Is it May yet? The league table is painful to look at it not only for our positioning but also it´s accuracy as it´s about right that we´ve been the fourteenth best club in the division.

The FA Cup is a very welcome distraction then, a sort of week in Corfu to distract you from watching the big hand sweep around in your workplace too soon. Maybe not a week in Corfu, more a weekend in Dublin or something. You´re not looking forward to it a great deal but it´s different and welcome.

What sh*te am I chatting about anyway? It´s a Friday night game and that for me and many sounds boss. Finish work, right on the juice and into a floodlight Goodison that were hoping resembles a bear pit of ale soaked arl arses. F*ck off Fulham you blazer with jeans wearing pricks, you´re getting it/putting us out without so much of a whimper. Everton, Everton, Everton!

Blackburn footballed us off the park for the second time in a season, this time we didn´t have the spawn to gain three points off it. It should send alarm bells ringing as were decidedly average at present and without many of them glimmers of hope that you get used to clinging to with Everton. When you know that the best is behind. We´re essentially Les Dennis hoping the next call is a reconciliatory one from Amanda Holden but knowing that without serious money you´ll never clap eyes on such a sensational foof again. You´re left squinting your eyes and burping the worm over the good times. Saying that, surely we´re better than an FA Cup semi final win on penalties. Is that our highlight? Is that the pinnacle of our wank bank?

Fulham head to town on the back of a 5-2 win over the north eastern kopites, not a bad result considering how they´re doing this season. The one time microwave ready Moyes replacement is in his first year as manager talking a good game and attempting to play schexy football. Sometimes that works and other times they´re very average, they´ve more hot and cold patches than the local corpy swimming pool. We beat them away for example while Bolton and Blackburn trounced them. We´ll be hoping they continue to be tripe on their travels.

They´re got some decent players, but haven´t they all on these previews? They´re token American is having a good season, a couple of recent hat tricks have placed Clint Dempsey on 15 goals for the season. Touchdown. Away from the lazy stereotype of American players, this lid can play a bit and on his day he´s a bit rum. They´ve also got Zamora up front to consider who´d do more than a job for us. The corner flag heat seeking torpedo – Andy Johnson himself – may get a run out too.

Bryan Ruiz was their big money spending in the summer and has took time to settle but has had some bright spots. He´s the lad that scored a superb chip against us this season. He´s like a Netto Ginola but again someone that can cause a moody, not confident team some problems if they allow him to. That Dembele is a player. I thought Danny Murphy joined them in the twilight of his career but the one touch passing tit will probably get a testimonial out of them. He´s joined in the old kopites retirement home with Riise.

I don´t mind Fulham so they´re spared the usual typecasting tedium. Sure, they´re more Sainsburys to our Kwik Save but they´re quite pleasant people down by the river. Like an uncle who irons creases in his jeans and has out of control eyebrows. They´re a bit happy weird but ultimately harmless.

We´re one player less with the departure of Diniyar Bilyaletdinov. It didn´t work out but often it doesn´t. I´m not having that he was would have been boss in the Frank Worthington position or as a Russian left back, he just didn´t do it. That won´t stop me wishing he does well as he was a thoroughly nice lad, and were a sucker for them at Everton. Good luck Bily.

Cahill scored at last which should cement his place for another 131 games, we need more of the corner flags taking a lamping. Who he´ll be joined by is up for grabs, it´s just a shame our current strikers at not very good at grabbing. Saha has got free transfer to Auxerre in June written all over him. Staquilarsi´s second touch is always a tackle (credit to bluefox) and Vellios is boss as a sub but apparently not ready to start. We just don´t look likely to score two goals in any given game which obviously has it´s downfalls.

Two names being floated around are Barkley of which I really don´t know why he´s not getting game time based on what I seen in the summer and Jose Baxter fresh from a successful loan spell at Tranmere Rovers. We´re not likely to get a saviour any time soon but it´s hardly as if anyone else is keeping them out of our midfield with their performances is it? Gibson´s been a slight Neville upgrade in his two games so far and fair enough until he grows accustomed to the team and Fellaini needs to hit a consistent run of form. It wasn´t happening for Donovan last time out but at least he´s trying and the Anichebe wing project is doomed. It´s got the stage where I´m eagerly awaiting Osman and Coleman to return. Something, someone, somehow.

Moyes talked about having to decide between Duffy and Hibbert for centre half and I sincerely hope he´s playing crap mind games with Jol but then I doubt any of Fulham´s tactical gameplan will not be sent into disarray when Jol works out at 7.57pm that Moyes has blagged him.

Were not ripping up any trees in the league as stated so a cup run is a very welcome distraction. Allow us to dream a little. Mess up a plum home tie and the remainder of the season could be apathy or anarchy from many of the fans.

So there it is. Apologies for the lack of the magic of the cup in this preview but I´m sort of hoping Everton can provide me with that. Moyes was right in that it´s a bit glum at the moment as we need the team to do some ace things to lift the mood. I´m trying to think of the last game we played on a Friday night and I think it´s Spurs with the Naysmith free kick. It just made for a boss weekend and we need more of them.