Back to footie you can be arsed about this weekend.

How are we eighth? If that bad David Blaine wannabe hadn’t scored for Fulham then we’d have been seventh. The league is a closed shop for European places but were glad of a little breathing space away from a massive battle royale to stay in the Premiership this season.

The win against Fulham was a welcome one meaning we’ve took ten points from twelve. You do sense it’s a fragile run of form as we just haven’t got going this season have we?

Onto (the) Villa then, who are having an absolute dog of a season and have plenty of fans pretending that they didn´t want O’Neill out. His replacement is Gerard “Ged” Houllier; one time of the LFC persuasion and who earlier this season had me tickled when he returned to Anfield, it was like seeing the ex wife you still yearn for. The current wife was not impressed and rightfully so. I can’t help but look at Houllier and think of the scene in Total Recall where they are out in the Martian atmosphere without protective gear and their eyes pop out and stuff.

They’ll be backed well by their travelling fans singing some really crap songs. What’s that My Lord one all about? Teds. It also seems around those parts that an alpha male wears Naf Naf trackie bottoms and a jarg Ellesse top. Crap profiling apart, they’re a grand traditional club so it must be a real worry to be battling it out with the Wigans and Blackpools of the world.
They sit one point above relegation and are in the middle of a bad run with three damaging defeats on the bounce. It’s weird as they do have a talented squad with some good young players and recently spunked 25m on to take Darren Bent. They certainly have a team capable of beating us with our current injuries.

The footballing pixie of luck smites us again with an injuries to Saha, Rodwell, Coleman and possibly Jagielka. This will leave Cahill, Beckford and Anichebe fighting over two places up front. Or in Victor’s case; punching the turf in anger and then trying to gulp three tonnes of oxygen. It doesn’t bode well for the rest of the season on the goal front, which is not much change from the first half of the season really.
It will be too early for Arteta so Neville and Dutch media monkey Heitinga will probably start in the middle. A word on that, he can do one with his snidey comments, the same applies to Fellaini´s dar too. They´re not daft, and know that ambiguous statements generate media interest. You´re getting paid handsomely, do your hard done by employee act in private.
Osman should retain his place as he’s in a decent run of form and lets be honest; the Russian sadly isn’t going to make it here. The defence should remain the same. The subs bench is likely to have a similar average age to a pool party at Berlusconi´s.

Three points in a tight game would be most welcome and have us contemplating an unlikely finish above what we achieved last season. Mad.