have. If he can find the goals to go with it then it will make a massive difference to our immediate future. The ghost of Cahill past turned up and put in a very decent performance against Sunderland so my predictable calls for 4-4-2 will be curtailed this week as he´ll slot behind Jelavic or Stracquilarsi up front.

Rodwell, Coleman and Gibson are injured and sit this out so the midfield picks itself. Drenthe, Osman, Fellaini and Pienaar – who hasn´t looked himself in the past couple of games. That midfield can play a bit too. With Cahill likely to drop back into it and throw challenges around it´s got a bit of everything. We just need to hope that the ace Drenthe turns up and not the one that will eventually cause Moyes to bin him. That´s how it´s going to be with him though and to be honest we need it as were far too predictable. Drenthe will still win us more points in games then pretty much any other player from his goals and assists. We´ve just been conditioned into seeing hardworking players at sometimes the expense of flair in our team for the past decade. That´s not a snide Moyes dig either, for a time it looked like it was taking us places.

Defence should be Heitinga and Distin depsite Moyes clearly itching to get Jagielka involved somehow. He should be on the bench until he´s sharp again and needed/playing that well that he forces one of them out. Baines is going through one of the most average spells he´s been through in a while, and despite this is still one of our best players.

Neville or Hibbert at right back? That´s like choosing between a pint of mild or bitter. I´m not going to enjoy either and it should be kept firmly in the past. I wouldn´t mind seeing Coleman slotted in there when he´s back. If he doesn´t stake a claim then right back needs to be a priority for a new player with some of that money we don´t have but need to find.

Three poor results would this year´s supposed rebirth of Everton look like another false dawn so it´s imperative we get something, anything out of this game. In all reality Arsenal are no great shakes away from home so it´s down to us and whatever approach our manager takes to the game.

As often said it´s Goodison under the floodlights and a good team in town so there´ll be no needing for motivation. We owe these beauts a result, so get the f*ck into them Everton.

Everton Mishmash
The History of Everton Football Club In One Image