Everton v Queens Park Rangers

The Great Civil Unrest of 2011 put paid to Spurs away, which you´d have to say done us a favour really so nice one to all them cockney unhappy lids.

I´m sure this will be some consolation to them as they´re getting bummed in the greenhouse in borstal over the next few months. Or more likely an ASBO, worn as a badge of pride. I´ll end the social commentary right there then.

All of this means we will go into the beginning of the season with three home and one away game that are all very winnable. I do realise this is Everton so it would be prudent to not count on anything like that happening.

The pride of Shepherd´s Bush return to the Premiership after a 15 year absence. The Premiership Gods decided to forgo any romantic return as Bolton duly tonked them four to nothing at Loftus Park. Of course this only gave us hope that we will double up on their grief and volley them all over the show at Goodison on the weekend.

QPR came up on a reputation of good passing football under Neil Warnock, which I consider to be some what of an oxymoron but I suppose we´ll find out. Watching them against Bolton they seemed a tad unlucky with a couple of the goals being fortunate but it hopefully won´t have escaped Moyes´ attention that they yielded very easily when the pressure was on.

On paper there is nothing too scary about their first team. Taarbat is the exception as apparently he can play make a bit and they have a very Championship looking strike force in DJ (crap name you tw*t) Campbell and apparent target of ours, Bothroyd. I have no doubt that the Dynasty haired Warnock will have them right up for this one so I far from expect a walkover.

We have some good memories of games against QPR, most notable being clinching the league in 1985 against them, and for the a nostalgic glow of our crap days – Hinchcliffe´s free kick in the early nineties at Loftus Road. For those lucky enough to be a bit greyer or balder, Big Bob scored 4 in the seventies. They´re apparently in the process of an ownership change which will see the end of Ecclestone and Briatore who are presumably keen to free themselves of the daily football club running to get back to what they excel at – wearing speedo trunks on exotic yachts and spending lots of money on brass.

The story of who starts for us will be in the midfield, you can pretty much guess it will be Saha and Cahill up front and the usual back four. There are doubts over Arteta (despite playing in the Monday friendly) and Osman which is doubly bad luck as they´re capable of playing on the side of midfield and that´s where we have a near crisis. Perhaps we´ll do a Walter Smith special and shorten the width of the pitch; at least we won´t have a hot pants wearing Andy Sinton raping our full back as per usual. Bilyaletdinov is injured as is Gueye, Coleman is both suspended and injured. Which leaves Anichebe and Barkley as the two who could reasonably start. A not too bad stage for the latter to start his first team education either.

This is the type of game that we struggled with in the last season or two as we annoyingly started taking plenty of points off those above us but got frustrated and ran out of invention against teams that come to Goodison and keep it tight. Saying that it´s highly likely QPR will attack us.

Momentum is a strange beast in football and something which has been alien to us before Christmas for quite a while now, them rioting soon to be buggered lids presented us with that opportunity now. While were not exactly chomping at the bit to get out there it is a season where there is not a great deal of pressure on a clearly talented group of players, small mercies etc.

Sometimes it´s better to focus on the simple things: weekend beer tastes so much better with an Everton win, so here´s hoping.

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