Soccer´s back man. Whether you want it back or not is another thing, there was something pleasingly sterile about a weekend without Everton to piss you off in.

It was excruciating watching a very average Newcastle team there for the taking and us completely unable to do anything about it. Whether it was the players, the tactics or just a collective lack of ambition who cares? It pissed us off because it was entirely predictable. Oh and it´s another November where were near the relegation zone. It´s nearly as tedious as reading these match previews.

There´s been many tongues wagging in the interim about supposed takeovers where, correct me if I´m wrong, were supposedly vying for some Arab´s attention with the mighty Blackburn Rovers. Christ, it´s that bad? There´s something going on as the L4 Goebells himself released a blog confirming that talks were ongoing. There´s too many variables and stuff that neither you or I know about to get a true handle on it so let´s sit tight and hope new, genuine overlords come about some time soon. It would be nice to be a bit excited about Everton again.

There was some good news with Fellaini signing a five year deal which depending on your Everton outlook is either ensuring we get a better deal when he goes at the end of next season or a sign that something may be stirring and he´s been given assurances of it. Who cares? He´s boss in the middle when he can be arsed so more of that is no bad thing.

Obviously email-gate emerged today. It´s like being in a continual episode of Eldorado following Everton at the moment. Again your disposition will determine how you read it and react to it all. Thankfully there´s some fusball to talk about, hopefully for the right reasons.

I know football is meant to be a cruel business but did anyone see that first episode of Frozen Planet? Two massive bits of arl arse in it. That seal getting moodied by the killer whales and then casually picked off the ice when it was goosed. Next time I hear of a aquatic park trainer somewhere in American getting had off by one of them then I have no sympathy, why would you get into a deep swimming pool with one of them? The clue is in their name. Second bit of arl arse was the young caribou getting knocked over by it´s uncle while getting a legga off the pack of wolves, leaving the latter to feast on the young caribou like a family of six from Hull on a 2 star Benidorm buffet.

Which brings us nicely onto this weekend´s opponents, and hoping we won´t be getting a legga off another pack of Wolves. There´s been some mither there lately with their fans kicking off about a bad start to the season and Hammer Horror´s Mick McCarthy wanting to have a straightener with them. By the way they´re above us in the league. Speaking of McCarthy, it´s got to be longest drawn out case of receding hairline in the history of humankind.

It wouldn´t be a preview without a cheap stereotypical jab at our opponents. So for those in the vicinity of our humble part of Liverpool this weekend, prepare to be invaded by a golden army of slow speaking types straight off Christmas Top of the Pops 1974, with wacky songs and behaviour. You´ve been warned.

They´ve got a result in their last few visits to Goodison so will fancy giving us a game, pretty much anyone knows that if we don´t score in the first thirty minutes then there´s a good chance the groans will start.

Fletcher, Doyle and O´Hara all have a goal or two in them so will have to be watched. Fletcher on his day is a really decent striker, we could have done a lot worse but then he did cost some money. Their midfield can be obstinate, with Karl Henry keen to toey any player who´s a threat up the arse. Roger Johnson has been brought in to tighten up a previously leaky defence and should do when settles but he´s partnered by Christophe Berra. Ignore the funky name, he´s Scottish and not very good. Nailed on late headed goal winner for that now.

Trying to second guess who´s playing for us will be as futile as sucking your “six pricks” needle thing to make it red so you don´t need a booster. But I´ll have a go. Saha really shouldn´t moan on twitter about not being given a chance as he´s been given plenty this season and ambled around the pitch not doing much. Frustrating when you consider what he´s capable of, injuries permitting. Osman hasn´t pulled up any trees this season despite being played centrally a few times. So it´s either time for Cahill to stand up or maybe even Vellios. Doubt it will be two up front but I´d like to see it.

Fellaini is thankfully back as Neville the middle just doesn´t cut it anymore, if indeed it ever did. Rodwell should be geed up from an unexpected debut for England and this is exactly the type of game that we´re dying to see him really dominate, to soothe ourselves that he really can step it up into the player he has the potential to be. Drenthe should start on one wing, and either Coleman or McFadden on the other. I reckon anyway.

A big concern this season has been how easy we´ve leaked goals, a very un-Moyes trait for one of his teams. There´s potentially three competent centre halves there, we just need to find the right combo and fast. Can´t see anyone other than Baines and Hibbert as the full backs, the former could do with finding some form sharpish too.

So there we are, it´s been a while since we´ve played a game where we´ve been the favourites to win it. Which brings a different type of pressure, like forcing the play and getting the goals to win it. It would be very welcome to rediscover weekends where Everton contribute positively to it on a regular basis.

This would be as good a starting point as any, get into them blue boys.